"The Worst Day of My Life"

Wet willies! YUCK! But Ben adores his big brother, Caleb, and so he loves it when Caleb teases him or even gives him wet willies. They have such a precious relationship that all began when God laid it on Caleb's heart to pray for brothers. As the only son in our family of five children, he wanted reinforcements. And so he began to pray when he was very young that he would be given brothers. He used to tell me that he had been praying for them, and I would say, "That's nice, honey, go play." You see, the Lord laid it on his heart long before He laid it on my heart, or Kregg's heart. 


We made one more trip on Friday: we took Caleb to college.


We worked all weekend to get him loaded up, moved in and set up. Yesterday, we went to church together, with Kregg's parents, and Caleb's roommate, then to lunch. We got him a few groceries and took them back to his room.


Then it was time to say, "Goodbye."


It was just Kregg, Caleb, and I and the four younger siblings. We put Caleb in the center of our circle and laid our hands on him to pray blessings over him. Rebekah started, asking the Lord to protect him and keep him safe. Next, it was Ben's turn. He began by thanking God for his big brother and the influence he has had in Ben's life. And then he broke down.


He started sobbing and the words wouldn't come. 


Of course, that opened the carefully closed floodgates for all of us. And so the rest of our prayer was frequently interrupted by sniffles and pauses to regain composure enough to speak what was on our hearts. Because this was important. And we needed to say these things. We needed him to hear these blessings in this place. We asked the Lord to give him Wisdom and Discernment. To dedicate that dorm room as "Holy unto the Lord." To give Caleb strength for his task. To pray that every thought, word, and action bring Him Glory. 


It was Holy Ground.


And it was so very precious. So very, very important for our family to commission Caleb to begin this next phase of his training for usefulness in Kingdom Work. And they all understood that this was the right way, the best way to close one season and to open a new one. This new one that we have known was coming and eagerly anticipated for what it will mean in Caleb's life, but dreaded for what it would mean in ours.


And so we drove away, leaving our precious son and part of our hearts, but knowing we wouldn't want it any other way. Because it is time for him to take that next step. And so it's good and it is exciting and we are so very happy for him and we know the Lord will bless it all.


There was a back to school party for the young people at church last night and so we drove home, unloaded and let the kids change clothes, then drove over to join in the fun. One of the mom's told me that when Ben had walked in before me, he told her, "This is the Worst Day of My Life." 


We let the kids swim and eat hamburgers and play silly games. And then we came home. Everyone was tired, so we all got ready for bed. The boys have always shared their room with Caleb and it made them sad to see his empty bed, so for last night, all four of the youngest bedded down in the den. Thinking they were all asleep, Kregg, Mackenzy and I were in our bedroom talking (she had to stay home and work, so we needed to catch up with her).


Then Ben appeared in the doorway. His little round face was all red and splotchy, with tears streaming down it. He said, "Mom, will you pray with me?" I gathered him up in my arms and snuggled him close in our big bed while Kregg prayed over that poor little broken heart. We talked to him about how he and Josh were God's Answer to all of those prayers Caleb prayed so many years ago, asking for brothers. We talked about how his job was to keep praying for Caleb and to focus on becoming everything God Designed him to be  because that would make Caleb so proud of him. We talked about what God will do through Caleb during this season. And we told him how proud we were of him to know that he needed to take all of his burdens to Him Who Carries our burdens for us. 


And then he went to sleep, because the Lord had granted sleep to this precious little heart.