The Power of Influence

What is happening in Caleb's life is not lost on his two younger brothers. These are the brothers he prayed for for years.

As Caleb has been cultivating spiritual disciplines, they are watching, observing. They notice everything. 

Caleb, Joshua and Ben all share a bedroom. And it's not a big one. Imagine: Caleb is almost 19, 6'1" and furry faced. Joshua and Ben are 13 and 12. For their ages, they are very, very small. Most people mistake them for about 8 and 9 years of age. And because of everything they went through when they were in Russia, their development is definitely delayed. So it is quite a challenge for all of them to share their space. Since our house has four bedrooms, there is just no way to spread them out.  But the Lord knew that would be the case when He told us to adopt two little Siberians. And He had a plan. He wanted them in close proximity.

It hasn't always been easy or calm. Caleb has times where he is very frustrated with the close quarters. In fact, he spent a few months sleeping on a couch in the den. This was a short season during the end of his "season of struggle". But as he has begun focusing on the way the Lord wants to grow and mature him, we have heard very few complaints. He has moved back into his bedroom to sleep.

Joshua and Benjamin adore him. They always have. Now, something else is happening. 

They have known Caleb was changing. Before their eyes, he is maturing and being stretched. And it is affecting them. 

The first thing we do in our homeschooling each morning is make a list of things to pray for in our prayer journal. Then we spend time, the four youngest and I, in prayer. Several days ago, Ben started adding a new thing to our prayer list, the list that often is identical to the one from previous days. He faithfully adds it everyday now. Know what it is? 

Caleb is struggling with the new disciplines: the getting up early (between 5 and 5:30), spending a couple of hours in prayer and study before work or school, going to bed early, fasting, large blocks of time worshiping, one day a week being at the soup kitchen at 4:30 a.m. So he asked his brothers to pray for him. He specifically asked them to "pray that I will have the strength to press further into God's Heart."

That's the prayer request that Ben adds, verbatim, to our list every morning. Faithfully.

Caleb is also leading worship for a small house of prayer on Thursday evenings. Joshua and Ben asked yesterday if they can go with him tonight. I explained to them that they will have to sit for three hours during worship and prayer, just making sure they understood what they were signing on for. 

They still want to go.

This morning I peeked into the boys' room to quietly tell Caleb, "Good Morning" at 5:15. When I went back at 6:20 to wake Josh and Ben, there was Caleb in his usual spot sitting on the tile floor in front of his desk with his Bible in his lap, head bowed in prayer. As I peeked around Josh and Ben's bunkbed, I caught my breath. There was Joshua, on his knees with his face on the floor, praying. Of course, as a mom, I had to cry. 

What a mighty work He has done!! Six and a half years ago, Josh and Ben had never heard of Jesus. And then they had to learn English well enough for us to tell them The Story. We sowed, but the soil of their hearts had to be prepared first. The Lord had to show us how to tear down what had been built into their lives through years of abuse, abandonment, and apathy. Then He had us start with a new foundation. 

Over the last six years, there have been many, many tears shed, prayers cried out, as we agonized over their hearts.  We doubted. We wondered. We wished. We hoped. And we kept coming back to what we know: He who began a good work in you will see it through to completion. This is His Work. As we try to walk in the light we have, He accomplishes His purposes. We just have to take the next step. The lamps in Biblical times were small oil lamps. These gave just enough light for the next step. They didn't illuminate the path for miles and miles ahead. Just the next step.

When Caleb used to come and tell me, as a little guy, that he had been praying for brothers, I didn't have the vision to see the road we would travel. But the Lord placed that vision in the heart of a boy longing for brothers. And now the Lord is using him to have a profound impact on these two little boys, thrown away by the parents who were supposed to love and protect them.

Our children need to understand how powerfully they influence their younger siblings. Next to parents, older siblings have the potential for speaking more good (or evil) into the hearts of younger siblings than anyone else. If children grow up understanding their responsibility in this area, the potential for fruit is incredible. But even if parents didn't know to cast this vision, it is not too late! The Lord can build relationships between our children, even after they are grown and gone, that will be blessings for the rest of their lives. If your children don't get along, or are apathetic toward one another, pray about it. Ask Him for what you want. He delights to grant our petitions when they further His Kingdom work. 

And just so you know, the Lord has done every single bit of this in the lives of our young men. He is so Faithful to take our smallest, most feeble efforts and multiply the fruit exponentially. He will do it for all of us!!

There is an excellent message about this principle that I listened to a while back, in case you would like more information. It is sold through Vision Forum. I always feel the need to add this disclaimer: Vision Forum (or any other source I recommend) has NO idea who I am, except for the fact that I order things from them. But the lesson is called The Influence of Older Children on Younger Children. It blessed me.