Ministering to Adoptive Parents

If you've hung around here for any length of time, you've heard our adoption story. Seven years into the journey, the Lord has brought us so far. He has carried us through the "long, dark night of the soul." He has been our foundation and anchor through the storms that raged as He formed us into a family of nine. Only He truly knew what it took to bring us this far. Only He was able to it. In our strength and wisdom, it would have been completely impossible. 


He wanted us to be completely dependent on Him. He wanted us to recognize our weakness so that we would stay focused on Him. He knew Josh and Ben would need to see us walking out the faith that simply does the next thing He tells us to do. Our biological children needed to walk that same path, believing in His Grace to accomplish His Will. 


As I've shared before, it was a very lonely journey. Our friends couldn't understand the dynamics of what was going on in our hearts, in our home. Everything looked, from the outside, like it was picture perfect. That was not an image we tried to create. We were actually frustrated that that is what people thought our life was like. 


When the Lord places someone in your family that you didn't birth, especially if it is not an infant being adopted, there is no "switch" to flip so that your heart automatically feels the depth of Love that has grown over years for children you gave birth to. If that is your expectation going into an adoption, you're probably going to be in for a bumpy ride. We didn't understand how difficult it could be to walk through the process of allowing the Lord to transplant children into our hearts, into our family. 


The "transplant surgery" is worth all the pain. But the pain is real and it is very intense. The evil one loves to whisper lies to you about His Sufficiency, trying to shake your faith in His ability to accomplish His Purposes through what He has asked of you. 


And this finally brings me to the point I hoped to make.


You probably know someone who has adopted a child. Even if all appearances lead you to believe that things are wonderful, they still need your prayers and encouragement. What an incredible blessing you can be to a mother or father who are walking out a very difficult calling. 


Why not drop them a note of encouragement, telling them you are praying for them?


You could write out a blessing for their new child and send it to them.


If you are able, offer to watch their children and give the parents a night out. It can be very hard, especially in the first few months, for the parents to have any time to themselves because newly adopted children can require constant supervision. Josh and Ben couldn't be left alone for a moment during the first several months they were here.


You could write out a prayer and drop it in the mail to them.


Get a couple of your friends to help you prepare a meal for the adoptive family. 


Often, after the initial "buzz" has worn off a few months into the journey, most people may think that the hard part is over. In reality, that can be when the "honeymoon" phase is over and the real work of training in values and undoing wrong values begins. That's the perfect time to let the adoptive parents know that you are still faithfully lifting them up in prayer. Call them and ask if you can drop by to pray over the family. What a blessing that will be to them! 


Tell them that they can call you anytime and simply say, "Pray now!" When they are in the midst of an intense session of training or spiritual warfare, knowing they can call for backup through prayer is like offering to be a safety net to them.


Ask for specific prayer needs for the family. It may be that dishonesty is a huge problem for the new child. You can make it a daily prayer that the new child will "desire Truth in the innermost places." When you join them in faithful prayer for a specific issue, you are offering incredible support. You are helping them wage war against spiritual strongholds in the spirit of the new child.


Be a listening ear for a mom whose heart is worn and weary. You don't have to offer answers. Just listen. By offering that service, you are assisting her in carrying the incredible weight of the spiritual burden she is bearing for "the least of these." 


Pray specifically for the Lord to build a hedge of protection around the adoptive family so that the attack of the evil one will be rendered powerless. You can be certain the family will be under attack because the evil one does not want that child to be set free from any generational curses or sins. 


Remember the story where Joshua and Aaron were holding Moses' arms up while the battle raged? That is what you can do for adoptive parents. Committing to pray on a regular basis for an extended time can offer an incredible amount of support and encouragement. They need support for years. You cannot imagine the blessing your ministry to them would be! 


The picture at the top of this post is from our trip to Alaska last year. It just seemed the perfect visual representation of how tenuous things can feel when you step out onto a path that is completely unknown, completely unpredictable, changing your entire family forever. To have faithful, loving prayer support and coverage is the best gift possible. Is there someone you could support in this way?