Our Precious Little Heathens

As a mother to children, my job description includes many unpleasantries. There are, of course, the sleepless nights with sick infants, emergency room visits (many for our children), various profuse bodily emissions at the most inopportune moments, potty training, parent-taught driver's ed, chronic health issues, and of course THE GENERAL MESS. But none of those come close to my all-time, #1-thing-I-dislike-the-very-most, part of parenting: Being the "Bad Guy" to my children. 

Many people just assume our children have always been wonderful young people who love the Lord and obey us cheerfully. The truth is all our children are born as little heathens who would, if left to themselves, be capable of every sin known to man. Just as we are capable. Without the Redeeming Love of Christ, I shudder to think what each of us would be today. 

The process of training them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord is arduous. That is not said to be discouraging, but it helps to pace ourselves if we understand it.

Over the 23+ years we have spent parenting, we have often been seen as "too hard on them" or "expecting too much from them." Now, in the way of disclaimers, I have been too harsh in my discipline, at times,  when I have allowed my emotions to dictate. That is not what I am talking about here. For purposes of this discussion, I am referring to our parenting principles, standards and expectations for our children. 


It is very troubling to see so many parents buying into the "friendship" model of parenting. I believe this is one of the single biggest problems bearing the destructive fruit we see in children today. We have wonderful relationships with our children. As they grow up, we are completely humbled to find with them relationships so rich and full. 

But while they are under our authority, we are their parents first. 

The friendship model of parenting is based on the belief that man is basically good and that nurturing that goodness will produce the best character. The problem here is that God says exactly the opposite! Man, created to be without sin and in perfect Communion, chose sin and from that point on, every single person born has been born with a sin nature. 

Period. 

The only exception was Jesus Christ. No one else is exempt from the Fall. This includes our precious, "perfect" little bundles of joy. We have to understand this, as parents, because we will otherwise not truly understand the battle we face for their souls. And if we do not fully engage in this battle, even before their births, there will be consequences. Our children have the potential for incredible fruit borne for the Lord's Purposes. They also have the potential to become the most heinous of reprobates. I know that sounds terribly harsh, but satan would love nothing better than for us, as parents, not to recognize the seriousness of this battle in which we find ourselves. Neville Chamberlain refused to truly understand his adversary, Adolph Hitler, and thought pacifism and friendship would satisfy. Ask Churchill how that worked out. Ask him about the price England paid for wrongly assessing the battle and the enemy.


For this reason, each time our child needs discipline we must deal with the heart, not just the outward manifestation. Every choice we or our children make reveals character. And it is from that perspective that we must give correction and instruction. We must help our children desire Truth in the innermost places of their hearts. To do this, they must learn to honestly look at their own motives behind each of their thoughts, words, and actions. If, instead, we simply try to be their friend and only do things that will make them like us, we are denying the nature of the battle. We have, at that point, laid down the weapons the Lord equipped us with in order to win the war for our children.

It is imperative, as parents, that we gird ourselves with the Truth and plead constantly for Wisdom. We cannot parent these eternal beings without complete and utter dependence on Him. I don't always reflect dependence. Sometimes, in my arrogance, I attempt it solo. And it always results in disaster. Thankfully, He takes our most feeble attempts to stay on this path and redeems them. He bears the most incredible fruit in them, and they bring Him Glory. What joy!

Growing up with this understanding has helped our children become who they are: wonderful young men and women who love the Lord and His Truth, even when they don't like what it requires of them. They know that we will not ignore issues of the heart, though we become so very weary of engaging again and again and again.  It would be nice if I could say the battle is over. But, of course, the sanctification of our souls will continue until we see Him, Face to face. For them and for me. 

Thank you, Lord, for not letting us remain unreconciled to You. Help us discern the true nature of the battle and the formidable nature of the enemy bent on our destruction. Help us help those You have instructed to recognize the true issues of their heart. May they see in us hearts humbled before Your Loving Tutelage. 


May we, as parents, not allow our hearts to despair as we refuse to settle for the world's standard for our children. May we choose Your very best with each and every decision. May we understand the need for personal holiness so that we can hear You clearly. May we humbly and lovingly correct and instruct. May our arms not grow weary and our feet not stumble. This season of parenting is short, but incredibly intense. Let us not lose sight of the goal. You are Sufficient. You are our Provision. You are our Perfect Father, willing to give us all the Wisdom and Grace we need to help these precious children walk in the Truth. May we dedicate ourselves to prayer for them. Forever.