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This is when we were first introduced to our new sons. |
When the Lord told us to adopt these little guys, he gave us a clear path to follow. That was so Merciful of Him, because 2004 was a really tough year. We were in the middle of remodeling our house, we already had five kids to take care of, there is a mountain of paperwork required for an international adoption, and my mom died.
Mom had been sick with Alzheimer's for several years. Dad had taken care of her as her condition worsened, but when she quit sleeping at night, he needed help. He had always said he would never put her in a care facility, but at one point toward the end of 2003, the Lord prompted me to start doing research into potential options. I didn't say anything to any of my siblings, at first, or to Dad. I just started making calls and searching online. I wasn't sure what I was looking for, but I just needed to know what was out there.
When Dad finally said that things were not working, I broached the subject. I went to Ft. Worth and, with two of my sisters, visited the places I had kept on the list of possiblities.
Nothing worked. None of the places could make all the pieces fit.
I went home and was crying out to the Lord for direction. "What do I do, Lord?"
"Midland", He said.
I sat in stunned disbelief. Dad would never pick up and move to Midland.
Of course, I immediately started looking in Midland. All the doors flew open. My first choice here had an opening and they could take Mom. Of course, the Lord had already provided everything I needed. I called Dad to broach the subject. He said, "Okay. I'll come." Yes, my jaw did actually hit the floor.
At that point, the flood of "to do's" started. There were several legal matters that needed to be arranged: Powers of Attorney, Medical Powers of Attorney, bank accounts, etc. There were lots of medical things, too. I had to find her a doctor here and get all the paperwork filled out, transfer all of her records, figure out all the insurance issues. We also needed a place for Dad to live. The Lord provided a nice little apartment right down the street from where Mom would be staying. It was perfect.
It was February of 2004, when everything was arranged. I drove to Fort Worth and brought Mom back to Midland. The Lord surrounded us with a host of angels as we traveled. There were so many questions that I just didn't have answers for. He Faithfully guided me through. Mom was very confused and there was nothing I could do but pray. We spent the night in a hotel in Midland that night because our house was not safe for her.
At one point that evening, I had gotten her to bed and she was actually sleeping. I thought that if I could just jump in the shower for two minutes, I would have a much better outlook on life. Thankfully, I heard the door to the hall open. Even though I had locked everything on the door, Mom had gotten it opened. She was in the hall and was not planning to come back in the room. Wrapped in a towel, I finally got her back inside. I was shaking all over. What if I hadn't heard the door? What if I hadn't been able to get her back in the room? I moved furniture to block the door, but had to watch her the whole time.
The next morning we drove to her new home. It is a beautiful place and the staff were very helpful and gentle. It was so clean and bright and cheerful. They had special things every day for the patients to participate in. But it was still one of the hardest things I have ever done. It was all I could do to finally walk out the door and leave her there. The tears are flowing again as I remember. If there had been any other way . . .
Several days later, my brother and sister-in-law brought Dad to Midland. He was going to keep the house in Fort Worth, so he only brought what he needed for the apartment. Our Care Group from church came and helped us move him in. Everything went like clockwork. It was all just a miracle. There is no other explanation.
Dad would spend everyday with Mom. He took very good care of her and did everything he could to help her. I know it was hard on them, but they handled it all very well. We visited them often. Mom's sisters even made a long bus trip to come and see her. We had a grand time! We hated to see them leave. Had it been up to us, they would still be here!! We made such wonderful memories in those few days. That time we had together was a special gift from the Lord. He knew what lay ahead.
Mom moved to Midland toward the end of February. Toward the end of July, I received a phone call in the middle of the night. They called to tell me that an ambulance was on the way to pick Mom up and take her to the hospital. She had contracted an infection and because the symptoms were somewhat masked by the Alzheimer's, it was very serious by the time it was caught. She was septic by the time she was admitted to the hospital. Standing in the emergency room, I knew in my heart that she would never leave the hospital.
