Hudson Taylor, Faithful in the Little Things

I read a book several years ago that made a huge impact on my life: J Hudson Taylor: A Biography. He was a missionary to China in the 1800's. In fact, I would venture to say that, next to the Bible, it is the most important book I have read. Unfortunately, it is difficult to find this book now. (It has just been reprinted. Volume I, Volume II, 12/29/10) This particular biography of the life of Hudson Taylor is in two volumes. The authors are meticulous about documentation, and so the pace of the book tends to drag a little, especially in the first volume. The foundation laid there is necessary, however, to understand the full impact of what this man's life meant to the world, especially to China. 

It is interesting to me how many biographies are included in Scripture. Biographies are particularly useful in helping us see how someone gets from Point A to Point B. It's one thing for me to read about the amazing things God does through someone's life. I tend to think, "Well, that's great. But I can't get there from here." In a well written biography, we get to watch the consequences of choices made and how those consequences direct that life. In this biography of Hudson Taylor, the reader gets to watch as God does His work in the life a "regular guy." It is because of the choices Taylor makes that the Lord is later able to change the world through him.

As I read about the early part of Hudson Taylor's life, it was easy to relate to him. He was just a normal man living a normal life. The significant point of this period in his spiritual walk was watching as he was presented with choices. It was because he recognized that EVERY choice mattered that he began to grow spiritually. He learned to be faithful over the small, seemingly insignificant things and the Lord continually increased the responsibilities entrusted to him. To watch his faith grow made my faith grow. He understood that those choices we make when no one else is watching reveal the most about our character. 

It is so imperative that we recognize the moment of decision. Too many times, I have been swept along in the rush of the moment and have not consciously made a choice. It is when I stop and realize that I am actually being presented with a choice that I clearly see the options before me. If I just react and choose, I may pick the "okay" option. If, however, I look closely, there is almost always a "best" option. Without intentionality, I often miss the very best. It may not be a question of right or wrong. It may, and usually is, a question of better or best. If I recognize that my rate of spiritual growth is directly related to the quality of my choices, the import of each one becomes much more evident.

As parents, this principle is crucial to impart to our children. They tend to do the same thing I do: brush past the moment of choice without recognizing it. Everything I think, say, and do reflects character. My heart is revealed in my choices. What a blessing when our children understand this principle at an early age. Every revelation of a lack of character in our children is an opportunity for us to teach them what is revealed about the condition of their heart. 

I can't attribute the source of this quote, but it has always stuck with me: You do what you value and you value what you do. If I say something is important to me, but my choices don't reflect that, then is it really important to me? I have to answer, "no." I am merely paying lip-service to that value in my life. Ouch! The Lord is stepping on all ten of my toes again! 

For example, I say that I value Truth. Does my life reflect that? Of course, I try not to lie but is my motivation to be truthful? Or do I say what is technically true, without revealing what is really in my heart? Do I speak the specific information that can leave me looking "righteous" and leave unsaid what is actually more true? I may not speak a lie, but actually deceive by what I left unsaid. If I desire to choose the very best in my thoughts, words, and actions then I must let the Lord refine me completely, down to the motives of my heart. He slowly peels back the layers of my soul and lovingly shows me how to better reflect Christ. The more I am emptied of self, the more I can be filled with Him!!

This is where Hudson Taylor proved to be so very faithful. Over the years of his life, he grew more and more into the image of Christ. It changed him, the nation of China, and rippled across a large part of the world. He served the Lord's Kingdom in China for decades and through the Lord's Power, many found salvation. The fabric of that nation was fundamentally altered for generations. For more than 50 years, the sun never rose without finding Hudson Taylor already on his knees interceding before the throne of God for that nation.

Taylor was so committed to following the Lord's will in the smallest detail that he never let the physical or financial needs of his ministry be known. He believed that the Lord would direct and guide him through miraculous provision. Story after story is related in the book of how the Lord sent exactly what was needed at the very moment it was required without anyone knowing about the need. Taylor believed that the Lord would always provide whatever was necessary to accomplish His Will. 

One particular story told of him later in life is my favorite. He was asked to return to the West at times to give a report of the Lord's work in China. I don't remember the specific location, but he was scheduled to speak to a large gathering of people at a church building. They were all assembled, eagerly anticipating his message and report from the East. As he walked down the aisle to the front of the room, every person in the room began to weep! He didn't speak a single word. It wasn't necessary. The man was so emptied of self and filled with the Spirit of God that the crowd was overcome. To be in the Presence of Holiness has a profound effect. It changes everything!

The testimony given through Hudson Taylor's life of the Lord's Faithfulness changed me. It caused a hunger for holiness in my spirit. It helped me grow in my walk before the Lord. As the years have passed, the edge has worn off that hunger. I have become more complacent. It's time to read the book again! 

Lord, stir me again. Cause me to hunger for purity and holiness before You. Help me desire Truth in the innermost places. Empty me of self and fill me with Yourself.

Just When I Thought A "Yearly" Exam Couldn't Be Any Worse

I don't care how many children I have had, I will never be comfortable going for my "yearly" exams at the gynecologist! I HATE them. No, that is not vehement enough. Loathe, despise, and abominate is getting a little closer. I put them off for years, at times. Anyway, the year of this story, I had finally made an appointment for my checkup. 

