The Battle for the Imaginations of Our Children

This was drawn by "youngest" years ago

As those created in the Image of our Creator, creativity is at the core of our beings. Endowed with the incredible tool of imagination, man has been "creating" from the beginning. Intended for His Glory, our ability to imagine and create should be used to accomplish His Purposes through us. Is it any wonder the evil one has our imaginations in his wicked cross-hairs? Our enemy would love to hijack, for his own purposes, a Gift that is intended to be used in Holiness. 


So how do we thwart his efforts?


How do we protect the imaginations of our children?


Are we not the "guardians at the gate?"


No doubt, you remember your amazement when your young child came up with some incredibly fanciful idea or story or drawing. Watching their young minds at work is truly a humbling experience, because we recognize the potential contained in the gift of imagination. 


Is it any wonder there are so many attempts to capture the imaginations of our children? Attempts that do not have holiness at their core? Think of all the books and cartoons and movies and video games and regular games and apps for phones, and the list goes on forever, that try to capture the imagination of your children. Or even of yourself? 


Have you ever wondered why?


Have you ever wondered why millions and millions of dollars are spent creating things to sweep us up and away on flights of fancy? Have you ever considered just how many hours people in the United States spend each week allowing someone else to direct the course of their thoughts, strictly for "entertainment purposes?"


I'm going to spout off here, from my personal view of the world as I see it in black-and-white: I don't really believe anything is neutral. Either something is worth our time, or it isn't. Since time is our most valuable resource, the choice of how to spend it is of importance. Sure, there is value in relaxing. But we can't use the need to relax as an excuse to allow anything into our minds that isn't going to bless us in our walk with the Lord. 


We are choosing.


Whether we recognize it or not, we are choosing what captures our imaginations. Many people will argue that they aren't affected by watching something on television that they would never "live out themselves." But we must not be deceived. What we allow into our minds does affect our minds. 


As parents, what does this say about our responsibility to train our children in the use of their imaginations?


Their imaginations are always active. 


Are we offering them wholesome, encouraging, uplifting fuel for the insatiable appetites of their minds?


Their imaginations will be captured by something?


Are we being intentional about what that something is?


Do you know what your children are reading? Listening to? Spending time on? 


What is the value system of those who have created whatever it is that your child is fascinated by?


Our value system is reflected in what we create. 


If our children are reading, watching, absorbing things created by people who do not seek to glorify the Lord, is that truly what's best for our children? Especially when they are young, and their value system is still in the process of being formed? Especially when they do not yet have the spiritual discernment to recognize the schemes of the enemy that may be disguised in a book or game?


As parents, the Holy Spirit offers us the help we need to discern what is best for our children. All we have to do is ask and then be willing to allow Him to reveal Truth to us. 


There is SO much great stuff out there to capture the imaginations of your children. Of course, books are some of our favorite resources. And with the growth of homeschooling, many materials are becoming available again that have been out of print for decades. There is a wealth of historical fiction from a Christian worldview that is filled with adventure and truth and will capture the imaginations of your children. Biographies of great men and women are treasures that will bless the whole family. There is an incredible power in watching how people walk out their faith. 


Even if we haven't realized how easily worthless or even ungodly influences can creep into our home, the Lord will help us weed out and replace things with better choices. And, our children will acquire a "taste" for truly worthwhile things. That doesn't mean that our vigilance will not always be required, but it does mean that it will get easier as our "tastes" improve.


Our imaginations are intended to bring Him Glory. May we feed them properly.

Setting Healthy Boundaries in Homeschooling

Homeschooling has many advantages that we love. Creating the most productive, constructive, creative, conducive atmosphere in our homes to accomplish our goals is a process. It will become easier, with time, as long as we stay focused on our objectives. Giving yourself permission to move steadily toward that goal keeps you from becoming frustrated by unrealistic expectations. 


