Hannah and I Destroy Grandma's New Carpet

Hannah had just turned two years old when we visited Kregg's parents for the weekend. I was 7 months into Mackenzy's pregnancy. We knew before we left home, that Grandma, three days prior to our arrival, had new carpet installed: Off-white carpet. Needless to say, we had explained this to Hannah and told her that she could not take her sipper cup or any food out of the kitchen. This was before the "spill-proof" sipper cups.

You have to understand something about Hannah. She came forth from the womb speaking in complete sentences. Okay, maybe not quite that soon, but it sure didn't take her long. She never missed a thing, and she could tell you exactly what she thought about any topic by the time she was two. Talk about exhausting!

Anyway, our visit to Grandma's new carpet, I mean to Grandma's house, had been uneventful. That is, until Sunday morning, that fateful Sunday morning that is seared so painfully into my brain.

We had gotten up and were getting ready to go to church. I was feeling tired, but didn't think anything of it. I had a pretty, borrowed maternity dress to wear. I was in the bedroom getting dressed. I pulled on my hose and proceeded to stick my finger right through them. To keep them from running, I grabbed my fingernail polish to dab a bit on the run. Red fingernail polish. Here I had been reminding Hannah ALL weekend to be careful of Grandma's carpet. You guessed it! I dripped a drop of red fingernail polish on this brand new carpet!! My heart stopped and I wanted to dig a hole and bury myself. Instead, I went and asked my mother-in-law, did I mention she is a saint, to come see what I had done. I could not believe I had actually ruined her carpet. I told her we would pay to have it replaced in that room. She was so gracious about it, telling me not to worry. It was not a big deal. It would be okay.

While I was standing there staring at the red dot on the carpet, Hannah came in to see what all the commotion was. She was standing beside the bed and I was explaining to her what had happened when, without ANY warning, she just threw up!! GRAPE JUICE!!

Small red dot of fingernail polish, cantaloupe size puddle of grape juice. . .

My mother-in-law and I just gaped!

Then Hannah took a step backward and really let go!! We're talking a swimming pool!! Okay, not a swimming pool, but it might as well have been. I just started weeping. Hannah walked out like nothing had happened!

My mother-in-law still remained calm and gracious. She said, "Now, Anne you just do not worry about this. I will go call the man who installed it and ask him what I should do." She did and he told her to blot it up the best she could and he would come out later and see about it.

I told her that I was going to stay home from church and keep Hannah with me, not knowing if she had a stomach bug (with zero symptoms except instantaneous vomiting). My mother-in-law said, "She is fine, and I don't want you sitting here worrying about that carpet. You get ready and let's go on to church."

What are you going to do? We went on to church. While we were sitting through the sermon, I started feeling so tired. I thought it was simply being seven months pregnant, having a two year old, and having just destroyed my mother-in-law's new carpet. Seemed reasonable to me.

When the service was over, we headed to the car. Oh yes, I didn't mention we had ridden to church in my in-law's car.

Well, on the way home, I started feeling like I had been run over by a steam roller. The dots STILL did not connect in my rather muddled brain. Kregg's parents live seven or eight miles out of town. I kept sitting there thinking to myself, "What is wrong with me?" Well, if Grandpa hadn't stopped in the driveway to pick up the paper, I would have been out of the car. Instead, just as we pulled up under the carport, you guessed it!

All I could think to do was put my head in my lap, so I caught most of it in the skirt of my borrowed maternity dress, and jumped out of the car as soon as it stopped rolling. I just stood there dripping! What else can you do, but stand there. Now, I have not only ruined the carpet in the house, but I've thrown up in their CAR!!!! All you can do is weep, at that point. I told Kregg, "Okay, the only thing left is for you to go throw up in their offices, and that will complete the destruction."

My sweet mother-in-law told me later, because I was as sick as a dog for about the next 24 hours and don't really remember the two and a half hour drive back home, she has never felt so sorry for anyone in all her life.

I repeatedly asked her about the bill for the carpet. What did they have to do? Replace it? She never would tell me, but the next time we visited, the bed had been moved over the scene of the crime. She kept telling me it that wasn't the reason. Do saints ever lie??