This was the year that Hannah was in 8th grade. We had homeschooled her up through 6th grade, but at the beginning of 7th grade she started at a small private classical school. One of the girls in her class just happened to be the daughter of my ob/gyn. That meant bumping into him at school functions. Oh great! Very awkward! I'm sure it never crossed his mind, but all I could think of was the fact that this man had seen parts of me that I hadn't seen!! Horror of horrors!! This dread was not lessened just because he had delivered a couple of our children, by this time. Mentally, I was simply unable to separate the man from his job.

Anyway, this particular visit was scheduled during the last part of August. Hannah was running cross country and had already started practice even though school had yet to begin. I had scheduled my appointment so that I would make sure to get in and out in time to pick her up after cross country. I dropped her off at the park where they were going to run, then left for my doctor visit. I arrived early so that I would be through in plenty of time.

Well, I waited and waited and waited. I was beginning to get nervous. I knew that if I had to miss this appointment, I might not be able to bring myself to reschedule it for months. They finally called me back to the exam room. It was almost time for Hannah to be finished. I was clad in the lovely little gown they give you, perched precariously on the edge of the table. I had a cell phone, but Hannah didn't.  There was no way to contact her and tell her I might be late. It was so hot that day and I was really worried about her being out there any longer than necessary all by herself. I called Kregg, but he works 20 miles away from where Hannah was, and he couldn't be there in time to pick her up. 

I was just at the point of putting my clothes back on and telling them I would have to reschedule. I had been there over an hour already. At that moment, the doctor walked in. I didn't want to complain, but I told him about Hannah and that I might need to go ahead and leave. He came up with the perfect solution. He said his daughter was there, too, with Hannah. His wife was going to pick his daughter up and he offered to have her pick Hannah up, too. He said I could then pick her up at his house when I was finished.  Very sweet of him to offer. Awkward, but sweet. He said he would give me directions to his house after we finished. He picked up his phone and dialed his wife. She didn't answer. He then said we would just go ahead and get the exam over quickly so I could leave. Well, the "quickly" part suited me just fine.

I assumed the position and he began. At that moment, his phone rang. He looked at the caller ID. It was his wife. He didn't even answer the phone; he just handed it to me and went back to work!!!!!  EEEEKKKK!! 

I promise I knew this woman's name, but I couldn't call it to save my life at that moment!! I answered the phone and stammered and stumbled over every word. I think I told her who I was and where I was. It's kind of a blur. I do remember that she said she would be glad to pick Hannah up for me. I handed the phone back to him. Did that really just happen?? The doctor never missed a beat! What is wrong with this picture? Is it just me or is it too weird that the doctor could be in the middle of conducting my exam while I was talking on his cellphone to his wife?! Maybe I'm too sensitive, but a little "compartmentalization" seems appropriate here! ONE thing at a time!!!

He finished and left the room while I got dressed. I went into his office for the "post exam chat". He went over everything and was about to dismiss me. I had to remind him that I still needed directions to his house. He had completely forgotten!

I walked out of the office in a daze. Now I have to go to his house and see his wife!!! I know these people don't think anything about it, but I have never felt so horrified in all my life! I rang the doorbell and she answered the door. Gracious and hospitable, she welcomed me into their home. Couldn't she just send Hannah out?? No, of course not. I followed her through the house and replied to the small talk, coherently I hope. 

I finally acknowledged the elephant in the room. I mentioned the phone call and said I was sorry I probably sounded a little odd. She started laughing and made some comment about me sitting there "naked as a jay bird" in my little exam gown. I couldn't believe it! I quickly made some excuse to leave and thanked her for picking Hannah up for me.

That was it! I couldn't do it anymore. If I had to see them at school, I couldn't see them "that way." It was time for a new doctor!!

Why I Carry Butterfly Bandages in My Wallet

When Mackenzy was seven months old, we moved from Amarillo to Midland. The week before we were to move into our new house I drove to Fort Worth to visit my family. Kregg had been out of town on business, and so it was just the two little girls and me traveling from Fort Worth back to Midland. It's normally about a five hour drive, but on this day it ended up taking eight hours. Mackenzy started screaming and nothing I did helped. She had developed her very first ear infection. I ended up stopping in a little town and walking into the emergency room of the hospital to find out what was wrong. Little did I know how many times in the next several years she would require medical attention.
The first couple of months in Midland were spent settling in. We worked at getting everything unpacked and organized in the new house. Kregg was learning the ropes in his new position with the company. We had found a church home and met a few of the neighbors. We didn't know anyone in Midland when we moved here, except a family that had been transferred at the same time. I had yet to find a pediatrician for the girls. 
Mackenzy had started walking at 10 months. One day about noon, she tripped and hit her head on the edge of a coffee table. I knew as soon as I saw it that it needed stitches. I tried calling Kregg's office, but he had left for lunch and there was no way to reach him. I called my sweet friend that had moved from Amarillo with us. I thought I was pretty calm, but as soon as she answered the phone she asked me what was wrong.
"Mackenzy just fell and busted her head open and I can't find Kregg!!!!"
She said, "We'll be right there."
I then called the neighbor we had become friends with across the street. Her husband had come home for lunch and he answered the phone. Once again, I thought I was speaking in a normal tone of voice. 
He immediately said, "Anne, what's the matter?"
"Mackenzy just fell and busted her head open!!!!!! I can't take Hannah when we go to the doctor."
He said, "We'll be right over."
My neighbors were at the front door within a couple of minutes. They took Hannah to their house and kept her until I returned. My friend Cindy arrived and we discussed what to do. She suggested a minor emergency clinic she had seen not far from our house. We walked in and asked, over Mackenzy's screaming, if they could do stitches there. The receptionist said that they could help us. I expected them to take us right back, but we had to wait a while. Their sense of urgency did not match my own. 
We were finally shown into a large open area in the back of the clinic. The doctor came in to examine her and told us that it did indeed need stitches. They strapped Mackenzy onto a "papoose board". That did not go over well. She started screaming at the top of her lungs and flailing about. The papoose board was no match for this wiry ten month old baby!  She kept popping the velcro loose on the papoose board!! The doctor and nurses couldn't believe it. My friend and I and two nurses were holding her down while the doctor was trying to stitch her up. It certainly did not help that the cut was right below her eyebrow. He finally was able to put two stitches in and then he said he needed a break. He paced around in circles trying to calm down so he could come back and put the other couple of stitches in. The poor little thing had been screaming so loudly for so long that when she would pause to draw breath, her eyes would roll back in her head. It scared me at first, but then I began to think it would actually be better if she just passed out long enough to finish the stitches.

