Just When I Thought A "Yearly" Exam Couldn't Be Any Worse

I don't care how many children I have had, I will never be comfortable going for my "yearly" exams at the gynecologist! I HATE them. No, that is not vehement enough. Loathe, despise, and abominate is getting a little closer. I put them off for years, at times. Anyway, the year of this story, I had finally made an appointment for my checkup. 

This was the year that Hannah was in 8th grade. We had homeschooled her up through 6th grade, but at the beginning of 7th grade she started at a small private classical school. One of the girls in her class just happened to be the daughter of my ob/gyn. That meant bumping into him at school functions. Oh great! Very awkward! I'm sure it never crossed his mind, but all I could think of was the fact that this man had seen parts of me that I hadn't seen!! Horror of horrors!! This dread was not lessened just because he had delivered a couple of our children, by this time. Mentally, I was simply unable to separate the man from his job.

Anyway, this particular visit was scheduled during the last part of August. Hannah was running cross country and had already started practice even though school had yet to begin. I had scheduled my appointment so that I would make sure to get in and out in time to pick her up after cross country. I dropped her off at the park where they were going to run, then left for my doctor visit. I arrived early so that I would be through in plenty of time.

Well, I waited and waited and waited. I was beginning to get nervous. I knew that if I had to miss this appointment, I might not be able to bring myself to reschedule it for months. They finally called me back to the exam room. It was almost time for Hannah to be finished. I was clad in the lovely little gown they give you, perched precariously on the edge of the table. I had a cell phone, but Hannah didn't.  There was no way to contact her and tell her I might be late. It was so hot that day and I was really worried about her being out there any longer than necessary all by herself. I called Kregg, but he works 20 miles away from where Hannah was, and he couldn't be there in time to pick her up. 

I was just at the point of putting my clothes back on and telling them I would have to reschedule. I had been there over an hour already. At that moment, the doctor walked in. I didn't want to complain, but I told him about Hannah and that I might need to go ahead and leave. He came up with the perfect solution. He said his daughter was there, too, with Hannah. His wife was going to pick his daughter up and he offered to have her pick Hannah up, too. He said I could then pick her up at his house when I was finished.  Very sweet of him to offer. Awkward, but sweet. He said he would give me directions to his house after we finished. He picked up his phone and dialed his wife. She didn't answer. He then said we would just go ahead and get the exam over quickly so I could leave. Well, the "quickly" part suited me just fine.

I assumed the position and he began. At that moment, his phone rang. He looked at the caller ID. It was his wife. He didn't even answer the phone; he just handed it to me and went back to work!!!!!  EEEEKKKK!! 

I promise I knew this woman's name, but I couldn't call it to save my life at that moment!! I answered the phone and stammered and stumbled over every word. I think I told her who I was and where I was. It's kind of a blur. I do remember that she said she would be glad to pick Hannah up for me. I handed the phone back to him. Did that really just happen?? The doctor never missed a beat! What is wrong with this picture? Is it just me or is it too weird that the doctor could be in the middle of conducting my exam while I was talking on his cellphone to his wife?! Maybe I'm too sensitive, but a little "compartmentalization" seems appropriate here! ONE thing at a time!!!

He finished and left the room while I got dressed. I went into his office for the "post exam chat". He went over everything and was about to dismiss me. I had to remind him that I still needed directions to his house. He had completely forgotten!

I walked out of the office in a daze. Now I have to go to his house and see his wife!!! I know these people don't think anything about it, but I have never felt so horrified in all my life! I rang the doorbell and she answered the door. Gracious and hospitable, she welcomed me into their home. Couldn't she just send Hannah out?? No, of course not. I followed her through the house and replied to the small talk, coherently I hope. 

I finally acknowledged the elephant in the room. I mentioned the phone call and said I was sorry I probably sounded a little odd. She started laughing and made some comment about me sitting there "naked as a jay bird" in my little exam gown. I couldn't believe it! I quickly made some excuse to leave and thanked her for picking Hannah up for me.

That was it! I couldn't do it anymore. If I had to see them at school, I couldn't see them "that way." It was time for a new doctor!!