One lesson that has been learned here over the years is the need to set appropriate boundaries. Having us all together all the time, the kids can become very used to having unrestricted access to mom. There are times, however, when mom needs time alone and uninterrupted. Our kids need to learn, from an early age that they can practice patience when mom needs a few minutes to compose herself, or pray, or just to go to the bathroom alone. 


The specific amount of time the children should be expected to give us will increase as they grow and mature, but it is good for them to start with the proper understanding of their responsibility to be independent for an age-appropriate period of time. Moms need a few minutes here and there and our children can learn to bless us by allowing us some space.


If we allow the kids to ask us anything at anytime, all day everyday, they can actually become too dependent on us for things they should be learning to take care of themselves. We need to explain to them that we are doing this for their good so that they learn to honor us and to work at things on their own. It's a good thing for them to see us spending time working on things that require our full and undivided attention. If they truly need us, then we stop what we are doing and are readily available. But I find that, especially with our youngest, she will keep up a conversation with me all day from morning to night about anything and everything that pops into her head. And believe me, her mind is in overdrive 24/7. Being an introvert, I really need a few minutes here and there throughout the day to simply not have to answer any questions. 


You have probably witnessed the results of children who have unlimited, unrestricted access to their parents anytime something pops into their little head that they want to say or share or ask. They can get to the point where they treat their parents almost like a peer, an equal, or in extreme cases: a servant. They believe that whatever is on their mind is the most important thing in the world at that moment. Parents can mistakenly believe they must respond anytime their child wants to engage them. Homeschooling moms can be especially susceptible to this, and from the best of intentions. 


Yes, we want to provide a rich and stimulating environment that challenges the developing minds of our children/students. To be balanced, however, they need to be taught to value times of quiet and solitude. Those extended periods of time where they engage their minds in big thoughts are so fruitful. And then when the time does come to re-engage in discussions with mom, the discussions are often more energized because of the boundary that was observed.


I haven't always understood this principle. In the early years, I didn't know it was okay to set this boundary. Not just okay, but wise. So if any of you can learn from my mistakes instead of having to learn on your own, then I would love to give you permission to say, "Mom needs a time out." :)

The Essential Nature of Humility in Parenting

As we all seek to raise our children in the nurture and admonition of the Lord, the posture of our hearts is of critical importance.


As our babies begin to grow up and exert their "free will," the need for discipline becomes obvious. If we are wise, we will approach discipline with a humility of spirit. If we recognize our position as a sinner saved by Grace before a Holy God, we will be well equipped to provide proper, positive discipline for our kiddos. 


Instead of growing angry because of their wrong choices, we will be able to speak Truth to them in Love for the purpose of conviction that moves them to repentance and restoration to a right relationship with us, and through honoring us, with Him. 


Without proper humility, this is impossible. Discipline doled out from an attitude of pride will not have the same impact. When I harbor pride in my heart, I am thinking of myself. I am irritated that my children are not abiding by my wishes. I am embarrassed because I believe their poor behavior reflects badly on me. I am frustrated that my expectations have not been met.


When discipline is administered in pride, it can provoke a poor response in them. They sense in their spirits that I am the one offended and, since they know first hand that I am a sinner, they can feel justified in their hearts for a sinful response to my wrong motives. This doesn't excuse them. But it is my responsibility, as a parent, to model for them the proper relationship to authority. When I do, they receive discipline from me differently.


When parenting from a humble heart, the grief felt over our children not living up to the Lord's Expectations is recognized by their spirit. They come to understand that they are responsible to the Lord for their obedience and that we, as parents, are simply the Lord's "agents" to help teach them to walk humbly before their God. 


Walking in humility of spirit before God requires parents to follow the Biblical admonition to keep a clear conscience before Him. So when I sin before my children, I need to confess my wrong choice and ask their forgiveness for setting a poor example for them. Our integrity is essential. Our children know if we are "walking our talk." If we hold them to a different standard than we hold ourselves to, they know that. Yes, they are still responsible for choosing well, but my influence with them is damaged.


