Oh, The Things You Can Do With Peanut Butter!

One of my sisters now has six children. They are all very close in age. Right after the third one was born, I offered to keep her first two for a few days. Daniel was probably two and a half and Grant was almost a year and a half. I only had five, at that point, because we hadn't adopted Josh and Ben yet. Our two youngest girls were about three and a half and two years old.

We had been remodeling our house for quite a while. It takes a while when you do a lot of it yourselves. We had put slate tile down in the study, halls and den. Supposedly, you weren't supposed to have to grout this tile. The store where we bought it told us to just butt the tiles up to each other and that was it. Well, that was NOT it! There were still gaps that were going to be too noticeable to leave. But, of course, the gaps were too small to grout the "normal" way. The only thing I could come up with was to use a spoon and a small float. I know that sounds nuts, but you wouldn't have left it ungrouted, either.

Well, it had been a really long day of grouting. I had been on my hands and knees on that slate for hours and I didn't know if I would actually be able to stand up again. Not only that, but measurable progress was so excruciatingly slow that I was doubting if I would ever finish this job. Basically, I was at the end of my rope. When you get to that point, everything seems harder. And I still needed to take care of all these little ones. I used to wonder why dinner, dishes, baths and bedtime had to come at the end of the day when I was already worn out!! It would be so nice if I could just move all that to the mornings when I was nice and fresh!

Kregg got home from work and offered to take a turn with my grouting spoon. He didn't have to ask twice. It felt so good to be vertical! (once I made it to that position-on the way up, I thought I was gonna die!)

While off my knees, it seemed like a good time to bathe all the little ones. Before we got around to remodeling our bathroom, it had a huge round tub. It was probably five feet in diameter and 18 inches deep. It was impossible to actually fill the thing up with a 50 gallon water heater! Not very practical for big people, but our little kids loved it. It was like a big wading pool.

I got our two little girls in and out and dressed first. Next, I put Daniel and Grant in the tub. They were having a great time with all the bath toys. But, before I knew it, Grant had left a lovely deposit on the bottom of the tub! Not the nice, neat "floatie" kind, but the smeary, yucky, messy kind.

Okay, fine! Get boys out of tub, and clean them up. Get them dressed and send them off. Drain the tub, clean the mess, clean and disinfect all the bath toys and the tub. No problem. Right?

Well, isn't it just like the Lord to give you the greatest idea for a practical joke when you are so exhausted you can't see straight?

Caleb and Mackenzy were about ten and twelve years old. They didn't mind watching the little ones, but they sure didn't want to be anywhere near the radioactive waste! After I got it all cleaned up, I checked to see where they were. I snuck into the pantry and grabbed the peanut butter. Yes, I had thoroughly washed my hands, thank you very much! I went back into my bathroom, and smeared some of the peanut butter on the side of my face. I called Caleb and Mackenzy into the bathroom (can't remember where Hannah was. It really is a shame she missed this one).

"Guys, I just got all that mess cleaned up. But for some reason, I still smell it. Can you just see-do I have some on me somewhere?" The whole time, I'm acting like I can't imagine where it is, but I know it's somewhere. I'm standing with my arms stuck out, looking all around myself. They both stand there with their mouths hanging open, unable to speak at the horror of what they see. They just gape and point to my face.

"What?", as I reached to where they were pointing. I touched my face and acted surprised to find anything there, stuck my finger in it, sniffed it and licked it! I immediately started gagging and spitting. They both looked like they were about to throw up. They ran shrieking out of my bathroom through the house.

I could not stop laughing. They couldn't believe I would do that to them. And they wonder why I buy peanut butter in the 6 pound can?