Life: Served Up in a Million Pieces A Day

I want to dictate the terms of engagement. 

I want to be able to put things in a box and tie it up with a nice, neat ribbon. 

But life keeps climbing out of the box!


My response? Today?  Whack it! Beat it back into the box!! Blow it out of the water with a canon.

It's not pretty when I feel this way. My children don't watch this attitude and think, "Wow! Mom is bringing such glory to God through her choices!"


Cultivating young souls day in and day out is messy. I can't make it be nice and neat. He wants me to climb back up on this altar called motherhood and allow Him to slay me. Again. And again. And again. 


Until I quit crawling off. 


Until I quit pouting when I don't get my way.


Until I quit expecting it to not be messy.

Until I quit walking in my own strength and wisdom.

Until I quit reacting in anything but LOVE.


Lord, please help me love the way You Love. Please help me surrender my definitions and expectations of what my day looks like. Please help me surrender to Your Plan. Please help me willingly allow You to pour me out each day in service to my family. 

Completely. 

Without holding anything back for tomorrow, or this afternoon, or the very next minute. 

Either I believe You are sufficient, or I don't. 

You ARE. 

I am not. 

Not in the tiniest most minuscule way am I able to be what You desire, apart from YOU! Please fill me up with Yourself, so I can be emptied completely of myself. So I can lavish Your abundance on every second. 

Thank you for this life. Thank you for this job. Thank You for Loving me with an Everlasting Love, even though it's me!