A few months later, she did it again! She had been jumping on the bed and hit her head on the headboard. She laid open the exact same spot above her other eye! In between these two injuries, we had been to the doctor many, many times. The ear infections came one after another. Our new pediatrician had referred us to an Ear, Nose, and Throat doctor. Someone had told me that when (not if) Mackenzy needed stitches again, to take her to our ENT. As a surgeon, an ENT is very skilled with stitches. I called her office and explained what had happened. They told me to bring her in. The doctor would examine her and either stitch her up there, or take her across the street to the hospital and sedate her before stitching her up. Thankfully, she was able to take care of it in the office. I locked my arms and legs around her and the doctor was done before Mackenzy knew what had happened. Of course the doctor and I were both somewhat deaf afterward from the decibel level of Mackenzy's screaming!

I worried the first few months of seeing our new pediatrician that she would think I was not taking good care of Mackenzy. She always had a big goose egg on her head or a cut or scrape or bruise somewhere. But the doctor had seen enough kids to recognize that this one was just very prone to accidents. She would laugh and ask me what she had done this time. And there was always a story to tell. Kregg and I used to joke about putting her in a bicycle helmet before we got her out of the crib in the morning!
We were in the mall one time and Mackenzy started running. She was looking back over her shoulder running full speed ahead. We were telling her to stop running and she smacked straight into a wall. The force of the collision knocked her flat of her back. She landed with such a thud that the clerks in the store heard it and came rushing out to check on her. One of them had a glass of ice and they took a t-shirt off the shelf, dumped the ice in it and gave it to us to hold on the knot that was forming on her head. 

The ear infections didn't stop and so at about 15 months old, we were scheduled to have tubes put in. Our ENT came out to give us the pre-op speech. When she finished, I sheepishly said to her, "Doctor, you know Mackenzy well enough to understand this request. She has a big splinter in her finger and I was wondering if, while she is sedated, you could take it out. We will pay extra. Kregg and I have not been able to hold her still long enough to remove it."
When the doctor came out after performing the surgery, she gave us her post-op speech. Thankfully, everything had gone well. She then told us, "I took that splinter out of her finger. I went ahead and checked her other fingers, too. She had two more splinters in her other hand, so I removed those as well."
She definitely understood our plight.
The third time she needed stitches, we were at the lake with some friends. Thankfully, one of them was a nurse. We were walking down a little dirt road with Mackenzy toodling along in front of us. All of a sudden, she tripped and fell face first. She bounced her head on a small rock in the road and, you guessed it, cut her head open. It was the only rock anywhere near us! Our nurse friend said that they would stitch it up if we took her in. After her previous traumatic experiences with stitches, and since she told us it wouldn't make a difference in the size of the scar, we decided skip the stitches, clean it out well and close it up with bandaids.

I wish I could say that the majority of the accidents ended with the toddler stage, but that just wasn't the case. She fell off the trampoline and broke her arm. She was running around in circles on the driveway one evening and her feet went out right out from under her. She landed on her mouth and her eye tooth came all the way through her lip. She needed stitches inside and out for that one.
We used to joke and call her the "bag lady" because one of her favorite things to do was to gather up any kind of bag and pack it with whatever she came across. Of course, it was never as much fun to unpack the things and put them away, but she packed them up anyway. One day she had packed everything up and taken her bags outside. We had a golden retriever at that point that was absolutely terrified of thunderstorms.I am convinced that this dog could escape a concrete bunker in a storm; nothing could keep her in her yard. The problem was that when she escaped, she shredded anything she could get hold of.