Humility in parenting does not in any way mean you are lax in your requirement that their obedience is instant, cheerful, and complete. In fact, there is actually more "power" in the gentle and quiet condition of your spirit when you are truly humble before the Lord as you lead your children to Him through your daily example, than there is in screaming, ranting, or raving at them.


I haven't always done this well. I am so thankful He continues to teach me how to be a better parent. I am so thankful He redeems all the times I haven't disciplined in Love.

Trebuchet Triumph

I learned something this week about my youngest son, Ben. And, I must say, it is a "game changer."


Background first. 


Thirty six hours after we met Josh (Sergey) and Ben (Oleg), they were our adopted sons and we were about to leave the orphanage in Magadan in far eastern Siberia. The orphanage director was giving us a brief, as in two sentence, summary of the character of these two little guys, who now shared our name but whom we didn't know at all. 

She explained how Joshua was like Cinderella, willing to work as hard as he could just so someone would love him.  Then she said Ben believed he was a prince and could get away with anything if he would just smile big enough.


YIKES!


When we got home, we learned just how astute her summary had been. 


Ben didn't want to do anything that he deemed "too hard." At first, that encompassed almost everything. 


I remember getting out the Duplo blocks (giant sized Legos) for the boys to play with because they would be easily understood without a language barrier. He was six years old, but he sat in the middle of the family room floor with a block in his hand, crying like a baby and sliding the block across the building base over and over and over again. It was too hard. He wanted someone to build it for him. Needless to say, he did not get what he wanted. Life, as he had known it, was over.


He wasn't planning to learn English, either. He was going to continue speaking Russian and have Joshua serve as his translator for the rest of his life. You think I'm joking? Nope. 


When we were able to begin their schooling, it was the same story. Everything was simply too hard. He didn't want to put forth any effort and he fought every step of progress we made. It has basically been the equivalent of dragging him along. For seven years. Granted, school is hard for him. And there are things he will probably never be good at--that's okay, as long as he does his best.


We required the kids to learn their math facts before they could start our math curriculum. Guess who learned them last? Yup! That's right. No matter what we tried, they just wouldn't stick. We tried flash cards, drills, worksheets, manipulatives, rewards. IT TOOK YEARS! And there was NO progress! I began to think that maybe he was just not able to learn them. Finally, I figured out that he was bluffing. 


We were planning one of our epic road trips and the cousins were coming along with us. The kids LOVE traveling with cousins. Everyone rides with everyone else and the miles just melt away. Knowing how much he was looking forward to that, I told Ben that if he did not learn his math facts by the time we left on our trip, he would be required to ride the entire 4600 miles in our vehicle working on his flash cards. And I was dead serious. A week later? He knew all his facts: addition, subtraction, multiplication and division! Now, without constant drill, they still aren't automatic. In fact, he has to stop and calculate almost everyone of them while working his problems. We may very well be dealing with some fetal alcohol syndrome, but he still has to learn to do his very best at every job he's given.


Fast forward to the past couple of weeks. 


Our little group of young people at church have been in a great study on Sunday nights. As part of the study, they completed a spiritual gift assessment. Of course, the accuracy of the results depends a great deal on understanding the questions and so we tried to explain any terms with which they were unfamiliar. 


Interestingly, the area Ben scored highest in was craftsmanship. Hmmm . . . Didn't really fit with what we had seen for the past 7 years, but we felt we needed to simply wait and see.


We didn't have long to wait.


As we prepare for the arrival of the cousins and the commencement of festivities in celebration of Thanksgiving, we thought having our own little "punkin chunkin" experiments would be great fun as a group activity. I ordered two trebuchet kits of very different design so the kids could learn about the physics involved in the different models. How difficult could it be to build them? They're only two or three feet tall, after all. We could add their construction to our already formidable list of preparations to be made. No problem.

When the box arrived, I wondered what on earth I had gotten myself into! These are the parts for just one of them!

This is the first one, completed.

And here is number two!


