Book Review: Family-Based Youth Ministry

". . . teenagers learn best when they are surrounded by those who know more than they do, namely their own parents or other adults in the church."


This is the premise on which this vision-casting book for youth ministry is based. Mark DeVries has ministered to youth for years and the principles in the book were borne out of his frustration in making a lasting impact on the students that went through his "youth group." Even the ones he thought had been radically changed during the years of his ministry rarely went on to become adults who were maturing in their Christian walk. The ones who did grow into vibrant Christian adults were almost exclusively ones on whom his ministry made little impact. He says they would have grown into mature Christians even if they hadn't gone through his program. Why? Because they each had mature Christian adults, usually their parents, who were engaged in their lives. 


Out of this revelation, DeVries decided to completely refocus his view of ministry to youth. The program that he now facilitates is one that focuses on creating and enriching cross generational relationships within the Body of Christ. 


"The Christian faith becomes real to most teenagers not because of rational arguments for Christianity or because they try like crazy to hang on to what they believe, but because real people live out the gospel in what may seem like very insignificant ways."


So much of "youth ministry" today is "program-based." One of my favorite chapters in the book was examining Christ's ministry and recognizing the differences between it and what we come up with today.


"It is startling to realize the lack of programmatic focus in Jesus' ministry. He had no organizational chart, no planning team, no curriculum, and no ten-year long-range mission statement. Jesus' first priority in calling his disciples was 'that they might be with him.'" (Mk 3:14)


We all learn best by walking alongside the one we are learning from. There's no clear-cut, neat and tidy package that can be developed to create an assembly-line that will "turn out" mature Christians. We need to "do life together." We need to focus on the mentoring aspect of relationships. That's where the deep life lessons and principles are learned that provide a framework on which maturity can grow. 


"For most Christian teenagers, Sunday school and youth group have become a substitute for spiritual training in the home. Interestingly enough, the Sunday-school movement itself began as an outreach to unchurched poor children. Its founders never intended for it to take over the role of Christian parents."  


Parents must be taught, reminded, encouraged to take up their God-given responsibilities to train up their own children. Children who belong to families where this isn't going to happen need other mature Christian adults to come alongside them and take on the role of mentor. The ministry model that DeVries proposes in this book is based on developing these deep and lasting relationships wherein teenagers learn how to live the Christian life by watching adults do it. By talking to them and asking questions, they learn Truths that can take root and grow into a mature Faith. All of that growth is the Lord's Work. Our work is to sow and water into these young lives. 


"In the final analysis, though, family-based programs provide only the context for healthy connections to be made. It is the caring attentiveness of the older generation to the younger that is likely to make the most significant difference in the lives of the teenagers we touch, an attitude that can affect our youth much more deeply than our programs."


There is so much packed into the 250 pages of this book. If you want statistics, there are statistics. If you want anecdotal examples, it's full of them. If you want specific examples of implementation, there are pages and pages and pages of ideas to begin. The book is a complete package and I think anyone who longs for youth to grow into maturity would be blessed by reading it. My sweet husband is planning to read it and we hope to share it with others.  Hmmmm . . .  I wonder if I can get bulk discounts. :)



#31 in the challenge to read 52 books in 52 weeks. 

Read 52 Books in 52 Weeks