Hannah, Mackenzy, and Caleb were out in the back yard. Kregg was weeding our garden and I was in the house on the phone helping to plan some church event. Mackenzy had her bags in the yard and was on the swing. Whatever she did, she did with her entire being, so when I say she was swinging, she was going just as high as she possibly could. Completely absorbed in her play, she didn't notice the storm brewing on the horizon. As she reached the very peak of her swing, a clap of thunder boomed overhead. She bailed out of the swing and landed flat on her nose and her hip bones. From inside the house I heard this terrible screeching. I hung up on whoever it was I was talking to and made a mad dash for the back door. By the time I got out on the porch, Mackenzy met me. She had her hands covering her face and blood was dripping off both elbows!!
I was horrified, having no idea what had happened. When she took her hands down from her face, she was already swollen to the point that the bridge of her nose had disappeared! 
Of course, the same clap of thunder that scared Mackenzy also terrified the dog. She had climbed out of her pen and proceeded to tear Mackenzy's bags open. She was running laps around the yard as fast as she could go, shredding things as she ran. To top it all off it began to rain!

The other kids were trying to corral the dog and pick up all the stuff in the yard. Kregg came and helped me get Mackenzy inside. We called the doctor and she told us there was really nothing to do for a broken nose as long as it wasn't just terribly crooked. Ice and ibuprofen and time were the only remedies. Of course, it looked worse before it looked better because both her eyes turned lovely shades of black, green and purple.

We have a good friend who loves to tell this story. He was sitting at an Indian Princess camp out when Kregg pulled up in our van with the girls. He looked at the man sitting next to him and told him that within 60 seconds of the time the door opened on the van, someone would be screaming (meaning Mackenzy). The side door of the van flew open, Mackenzy came flying out and within 5 seconds had fallen and was screaming. The man next to him looked at our friend in shock and asked how on earth he knew that would happen. He just smiled and said, "It happens all the time."

The most recent of Mackenzy's accidents occurred when she had her wisdom teeth taken out. They had her come in fasting for the surgery.  It went well and she was in recovery within an hour. She was pretty loopy when I went back to sit with her. When she was released to leave, the nurse helped me get her in the Suburban. My instructions were to get her a smoothie and have her prescriptions filled. I then took her home, gave her a pain pill and put her to bed. I needed to run to the store, so I left Caleb with her and told him I would be back as quickly as possible, thinking that she would still be asleep.

Caleb called a little while later and told me that Mackenzy had gotten hurt. I came home to find her crying. Caleb said that she had staggered from her room to the kitchen. She was trying to take her next pain pill when she suddenly blacked out and crumpled in a heap on the floor. Thankfully, she didn't hit her head on the edge of the counter. Instead, when she fell, she rolled her foot and landed on it! Caleb scooped her up and carried her to her bed. I took her to the emergency room and it was broken! Of course, it was her right foot and she drives a 5 speed Honda Civic. That meant for the next several weeks, I had to drive her to all her college classes and to work.

A couple of weeks into it, she was walking down the hall at her office on her crutches and her arm slipped. She pulled something in her right forearm and had to be in a splint for a couple of weeks while trying to walk on crutches. You should have seen people's faces when they asked her what on earth had happened, meaning the cast and splint and crutches, and she answered, "I had my wisdom teeth removed."

That is why I carry butterfly bandages in my wallet!!

A Father's Heart for His Daughter

As I go through life in the role of motherhood, I have often said (after hearing someone else say it) that having a child is like your heart walking around outside your body. There is nothing that makes you more vulnerable than loving these little agents of free will. Parenting can take you from the highest heights to the deepest depths in the span of a few minutes. Of all the ways I could choose to spend my time, no other calling carries with it the potential for so much eternal fruit. Through the Lord's wisdom and guidance our children can change the world and the fruit of their lives will ripple out into eternity.

We have been working at this job for over two decades, and  I still feel like a rookie on too many levels. That is not because the Lord hasn't tried to give me all the wisdom and guidance I have needed. It is because I  have not always been willing to receive it. When He has gotten it through my thick skull, the Truths He has taught me have always borne fruit in our lives. When I allow Him to raise and train them through me, the results are marvelous to behold. There are those times that you catch a glimpse of His Glory displayed in the life of your child, and it leaves you breathless and in absolute awe. 

In May of this year, our oldest child became a wife! We "finished the race" as her parents. We now have a wonderful new son-in-law named Jeremiah! Hannah has moved out from under our authority and is now under the authority of her husband. Our new role is one of supporting them when they seek our counsel. This change of relationship brings with it the end of a long and fruitful season that we thoroughly enjoyed. It is a precious thing to have reached this milestone as parents. The transition, however, has not been without pain. But that pain is received with thankfulness because the Lord has, once again, shown Himself Faithful and Mighty. As much as we miss having her with us on a daily basis, we know that this is the next step in her maturation as His child.

We wanted their wedding to be a celebration of the joy we felt in being able to launch her into this new stage of life. All the planning, expense and work that went into the wedding was simply a way for us to say, "We are so thankful and proud of you two!!!"

She decided to have the wedding in Bandera. We own some land there and it's a quaint little Hill Country town; exactly what she wanted. There is a beautiful old stone Methodist Church in town, and they just happened to have the date open. The reception was to be held at the clubhouse in the development where we own our land. It's an old Texas ranch house surrounded by gorgeous lawns and giant trees.

Jeremiah's family hosted the rehearsal dinner at Busby's BBQ on Bandera's "main drag". The dinner was great fun filled with hilarious stories and heartfelt tributes. It was precious because we were all there for the common purpose of expressing our love for Hannah and Jeremiah. What a blessing! The hardest part of the whole evening was when Kregg "said his piece."
The year Hannah turned 14, she had given her daddy a special gift for Father's Day. She wrote him a beautiful letter telling him that she had committed before the Lord to entrust her daddy with her heart until the Lord brought the man she was to marry. Along with the letter, she presented to him a tiny little key charm that had a heart cut out of it. She told him it represented the key to her heart and she wanted him to keep and protect it until he could give it, with his blessing, to her husband. He had worn it on a chain next to his heart all of these years. 