And guess who became completely and thoroughly engrossed?! Guess who took the very complicated instructions and read large parts of it himself and assembled complete sections without any help? The same young man who has absolute FITS with word problems in math! He was amazing! 


Not only did I see something completely new in him, so did he! It was so precious. He realized that he could do this. Even though it had many intricate steps and pieces, he understood what to do and how to do it! You should have seen his face! There was a new maturity and confidence in him that gives me such hope. 


He said, "Well you know, Mom, it is one of my Gifts." 


A switch flipped.


I think this will be one of those serendipity moments in his life that he will always be able to look back on and recognize that everything changed for him while building trebuchets.


Thank You, LORD!!

Providing a Framework for Young Hearts

As parents who love the Lord, we all desire our children to grow up into godly men and women who will honor Him and bring Him great Glory through the way they walk this earth. Admittedly, that goal is a lofty one. In fact, it can seem completely unattainable as we wrestle with the sin nature that rears it's ugly head sooner than we could have ever dreamed possible in our precious little darlings. 


And yet, as we read biographies of great men and women of God, we have testimony that it is indeed possible for these little "sinners" to grow up to be true reflections of Christ. But, how do we get there from here??! 


I must confess right up here at the front that I DON'T KNOW! I am still learning so much! But He has taught me so much! And some of that is what I hope to share here.


I remember going through LaMaze classes while expecting our first born. The labor and delivery went so fast! And there she was! Our precious Hannah, sent to us from above. I was in Love. And as the adrenaline continued to course through my veins, I remember walking around my hospital room unpacking and straightening things up after they brought me back to my room, while awaiting her arrival from the nursery where they were doing their initial screenings, etc.  And when the door swung open, an older nurse wheeled the little bassinet into my room while I beamed. 


Then the nurse spoke, "Honey, you are gonna have to sit on this child!"


To say I was a little taken aback would be a major understatement. I was outright offended. How dare she! 


Hahaha! I was so naive!! She knew exactly what she was talking about!! That very experienced nurse had seen enough babies that she pegged mine as incredibly strong willed from her first appearance in the hospital nursery. I had NO idea what I was in for! As we arrived at home, unlocked the door and made our way inside, we set her little carseat down in the middle of the living room floor. 


It was at that exact moment I had this overwhelming sense of panic well up inside me as my heart was screaming, "WHAT NOW??!!! WHAT ON EARTH DO I DO WITH HER NOW?" They had taught me all about birthing her, which seemed at the time so very important. But now what?? No one told me what to do next?


Well, I am happy to say that the Lord was and is Faithful! He took us from that point and Faithfully walked by our side, teaching us how to raise our children. I truly mean it when I say that I have probably gotten more wrong than right since that September day in 1987. And the reason I say that is not to be self deprecating, but to testify to His Sufficiency. I, who knew NOTHING about how to raise children, now have children who love the Lord and seek to spend their lives serving Him. So be assured that you, too, can reach your goal of having godly children. 


When Brandee asked me to write this post, she said she was looking for words that focused specifically on training our children to follow His Principles, and in so doing, becoming what they were Designed to become. That spoke to my heart because it is exactly the journey the Lord has guided us on. And is still guiding us on! Remember, I have 6 children who are still living here!!! :)


I think the foundational Truth that has impacted our parenting is that:


Every thought, word, and action reveals the heart. 


Understanding that gives a framework for our method of raising children. We deal with things in terms of character. That may sound simplistic, but Truth is quite simple. And so, when a child became old enough to understand right from wrong (which, by the way, is very young for many of them), we began to require obedience from them. Even before a child turns one, they may exhibit defiance or compliance. And from the time your will as a parent is challenged, you must engage the battle. 


The willingness to do this depends on our understanding that these precious little ones are born with a sin nature. They do not learn it "after the fact." Man is not inherently good. Man is inherently evil. Our children come to us with the seeds of sin in their hearts, and depending on the child and how God "wired" them, that sin nature may make itself known pretty early. Are they guilty of sin at that young age? No. But the makings are there and so the training begins from the earliest opportunity.


