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| Our four youngest monkeys on "Door Knob" (one of our favorite trees) |
Chapter 5 in The Power of Spoken Blessings takes the priestly blessing found in Numbers 6 and explains each of the six parts in detail. As important as this chapter is, I really want to move on to the next chapter for purposes of this discussion.
Chapter 6 is "Blessing our Children". Bill Gothard begins it this way:
"The home is the arena where giving blessings will most often touch our hearts and
lives with the greatest repercussion." (The Power of Spoken Blessings, p.56)
This is the very reason I wanted to get to this chapter.
If we, as parents are going to cultivate the habit of blessing our children we basically have to jump in and start. In this chapter, stories are told of a father sitting with his children and wife and praying for each one individually. He would pray specifically for the Lord to increase the character qualities he already saw, and then grow ones he knew lined up with the Lord's desires for his family. The daughters who were prayed over commented that after they received their father's blessings, they didn't fight and argue. They were much more loving toward each other.
Since we are creatures of free will, it is true that a child can reject the parental blessings. But that doesn't mean the parent should stop speaking it. Continually blessing a rebellious child can bear fruit at a later time. They may have to walk through a season of trials until the Lord brings them to a place where they can more clearly see the fruit of the choices they are making. But a parent who faithfully blesses, regardless of the reception, will be in a position to be of great help when the Lord softens the "prodigal's" heart.
Even though it can be awkward to begin blessing your children, the power of the blessing is worth it. The awkwardness will pass as it becomes more familiar.
I love the story in this chapter about a family who had cultivated this habit:
"Our children will come to us and report that one of their siblings needs a
blessing because he or she has a bad attitude or is being naughty. All of
us then gather around and bless the 'offender.' This act demonstrates
great love toward him or her. No need for the children to be telling tales
or taking matters into their own hands, as they now have a practical
solution to the situation."
"Whenever my husband and I notice a wrong attitude in a child, that child
receives a blessing, and I am continually amazed how attitudes change
immediately. Sometimes a little talk is required, but the spoken blessing
is the transformer . . ." (The Power of Spoken Blessings, pp. 59, 60 )
That same family reports that their children now often come to their parents to ask for a blessing when they know they will be facing a challenge. They have recognized the power of the spoken blessing in their lives and eagerly seek it on their own.
Now, I know that may sound like life on another planet when we honestly take a look at the "culture" of our homes. But, we can get there from here! The Lord's blessings are as readily available to us for our homes as they are to the family that is already walking in such fullness of blessing.
Take the first step: Pray for wisdom.
Ask specifically for eyes to see your children as He sees them. What does He desire to develop in them? If they have trouble with honesty, you know He wants us "to desire Truth in the innermost places." Do they struggle with controlling their tongue because of a hot temper? The Lord desires us to be "quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry." We can take any number of verses from His Word and, in His Name, speak them as a blessing over our child.
Another story is told in this chapter about a little boy who became gloomy and sulky:
"Every attempt we made to correct the problem failed. We had reached
the point of exasperation." Then they learned about the power of the
spoken blessing, which revealed to them their son's need for a blessing.
"I gathered the other children around and blessed Samuel. I asked the Lord
to bless him with a radiant countenance, joy in his heart, and a beautiful
smile that ministered into the life of others. As I was speaking his little
face lit up, his chest puffed out, and he just kept smiling. I spoke that
same blessing to him once more that same week."
"It has been around six months now, and I am very happy to report that
the change in Samuel has been miraculous. He keeps smiling, he has a
radiant joy about him . . ." (The Power of Spoken Blessings , pp. 62, 63)
I love the point that Gothard makes about the use of blessings while administering discipline. He says that when we speak a blessing over our child while we are disciplining them, the blessing should emphasize God's Love and His great Purposes for that child. He makes the point that by using a blessing during the process of discipline, a spirit of patience and love is encouraged in the parent. And this quote is one I underlined and put stars beside to make sure I would see it again:
"It helps to remember that the primary goal of discipline is not to bring
the child under the parents' authority, but under God's authority."
That is such an important principle. It may seem subtle, but the shift it makes in the heart of the parent is easily discernible by the child. When they know that we are simply the Lord's instrument of discipline and training, it changes their attitude toward the message we are delivering from the Lord. And it keeps our hearts in the proper posture of humility.
Blessings need to be spoken over our children, even when they don't need correction or discipline. We should speak over them things we believe the Lord has for them. Maybe your child is a natural leader. Then speak that blessing over them that they will lead others in a way that helps bring God glory, or that draws those being led closer to the Lord. Maybe your child has specific talents and abilities. Speak a blessing over them that they will use those gifts to bring the Lord great glory. Also pray His protection over them that they will not be tempted to keep any of the glory offered them for themselves, but that they will deflect it all and offer it to the Lord.
From pages 56 and 57: . . . to leave our children a heritage of many spoken blessings is one of the wisest and most loving things we can do for them.
I am going to end this post with this paragraph from the book:
When children came to Jesus, "He took them up in His arms, laid His hands
on them, and blessed them." Blessing our children is like putting them into
Jesus' arms to lift up and to have Him embrace them and bless them Himself.
(The Power of Spoken Blessings, p.65)
Lord,
We ask you to teach us Your Ways and Your Will. We cannot parent these children without You. You alone have the Wisdom to grow them up in Your Image. We must have Your help. Please gives us an abundant measure of Your Grace. Help us to actively cultivate spoken blessings in our homes. May we never usurp Your authority in their lives, but instead model proper submission to You before our children. May all the words from our mouths and the tone used to speak them bring You glory and point our children to You. Bless us, Oh Lord. Bless our precious children. Help us to hunger and thirst for You more than anything else. May we not be distracted by things that bear no fruit. May we fill our minds with Your Word so that we are ready to speak those Words into the lives of our children. Change us, Lord, to more clearly reflect Your Son. May we do everything in Love. May we speak everything in Love. May our children receive all the blessings You have for them. Please use us to help them be open, hearts and minds.
In the Name of our Precious Savior,
Amen
Previous posts about this book:
1. Spoken Blessings
2. Spoken Blessings, Part II
3. But How Do We Actually Speak Blessings?
4. Unexpected Benefit
Next post about Spoken Blessings:
6. A Light Bulb Flips On
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