The Essential Nature of Humility in Parenting

As we all seek to raise our children in the nurture and admonition of the Lord, the posture of our hearts is of critical importance.


As our babies begin to grow up and exert their "free will," the need for discipline becomes obvious. If we are wise, we will approach discipline with a humility of spirit. If we recognize our position as a sinner saved by Grace before a Holy God, we will be well equipped to provide proper, positive discipline for our kiddos. 


Instead of growing angry because of their wrong choices, we will be able to speak Truth to them in Love for the purpose of conviction that moves them to repentance and restoration to a right relationship with us, and through honoring us, with Him. 


Without proper humility, this is impossible. Discipline doled out from an attitude of pride will not have the same impact. When I harbor pride in my heart, I am thinking of myself. I am irritated that my children are not abiding by my wishes. I am embarrassed because I believe their poor behavior reflects badly on me. I am frustrated that my expectations have not been met.


When discipline is administered in pride, it can provoke a poor response in them. They sense in their spirits that I am the one offended and, since they know first hand that I am a sinner, they can feel justified in their hearts for a sinful response to my wrong motives. This doesn't excuse them. But it is my responsibility, as a parent, to model for them the proper relationship to authority. When I do, they receive discipline from me differently.


When parenting from a humble heart, the grief felt over our children not living up to the Lord's Expectations is recognized by their spirit. They come to understand that they are responsible to the Lord for their obedience and that we, as parents, are simply the Lord's "agents" to help teach them to walk humbly before their God. 


Walking in humility of spirit before God requires parents to follow the Biblical admonition to keep a clear conscience before Him. So when I sin before my children, I need to confess my wrong choice and ask their forgiveness for setting a poor example for them. Our integrity is essential. Our children know if we are "walking our talk." If we hold them to a different standard than we hold ourselves to, they know that. Yes, they are still responsible for choosing well, but my influence with them is damaged.


Humility in parenting does not in any way mean you are lax in your requirement that their obedience is instant, cheerful, and complete. In fact, there is actually more "power" in the gentle and quiet condition of your spirit when you are truly humble before the Lord as you lead your children to Him through your daily example, than there is in screaming, ranting, or raving at them.


I haven't always done this well. I am so thankful He continues to teach me how to be a better parent. I am so thankful He redeems all the times I haven't disciplined in Love.