As soon as they are able to understand your words, talk to them about the "whys." When you talk to your children, discuss character qualities. Even toddlers can understand concepts like patience and kindness and service. And when you start from the beginning, or wherever you are in the parenting journey when the Lord reveals these things to you, they learn quickly what these traits look like. Instead of saying something like, "No, no. We don't do that," say instead, "It was unkind of you to take that toy away from your brother. You are being selfish. To be like Jesus, we are supposed to be generous with our things and share." By naming the character qualities, good and bad, children learn to look deeper than just the "surface" of their actions. They learn to label the motives of their own hearts.


In the same way, when I become impatient or grumpy in front of the kids, I need to confess in specific terms to them, labeling the character qualities by name, all the while pointing to the Lord as the One to whom we are responsible. When our children see us being accountable to the Lord, they learn that these are not just "Mom & Dad's Rules." It's much more serious than that. They see us taking our character seriously and they learn to take it seriously. 


When things in the family are dealt with on this level, it provides a strong framework for us to build into our children an understanding of God's Plan and Purposes for each individual. When we consistently point them to the fact that we are accountable and responsible for our choices before the Lord, it is an easy connection for them to see that He has Plans for them. 


The talents, giftings, and abilities He Designed into their beings help reveal what He desires to accomplish through them. Those unique aspects of their created beings are specially crafted by their Loving Father so that they may use them for His Glory. And when they are trained up from a young age to look deeply into the motives of their hearts, revealed by their character and seen through their choices, they learn how important it is for them to yield all to Him so that they can walk in the fullness of His Purpose for their lives. 

Every parent knows that each of their children is naturally gifted in certain ways. One of your children may be very creative, expressed through artistic talents, while another may show no artistic bent at all. That simply means their gifts lie in another area. When your child shows an interest in a specific area, encourage it. Feed the flame. Help them sate their curiosity in productive, meaningful ways, always pointing them to the Lord and His Design for their lives. Help them understand that the things they are good at are an indication of the direction He would like them to pursue in their service to Him. Give them a Big Picture view by telling them that you want to help them learn what He Designed them to become. Help them understand that they have an important role to fulfill in the Body of Christ and their giftings meet a specific need for the Body's role in the world. Pray with your child for discernment in what He Designed them to become. Model for them the seeking of His Face for direction and insight.


As a parent, you want to commission your child to accomplish his/her "mission" for Him. A sense of their Purpose, a Vision for their lives will give them a mighty defense against the lies and schemes of the enemy. That enemy will try to convince our children that they are worthless instead of priceless, incompetent instead of gifted, aimless instead of filled with purpose. By building into their spirits the Truth of who they are, they will more readily recognize these lies. By helping them walk in Purpose, they will be able to choose activities and friends that will help them accomplish that Purpose. By training them to recognize the motives of their own hearts through instruction in character qualities, they will learn to love Truth. They will learn to desire Truth in the innermost places of the heart. They will learn to accept responsibility for each of their choices and the consequences they set in motion, for good or evil, when they make a decision. 


So much of parenting in our nation over the last generation has not been based on Truth. It has been based on relativism and humanistic principles. Even those called by His Name have been deceived. As parents, cry out to Him for Wisdom and Discernment. He will supply it in abundance. He is the answer to whatever your question is in how to train your child up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord. Ask Him to help you. Pray for your children everyday. Many times everyday. Ask the Lord to help you see who He Designed them to be, He knows them perfectly. Ask Him to help you touch their hearts and stir up in them a love of Truth that will stand against all the onslaughts of the enemy. Beg Him for Wisdom to teach your children that their own worst enemy is not the evil one, but it is their own sin nature. 


And ask Him to help you live a life worthy of your calling to parent. Sit before Him and allow Him to show you the areas in your life that are in conflict with His Will. We cannot do our very best to train our children when we are not walking in the center of His Will, dependent on His Wisdom. 


