Desires of a Mother's Heart

I still find it amazing after all these years of being a mom how deeply the "mother heart" yearns for His good and perfect gifts for her children. 

Over and over again, I have considered the verse that says: "But Mary treasured up all these things, and pondered them in her heart." Luke 2:19 in the NIV. The Message says it this way: "Mary kept all these things to herself, holding them dear, deep within herself." The shepherds were spreading the news the angels had delivered to them: The Messiah is here! 

Mary heard and pondered.

I like to think about her holding her precious baby boy in her arms as a brand new mother, imagining how the Father would fulfill all the things spoken of Him. 

Can't you just see her gazing into His little face in complete awe thinking about the Promise and the Potential and the Plan? 

Did she humbly wonder, "How?" 

Not, "How on earth . . .?" 

But, "I wonder how the Father will accomplish it? 

Or, "I wonder what the process will look like?" 

Never doubting, only anticipating. 

Or did she simply accept it as fact and not even wonder?

Webster's 1828 Dictionary defines "ponder" this way: 
"To weigh in the mind; to consider and compare the circumstances or consequences of an event, or the importance of the reasons for or against a decision."

When I became a mother, a piece of my heart awakened that I had never before known existed. Wonder-struck, because God had entrusted to us this precious little person with an eternal soul! 

Exponential Paradigm Shift! 

Who was she?  What would she would be like?  What would He accomplish through her? How would she talk and walk and laugh?  Who would she marry?  What would her children be like?  What would her talents and giftings be?  On and on and on and . . .

All of a sudden, my perspective was completely different. Things mattered more now. The important things had to be the important things. A sense of complete cluelessness descended concerning the "hows" and "whens" and "whichs" and "whats" that would need to be answered to be the mother of this little one. If I tried to reason out the answers to these things, there was a tension, a striving, a tendency to worry. If, instead, I asked for what He had promised me was always abundantly and readily available, there was peace. There was Peace standing beside me. Peace. Even when I could see no answer, solution, system, process, there was an underlying foundation that steadied my feet: He is the Answer, Provision, Way. An overflowing stream of resources available just for the asking.

James 1:5 "If any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to him." (NIV) 


And then another daughter. Then a son. Then another daughter. And another. And then two more sons: born to another, but given to us.

When I consider our children, I sometimes ponder the distance that remains for the "becoming" to be reality. It's the same when I look in the mirror. Through His Grace, He reminds how much He has already accomplished in the process of transforming them (and me) into His likeness. Not because of anything I have done as His daughter or their mother, but simply because He wills it.

At other times, I stare in wonder when I witness the fruits of the Spirit displayed in these young lives. The joy is like a huge wave crashing over my head. Joy overflowing the bounds of my heart, running down my face. 

How did He do it? 

When did it ripen? 

In Grace, He points to the many tiny, stumbling steps of obedience that seemed at the time without value or real meaning. And then He says, "Look what I have done! Is my arm not strong enough to bring it about?  I am Sufficient to accomplish it in them and in you."

"But Mary treasured up all these things, and pondered them in her heart."