They fought the infection very aggressively, but after a few days, she was moved to the Hospice floor of the hospital. When they moved her to her new room, I somehow ended up in the room alone with her for a few minutes. She had not really been alert for several days prior to this, but when I leaned over her bed, she opened her eyes and I knew she was "there." I stroked her hair and told her I loved her. She said, "I love you, too." That was the last thing she ever said to me.
My sister and I would stay the nights and Dad would be there during the day. After several days, my sister had to go home. I didn't know what we were going to do because we were scheduled to leave for Russia for the adoption in just a few days. You can't just reschedule a court date and a visa and your embassy appointments. I knew I couldn't leave with her in the hospital. I kept praying, but He had already provided a way.
One morning, I had just been home from the hospital for about an hour when Dad called and told me she was gone. As hard as it was to say goodbye, I was so happy that she was finally free and whole and in His Presence.
Once again, the Lord put all the pieces together. We packed up Dad's apartment, with the help of our Care Group, and drove him and his stuff back to Fort Worth for Mom's funeral. It was a precious celebration of a life well lived. We were surrounded by people who loved her and us. There are no words that can express the ministry of mourning with those who mourn. To have loved ones touch your heart as you sorrow leaves a mark on your spirit forever. It's a precious bond that transcends any other aspect of a relationship.
We returned to Midland and prepared to leave for Russia.
Before Mom had entered the hospital, we had almost finished tiling the den. It was the last part of the remodeling we needed to complete before we left to get the boys. We knew that once we brought them home, we would be in a very intense season of adjustment. There wouldn't be time for tiling for a while. We were laying slate tile which has to be sealed after it is grouted. I had sealed the same tile in the halls and study, but when we finally finished tiling the den and I put the sealer on, I put it on too thick. It dried milky instead of clear. It was a complete disaster. I called a flooring place to ask advice and they told me I would have to remove the sealer and redo it. I rented a big buffer and put a very abrasive pad on it, but it just could not get the sealer off. I called another place and they offered to have someone come look at it. He came and told me that he would take care of it. I think he sensed my desperation.
The next day, he brought a crew to my house. They spent all day on their hands and knees working to remove that sealer. They finally got enough off to be able to reapply a different sealer and be finished with it! I almost wept. I couldn't "gush" enough telling them how much I appreciated them. I told them they were an answer to my prayers.
Anyway, we finally left for Russia. We had dotted the last "i" and crossed the last "t" on all the preliminary forms. Every page that went to Russia had to be notarized and then sent to Austin to be "apostilled" (notarizing the notary). We were required to take $14,000 dollars in new bills to complete the adoption. We hid it under our clothing. No, there was nothing illegal about it. This was just what Russia required. In addition to the cash and paperwork, we also had to take gifts for lots of different people. There were gifts for the school board members, gifts for the court officials, gifts for the orphanage staff, gifts for the children. It was pretty overwhelming. Not to mention, we had to take everything the boys needed to come home. The orphanage couldn't spare anything, not even their underwear.
Kregg's Dad came to stay with the five kids we were leaving behind. We flew from Midland to Dallas, from Dallas to New York, and from New York to Moscow. We spent a few days in Moscow to do part of the embassy work. We also got to spend a day sightseeing. Our precious adoption agent, whom we never even met, had a hand-picked person to guide us through each stage of our journey. They would meet us at our hotel and take us wherever we had to go. It's a good thing, too, because the subway in Moscow is not for the faint of heart.
We flew into Magadan on a Thursday morning and our facilitator met us at the airport. She took us to the orphanage to meet the boys. You just can't imagine the conditions in Magadan. It was like stepping back in time. When we arrived at the orphanage, we were shown into a little room. Sergey and Oleg Naumov were brought in and introduced to us. The picture at the very top of this post is from that moment. Of course, everyone was shy and it was kind of awkward, but that didn't matter. We got to spend a couple of hours with them that afternoon. Our facilitator went with us and interpreted. We saw the sights of Magadan. Quite a story there: Magadan was the headquarters of Stalin's Siberian Gulag. Prisoners were brought there by rail or ship to work in the silver mines. Most of them never came out. Stalin made Hitler look like a schoolboy.