Jeremiah had no idea what was coming when Kregg stood up at the dinner that night and asked him to come stand beside him. Kregg then proceeded to tell the story behind the charm. He was weeping, I was weeping, Hannah was weeping. Almost everyone in the entire restaurant had at least teared up. It was excruciatingly painful and so very glorious all at the same time. This was really the culmination of his role as father to this precious daughter whom God had entrusted to him. He was passing the baton.

The day of the wedding dawned bright and sunny. Our families and friends were all helping in every possible way to get our list of "to do's" done. We were up to our eyeballs in hydrangeas and candles, organza and candy. What a blessing it was to have so many who were willing to come ask, "What can I do?" They have a special place of gratitude in our hearts for helping us make that day so special.  

The Hill Country was experiencing a brutal drought and so we were not expecting what happened next. At exactly 7 pm a violent thunderstorm formed right over Bandera. I was concerned about the reception because we had planned to seat lots of people outside with candles and paper lanterns and twinkle lights. We started the ceremony. Everyone and everything looked perfect. Jeremiah had written a song that his friend played as Hannah and Kregg came down the isle. Just a few minutes into the ceremony, there was a huge clap of thunder and the electricity went off!! Now, I had tried to come up with contingencies for all kinds of scenarios, but that one never even entered my mind. And to top it off, the big, beautiful grand piano was electric!! No more music! Needless to say, it was rather awkward and we were basically in shock. The ceremony was, as a result, very short. I must say, though, that the bride and groom handled it with a calm grace and dignity that made us very proud of them. 


As Kregg and I left the ceremony, we were holding our breaths, wondering what would happen when we pulled up to the security gate at the reception venue. Would it open? What if the power was off?? How would people get into the reception? What was "Plan B"? There was no "Plan B"!! Thankfully, there was still electricity. The people we had hired to work the reception, along with one very special angel who stayed behind to make sure everything was taken care of, were able to squeeze all the tables that had been on the patio into the house. It was tight, but at least it was dry. Things weren't quite ready because we weren't supposed to arrive for another half hour. But we made the best of it.

The thunderstorm ended as abruptly as it had began. The clouds cleared and the sky was the most beautiful color of sapphire blue. People spilled out onto the stone patio and Kregg got to have his father/daughter dance with the gorgeous bride. It was bittersweet as he handed her off again to her beaming husband. 

 

They left the reception to an enthusiastic crowd lining the stone walkway and waving sparklers. As the limo pulled away, Kregg's heart broke. He followed the limo to the end of the long driveway and watched them leave. He suddenly felt the overwhelming sense of "things left unsaid." He stood alone and wept at the end of the long, dark driveway. Things were, from that moment on, forever changed. Can you ever really know how you will react in a given situation?  Especially one completely new and so very dear to your heart. As happy as he was for Hannah and Jeremiah, his little girl was gone. He suffered greatly; and he prayed. As always, the Lord's Faithfulness saw him through his grief and slowly pieced together his "father heart" over the next several days.

We have all settled into our new roles and adjusted to the changes. Jeremiah and Hannah are so adorable and Lubbock is only two hours away. It sure makes it easier knowing we can be there in a couple of hours if they need us. Kregg loves to help her with any little thing she asks. Once again, our Heavenly Father has proven Himself Faithful. He provided a godly young man to love and cherish our precious Hannah. It is exactly what we have prayed for since before she was born. 

Being a parent is the "toughest job you'll ever love", to borrow a phrase. If done well, it costs you dearly. My wonderful husband has done it well and it only cost him his heart.

*The beautiful pictures with this post were taken by Kayla Barker of Spink Studio. She traveled with us to Bandera and preserved all these precious memories for us!

"Big Sister Mackenzy"

When Caleb was born, Hannah was 4 and Mackenzy was 2. Both the girls had been rather unpleasant babies. (Sorry, girls, but it's the truth.) Hannah screamed for the first 7 months of life--no it wasn't colic, she was just very stubborn. Mackenzy slept for the first 3 weeks of life and I was lulled into a false sense of tranquility. At 3 1/2 weeks, she woke up and made up for lost time. She needed stitches three times before she turned 2 years old and I still carry butterfly bandages in my wallet in her honor--just in case! But that is a story for another day.

I explain all that to preface this: when we found out we were expecting Mr. Caleb, I made a request of the Lord. "Lord, I don't care if this is a boy or a girl. Please help it to be healthy. And can this one PLEASE be calm??"

Caleb was indeed a contended, happy little feller. He just smiled and ate and slept. He was rather round and his head was the size of a bowling ball. Okay, that may be a slight exaggeration. It was more like a cassava melon. Anyway, he was just as cute as he could be and we really enjoyed him being such a good baby. Having lived through the first few years with the girls, our gratitude for his good nature was sincere.

Hannah and Mackenzy were very attentive big sisters. They loved to help take care of their new brother. We realized quickly that their judgment needed some guidance. We caught Mackenzy trying to carry Caleb around when he was just a few months old. He wasn't sitting up yet and so she just grabbed him under the arms and picked him up. She was only two and so his feet were almost dragging on the ground. I told her that she could not pick him up, she would have to let me do that.

