Rebekah: A Special Revelation of His Love

After Elizabeth was born, we assumed we were out of the baby business. The doctors had told us that each successive pregnancy would be more dangerous. (Explanation in a previous posting) So as soon as she would outgrow something, I would give it away: clothes, carseat, everything! We certainly didn't have room to store extra stuff. Little did we know . . .

When Elizabeth was about a year old, I was homeschooling Caleb, Mackenzy, and Hannah. My homeschooling journey has been, for the most part, one of solitude. I have been called by the Lord to walk alone for much of the journey. When I say "alone", I mean that I haven't been in homeschooling groups or co-ops for more than just a short time here and there. I have been blessed to have a few people with whom I could compare notes from time to time, but the Lord has had me just focus on being home with our kids.

One of my friends told me about an author of homeschooling materials that she thought I would particularly enjoy. I read her book and many of her newsletters and received great insight into the principles the Lord had me learning. When I found out that she was going to conduct a seminar in Oklahoma City, I asked Kregg if he would mind if I attended it. I can seriously count the homeschooling workshops I have attended in all my years of homeschooling on one hand. Anyway, he bravely agreed to keep all FOUR kids, including Elizabeth who was 12 months old, so that I could go. He decided he would take the kids and go to his parents for the weekend.

I lit out in our van and drove myself, all by myself, to Oklahoma City (about 7 or 8 hours away). It was a very relaxing drive. I was actually able to think in complete sentences for several uninterrupted hours! Amazing! There wasn't anyone else I had to take care of or talk to!

I stayed with a friend who was attending the conference with me. I enjoyed all the sessions and it was a productive time to refocus my vision for our homeschool. But the most amazing part of the weekend was the closing prayer. As she prayed, the woman I had driven all these hours to hear asked the Lord for a unique blessing for each of us. She asked that, as we traveled home, we would each receive a special revelation of just how much He Loved us. Cool!

I began my return trip with a sense of anticipation. What did the Lord have for me? How would He tell me? I had a great time with Him all of those hours of my drive, singing and praying and listening. But as I arrived at my in-laws' (I was meeting Kregg there), I felt a little disappointed that there had been no "lightning bolt" of revelation. I had really enjoyed my uninterrupted hours with Him, but in the back of my mind I wondered why He hadn't answered her prayer over us. Of course, this is the part where satan whispers in your ear, "It's because He doesn't really love you all that much."

We spent the night there and then loaded up the next morning to go home. Then it dawned on me: I'M NOT HOME, YET! Dare I let my hope be resurrected?

I forget how we divided up the kiddos between the two vehicles, but I was fully back in Mommie mode as we drove the last two and a half hours home. Somewhere between Abilene and Midland, the lightning bolt struck!! God said to me, "You're PREGNANT!"

Needless to say, that was not QUITE what I had expected!!

Then the thought hit me: "What will Kregg think?!"

I went in the house as soon as we pulled in the driveway and grabbed a leftover pregnancy test. Sure enough, it's positive. I've never gotten to surprise Kregg and tell him "the news" before, he's always just known. I was really nervous, especially after what we had been through with Elizabeth. I walked into our bedroom and met him as he was carrying in our bags. I looked at him and he said, without missing a beat, "You're pregnant, aren't you?" The Lord had told him, too!!

The pregnancy was even more scary than it had been with Elizabeth. The bloodwork got up into the dangerous zone and we had to have several amnios. Once again, though, the Lord walked us through every new bump in the road.

Because of the doctor's concerns, they decided to induce a little early. We were prepared for the whole "sterile room" thing again, like we had gone through with Elizabeth. But, when Rebekah was born, she was perfectly healthy! Her bloodwork came back absolutely normal!!

Now, a little explanation about Rebekah. She sees my soul. I can't explain it, but she knows me better than any of the other kids. She spent the first 30 minutes or so of every morning for the first several years of her life, climbing up in my lap and "snuggling" me. I can't explain it, but she ministered to my heart.

When my mom was living here for the last few months of her life, Rebekah ministered to her in the same way. Mom had Alzheimer's and there was so much that was lost to her mind, but when she saw Rebekah walk through the door, she just lit up. Rebekah would run to her, crawl up in her lap, and they would just love each other.

She is nine years old now and is quite a challenge at times. We butt heads often, and sometimes it is unclear who won the latest round. But, she still melts me in a puddle. To her, I am transparent. She knows, when no one else does, what is in my heart. Wonderful and Terrifying at the same moment.

. . . a special revelation of just how much He loves me!