That evening, after we dropped the boys off, we went to the home of our facilitator to be prepped for court the next morning. She told us what we could and couldn't say. She helped us understand what to expect.
On our way to court, our facilitator told us we needed to give someone a ride. We stopped and picked up a woman dressed in a military uniform. We didn't really know who she was, but we tried to be friendly. As the proceedings began, we were a little nervous in our souls, but our spirits were at peace. Kregg talked for a while, pausing for translation. He began talking about our children. He went through the list of their names and birthdays. I was thinking, "Why is he telling all their birthdays?" I would find out later. The main issue that we were questioned about was the number of children we already had and why we wanted two more. We tried to help them understand our motivation for adding to our family. The judge was satisfied and approved the adoption. After only an hour, we had grown to a family of nine!!
After the proceedings ended, the woman we had given a ride to came up and asked me if there were any more men like my husband in America. She asked if I would please send them to Russia. She explained that in Russia, a good husband is one who doesn't drink "too" much or beat you "too" often. She couldn't imagine a father who cared so much about his children that he could actually recite all their birthdays!! Unbelievable. We were later told by our facilitator that this was the one woman we had to worry about. If anyone was going to make trouble for us it would have been her. The Lord moves in mysterious ways. I'm glad I didn't know that before court.
We got to spend a couple more hours with the boys that afternoon. Now they were ours! The next morning, our facilitator took us to the airport with the boys. She waited until the last minute before putting us on the plane and said this, "I need to tell you something. When you get on the plane, it will become obvious very quickly that you are foreigners adopting these boys. You may get lots of really mean looks."
"Why?!!!" I asked.
She replied, "There have been rumors that you people come over here to adopt children only to take them back so they can be used as organ donors."
We were in shock. Here we were about to board a plane with 300 Russian speaking people for an 8 hour flight across 8 time zones and they were all going to think this??? Not to mention, we had two little boys we didn't know who only spoke Russian. At this point, we had only spent a total of about 5 hours with them and it had all been in the presence of a translator. Needless to say, we PRAYED.
We nervously boarded the flight, packed in like sardines. She was right, it wasn't long before our fellow passengers realized why we had been in Magadan. But instead of hostile, angry looks, there were only smiles. Every time a meal was served, extra food from those sitting around us was handed between the seats. People wanted to share their food with the boys. They would give us the food and point to the boys and smile. Beautiful smiles that communicated what no words could. He is our Protector.
There was so much more that happened on the trip, I could go on forever, but one common thread wove it all together: The Lord was with us. He provided everything we needed before we knew we needed it.
We landed in New York City and went through Immigration. The boys were now American citizens! We landed in Dallas and were met by lots of family members. Kregg's brother and sister in law brought the boys their first cowboy hats. My sister's family and my brother's family brought presents, too. Dad was there to meet his new grandsons. It was wonderful.
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Meeting their new family and friends at the airport in Midland |
Finally, we made it back to Midland. It had only been 10 days since we left, but it seemed like forever. We were greeted at the airport by a whole room full of friends and family with banners and balloons and presents and hugs.
And that is how we became parents to two little boys from far eastern Siberia!!! Oleg is now Benjamin Oleg Conder and Sergey is now Joshua Sergey Conder. Wonder what the Lord has planned for them as they grow up? Must be something amazing!!
(A repost from the archives)
What about you? Tell us a story about His Faithfulness in your life. It can be old or new. It can be about you or your kids or your parents or grandparents. Anything that is part of your Heritage of Faith works! There are so many moments in our days where He shows Himself Faithful on our behalf. It doesn't have to be some huge, earth shattering thing. I have so many stories of "small" examples where He spoke just to me, or helped me in a way no one else was aware of, but it ALL displays His work in our lives. I would love to hear of His Hand in your life.
This linky is closed but every Friday, we have a link-up testifying to His Faithfulness! Come join us this Friday!! :)
This linky is closed but every Friday, we have a link-up testifying to His Faithfulness! Come join us this Friday!! :)
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