One day as I was holding him I noticed a large sore at the back of his head. I was shocked! I couldn't figure out how on earth he could have hurt himself! It looked horrible. By the next day it had formed a nasty looking scab. I was completely clueless. How could this have happened without me knowing about it??

The mystery was solved the next day. I had put him on a blanket in the den where I could watch him while I worked in the kitchen. I was working on the dishes when I glanced up and noticed that Mackenzy had come in to play with him. She didn't know I was watching her, although I doubt it would have mattered. She reached down and grabbed his little ankles and started pulling him across the carpet! I ran in the den and asked her what she was doing. 

She said, "I want him to come play in my room and you told me not to pick him up."
The poor little guy had a giant carpet burn on the back of his head!!!  OUCH!!

The Lawn Mower Man

My sweet husband has been teased for years about the tale I am about to tell. He made me promise to let him approve it before I let the world read it and I have honored that request.  It's such a great story, it really does deserve a broader audience.


Kregg grew up outside Abilene, Texas on two and a half acres. His family are all hard workers that can turn their hand to just about any task. When things needed to be done, they just took care of it. If they didn't know how, they would find out. They are still like that.


When we got married, we followed the same game plan. If something needed to be repaired or built or whatever, we would just take care of it. Our first little house had plumbing problems, so Kregg just dug it all up and fixed the mess. It never crossed our minds that there needed to be a permit or an inspection to tie into the main in the alley. Out in the country, you just took care of it. So he just took care of it. He did a great job, too. Dug a 60 foot trench, replaced all the sewer pipe making sure he had the grade just right, connected it to the main line and covered it all back up. Never gave us another bit of trouble. 


He taught himself to build furniture, too.  We had a little one car garage that he used for his projects. He built everything from cooling racks for the kitchen to a baby bed for each of our babies. I could just tear a picture out of a magazine and he would build it. It really is amazing. 

Anyway, the point I am trying to make is he is a man who analyzes a problem, comes up with a solution, and then carries it out. He doesn't think anything about it, that's just what a man does. 


When we moved to the house we have lived in for the last 16 years, we had to make a few adjustments. Our yard is one acre. The first season or two of mowing, we managed with a push mower. In fact, I remember carrying Caleb around on my shoulders when he was a baby while I mowed the yard. He would sit on my shoulders and I would hold both his ankles in one hand while I pushed the mower with the other. Sure glad he was smaller then!


When we could afford it, we decided to buy a riding lawnmower. Kregg researched the different models, asked his dad's advice, and picked out the one he wanted. It was at Walmart. We went to look at it after church one Sunday morning and he decided to just go ahead and buy it. We didn't own a truck or trailer at that point and so I asked him how we would get it home. Silly question, Anne.  He said, "I'll just drive it home." 


At that time, Walmart was about 4 miles from our house. (They have since built one just 2 1/2 miles away.) He bought a gas can, went across the street to get some gas, came back and filled the thing up. My job was to take the kids home, feed them their lunch, and get them down for their naps. He would be there in a little while. I was a little concerned, but knew he would figure out a way to take care of it. Of course, this was also before we had cell phones. So I left him at Walmart as he prepared to embark on his journey. 


I didn't get really worried for a while, but after an hour and a half, I began to wonder where he was. The babies were asleep so I couldn't go find him. I was supposed to be helping with a baby shower and it was getting close to the time I needed to leave. I kept thinking that any minute I would hear him coming. I finally hopped in the car and drove to the end of the street to see if I could see him coming. Sure enough, there he was. It ended up being about two hours after I left him at Walmart that he finally pulled into the driveway. No big deal, right?


Well, for the next two to three weeks I had the same strange thing happen over and over and over again. A friend would come up to me with a sheepish look on their face and hesitantly say, "Anne, was Kregg driving a . . . riding lawnmower the other day?" Followed by an awkward pause. "We were on Mockingbird/Midkiff/Midland/Briarwood/etc. street and we saw someone who looked just like Kregg, in his church clothes on a riding lawnmower."


Of course, I would start laughing again and explain why they had indeed seen my husband out for a Sunday afternoon drive on our brand new, bright red, riding lawnmower.

The Lord Gives and the Lord Takes Away, Blessed Be the Name of the Lord

This is when we were first introduced to our new sons.

Our trip to bring Josh and Ben home was quite an adventure.  The logistics leading up to our actual departure are now mind numbing to recall. The Lord is so very Faithful to walk us through anything He asks us to do. But from this perspective looking back, it is truly amazing to realize how perfectly all the pieces of this massive jigsaw puzzle fit together.

When the Lord told us to adopt these little guys, he gave us a clear path to follow. That was so Merciful of Him, because 2004 was a really tough year. We were in the middle of remodeling our house, we already had five kids to take care of, there is a mountain of paperwork required for an international adoption, and my mom died.

Mom had been sick with Alzheimer's for several years. Dad had taken care of her as her condition worsened, but when she quit sleeping at night, he needed help. He had always said he would never put her in a care facility, but at one point toward the end of 2003, the Lord prompted me to start doing research into potential options. I didn't say anything to any of my siblings, at first, or to Dad. I just started making calls and searching online. I wasn't sure what I was looking for, but I just needed to know what was out there.

When Dad finally said that things were not working, I broached the subject. I went to Ft. Worth and, with two of my sisters, visited the places I had kept on the list of possiblities.
Nothing worked. None of the places could make all the pieces fit.

I went home and was crying out to the Lord for direction. "What do I do, Lord?"

"Midland", He said.

I sat in stunned disbelief. Dad would never pick up and move to Midland.

Of course, I immediately started looking in Midland. All the doors flew open. My first choice here had an opening and they could take Mom. Of course, the Lord had already provided everything I needed. I called Dad to broach the subject. He said, "Okay. I'll come." Yes, my jaw did actually hit the floor.

At that point, the flood of "to do's" started. There were several legal matters that needed to be arranged: Powers of Attorney, Medical Powers of Attorney, bank accounts, etc. There were lots of medical things, too. I had to find her a doctor here and get all the paperwork filled out, transfer all of her records, figure out all the insurance issues. We also needed a place for Dad to live. The Lord provided a nice little apartment right down the street from where Mom would be staying. It was perfect.
 
It was February of 2004, when everything was arranged. I drove to Fort Worth and brought Mom back to Midland. The Lord surrounded us with a host of angels as we traveled. There were so many questions that I just didn't have answers for. He Faithfully guided me through. Mom was very confused and there was nothing I could do but pray. We spent the night in a hotel in Midland that night because our house was not safe for her.

At one point that evening, I had gotten her to bed and she was actually sleeping. I thought that if I could just jump in the shower for two minutes, I would have a much better outlook on life. Thankfully, I heard the door to the hall open. Even though I had locked everything on the door, Mom had gotten it opened. She was in the hall and was not planning to come back in the room. Wrapped in a towel, I finally got her back inside. I was shaking all over. What if I hadn't heard the door? What if I hadn't been able to get her back in the room?  I moved furniture to block the door, but had to watch her the whole time.

The next morning we drove to her new home. It is a beautiful place and the staff were very helpful and gentle. It was so clean and bright and cheerful. They had special things every day for the patients to participate in. But it was still one of the hardest things I have ever done. It was all I could do to finally walk out the door and leave her there. The tears are flowing again as I remember. If there had been any other way . . .

Several days later, my brother and sister-in-law brought Dad to Midland. He was going to keep the house in Fort Worth, so he only brought what he needed for the apartment. Our Care Group from church came and helped us move him in. Everything went like clockwork. It was all just a miracle. There is no other explanation.


Dad would spend everyday with Mom. He took very good care of her and did everything he could to help her. I know it was hard on them, but they handled it all very well. We visited them often. Mom's sisters even made a long bus trip to come and see her. We had a grand time! We hated to see them leave. Had it been up to us, they would still be here!!  We made such wonderful memories in those few days. That time we had together was a special gift from the Lord. He knew what lay ahead.


Mom moved to Midland toward the end of February. Toward the end of July, I received a phone call in the middle of the night. They called to tell me that an ambulance was on the way to pick Mom up and take her to the hospital. She had contracted an infection and because the symptoms were somewhat masked by the Alzheimer's, it was very serious by the time it was caught. She was septic by the time she was admitted to the hospital. Standing in the emergency room, I knew in my heart that she would never leave the hospital.


They fought the infection very aggressively, but after a few days, she was moved to the Hospice floor of the hospital. When they moved her to her new room, I somehow ended up in the room alone with her for a few minutes. She had not really been alert for several days prior to this, but when I leaned over her bed, she opened her eyes and I knew she was "there." I stroked her hair and told her I loved her. She said, "I love you, too." That was the last thing she ever said to me.


My sister and I would stay the nights and Dad would be there during the day. After several days, my sister had to go home. I didn't know what we were going to do because we were scheduled to leave for Russia for the adoption in just a few days. You can't just reschedule a court date and a visa and your embassy appointments. I knew I couldn't leave with her in the hospital. I kept praying, but He had already provided a way.


One morning, I had just been home from the hospital for about an hour when Dad called and told me she was gone. As hard as it was to say goodbye, I was so happy that she was finally free and whole and in His Presence.


Once again, the Lord put all the pieces together. We packed up Dad's apartment, with the help of our Care Group, and drove him and his stuff back to Fort Worth for Mom's funeral. It was a precious celebration of a life well lived. We were surrounded by people who loved her and us. There are no words that can express the ministry of mourning with those who mourn. To have loved ones touch your heart as you sorrow leaves a mark on your spirit forever. It's a precious bond that transcends any other aspect of a relationship.
We returned to Midland and prepared to leave for Russia.


Before Mom had entered the hospital, we had almost finished tiling the den. It was the last part of the remodeling we needed to complete before we left to get the boys. We knew that once we brought them home, we would be in a very intense season of adjustment. There wouldn't be time for tiling for a while. We were laying slate tile which has to be sealed after it is grouted. I had sealed the same tile in the halls and study, but when we finally finished tiling the den and I put the sealer on, I put it on too thick. It dried milky instead of clear. It was a complete disaster. I called a flooring place to ask advice and they told me I would have to remove the sealer and redo it. I rented a big buffer and put a very abrasive pad on it, but it just could not get the sealer off. I called another place and they offered to have someone come look at it. He came and told me that he would take care of it. I think he sensed my desperation.


The next day, he brought a crew to my house. They spent all day on their hands and knees working to remove that sealer. They finally got enough off to be able to reapply a different sealer and be finished with it! I almost wept. I couldn't "gush" enough telling them how much I appreciated them. I told them they were an answer to my prayers.
Anyway, we finally left for Russia. We had dotted the last "i" and crossed the last "t" on all the preliminary forms. Every page that went to Russia had to be notarized and then sent to Austin to be "apostilled" (notarizing the notary). We were required to take $14,000 dollars in new bills to complete the adoption. We hid it under our clothing. No, there was nothing illegal about it. This was just what Russia required. In addition to the cash and paperwork, we also had to take gifts for lots of different people. There were gifts for the school board members, gifts for the court officials, gifts for the orphanage staff, gifts for the children. It was pretty overwhelming. Not to mention, we had to take everything the boys needed to come home. The orphanage couldn't spare anything, not even their underwear.


Kregg's Dad came to stay with the five kids we were leaving behind. We flew from Midland to Dallas, from Dallas to New York, and from New York to Moscow. We spent a few days in Moscow to do part of the embassy work. We also got to spend a day sightseeing. Our precious adoption agent, whom we never even met, had a hand-picked person to guide us through each stage of our journey. They would meet us at our hotel and take us wherever we had to go. It's a good thing, too, because the subway in Moscow is not for the faint of heart.

We flew into Magadan on a Thursday morning and our facilitator met us at the airport. She took us to the orphanage to meet the boys. You just can't imagine the conditions in Magadan. It was like stepping back in time. When we arrived at the orphanage, we were shown into a little room. Sergey and Oleg Naumov were brought in and introduced to us. The picture at the very top of this post is from that moment. Of course, everyone was shy and it was kind of awkward, but that didn't matter. We got to spend a couple of hours with them that afternoon. Our facilitator went with us and interpreted. We saw the sights of Magadan. Quite a story there: Magadan was the headquarters of Stalin's Siberian Gulag. Prisoners were brought there by rail or ship to work in the silver mines. Most of them never came out. Stalin made Hitler look like a schoolboy.


That evening, after we dropped the boys off, we went to the home of our facilitator to be prepped for court the next morning. She told us what we could and couldn't say. She helped us understand what to expect.


On our way to court, our facilitator told us we needed to give someone a ride. We stopped and picked up a woman dressed in a military uniform. We didn't really know who she was, but we tried to be friendly. As the proceedings began, we were a little nervous in our souls, but our spirits were at peace. Kregg talked for a while, pausing for translation. He began talking about our children. He went through the list of their names and  birthdays. I was thinking, "Why is he telling all their birthdays?" I would find out later. The main issue that we were questioned about was the number of children we already had and why we wanted two more. We tried to help them understand our motivation for adding to our family. The judge was satisfied and approved the adoption. After only an hour, we had grown to a family of nine!!

After the proceedings ended, the woman we had given a ride to came up and asked me if there were any more men like my husband in America. She asked if I would please send them to Russia. She explained that in Russia, a good husband is one who doesn't drink "too" much or beat you "too" often. She couldn't imagine a father who cared so much about his children that he could actually recite all their birthdays!! Unbelievable. We were later told by our facilitator that this was the one woman we had to worry about. If anyone was going to make trouble for us it would have been her. The Lord moves in mysterious ways. I'm glad I didn't know that before court.


We got to spend a couple more hours with the boys that afternoon. Now they were ours! The next morning, our facilitator took us to the airport with the boys. She waited until the last minute before putting us on the plane and said this, "I need to tell you something. When you get on the plane, it will become obvious very quickly that you are foreigners adopting these boys. You may get lots of really mean looks."


"Why?!!!" I asked.


She replied, "There have been rumors that you people come over here to adopt children only to take them back so they can be used as organ donors."


We were in shock. Here we were about to board a plane with 300 Russian speaking people for an 8 hour flight across 8 time zones and they were all going to think this??? Not to mention, we had two little boys we didn't know who only spoke Russian. At this point, we had only spent a total of about 5 hours with them and it had all been in the presence of a translator. Needless to say, we PRAYED.


We nervously boarded the flight, packed in like sardines. She was right, it wasn't long before our fellow passengers realized why we had been in Magadan. But instead of hostile, angry looks, there were only smiles. Every time a meal was served, extra food from those sitting around us was handed between the seats. People wanted to share their food with the boys. They would give us the food and point to the boys and smile. Beautiful smiles that communicated what no words could. He is our Protector.


There was so much more that happened on the trip, I could go on forever, but one common thread wove it all together: The Lord was with us. He provided everything we needed before we knew we needed it.

We landed in New York City and went through Immigration. The boys were now American citizens! We landed in Dallas and were met by lots of family members. Kregg's brother and sister in law brought the boys their first cowboy hats. My sister's family and my brother's family brought presents, too. Dad was there to meet his new grandsons. It was wonderful.

Meeting their new family and friends at the airport in Midland

Finally, we made it back to Midland. It had only been 10 days since we left, but it seemed like forever. We were greeted at the airport by a whole room full of friends and family with banners and balloons and presents and hugs.

And that is how we became parents to two little boys from far eastern Siberia!!! Oleg is now Benjamin Oleg Conder and Sergey is now Joshua Sergey Conder. Wonder what the Lord has planned for them as they grow up? Must be something amazing!!