If all of this sounds a little overwhelming, start simply by praying everyday for Wisdom and Discernment. Ask Him to help you desire Truth in the innermost places. Then know that He WILL answer! He WILL move on your behalf!! He WILL show you how to be a better parent tomorrow than you have been today. Trust Him. For He IS Trustworthy. He will bless us as we seek to honor Him through the raising of these children. 

This was written as a guest post at Smooth Stones a few weeks ago. As our world is consumed in preparation for the Tabernacle Experience event coming to us, there is no time for writing, so I thought I would offer it here as a stand alone post. I hope your week is going well! :)

Raising Passionate Worshipers

I have big dreams for all these children. I want them, no matter what their vocations, to spend their lives in passionate pursuit of the Lord. 


I can spend all day everyday "telling" them they should believe certain things and act certain ways, and my words will make an impression. But all the words I can speak from now until they put these old bones in the ground cannot change the fact that my children learn as much or more from their exposure to my spirit as I can ever teach them through my words. 


Understanding this, how are we influencing our children in the area of worship?


Regardless of the style of worship where we attend church, what is our spirit teaching our children about how important worship is to us? 


Is the pew in a church building the only place they witness us in worship? 


Are the words to hymns or praise music we are being led to sing simply being parroted by hearts not fully engaged? 


Are the prayers we offer filled only with a list of requests? 


Is our spirit moved by an encounter with His Spirit in time dedicated to "corporate" worship with the Body of Christ? 


Do we really think about Who He Is? What He has done for us? 


Do our children see in our worship the posture of our hearts before Him? 


Does it even matter?


I am convinced it does. I believe it matters a great deal to our children. 


When our children witness us humbled and broken before Almighty God declaring to Him how very precious He is to us, how very desperately we need Him, how very thankful we are for everything He has done for us, how Holy and Worthy and Awesome He is, they learn to assume the same posture in their hearts. 


What a beautiful picture the Holy Spirit will paint in their young, impressionable spirits of their parents passionately worshiping Almighty God. 


Is our worship contagious? Yes, it is. For better or worse. 


Are we modeling for our children the kind of worshipers we long for them to become? 


If not, we must ask Him to help. He longs for us to seek Him. He longs for us to worship Him because it blesses Him and it blesses us. We were created for passionate Worship. How long has it been since we were moved to weeping as we declare our praise? 


What do our children see in us when we worship Him? It is what we want them to see? 


Do our children see us passionately worshiping He Who is Worthy of all praise?  


David, the one called "a man after God's own heart," knew about passionate worship. The Psalms are filled with page after page of his heart being poured out to Almighty God.

"As the deer pants for

streams of water,

so my soul pants for you,

O God.

Your love, O Lord, reaches

to the heavens,

your faithfulness to the 

skies.

Your righteousness is like

the mighty mountains,

your justice like the great deep.

I will extol the Lord at all

times;

his praise will always be 

on my lips.

My soul will boast in the

Lord;

let the afflicted hear and

rejoice.

Glorify the Lord with me;

let us exalt his name

together.

The Lord lives! Praise be to

my Rock!

Exalted be God my Savior!

I love you, O Lord, my 

strength.

The Lord is my rock, my

fortress and my deliverer;

my God is my rock, in

whom I take refuge.

I will sing to the Lord,

for he has been good to 

me.

O Lord, our Lord,

how majestic is your name

in all the earth!

I will praise you, O Lord,

with all my heart;

I will tell of all your

wonders.

I will be glad and rejoice in 

you;

I will sing praise to your

name, O Most High."

When David was bringing the Ark of the Covenant back to Jerusalem:

"As the ark of the Lord was entering the City of David, Michal daughter of Saul watched from a window. And when she saw King David leaping and dancing before the Lord, she despised him in her heart.

They brought the ark of the Lord and set it in its place inside the tent that David had pitched for it, and David sacrificed burnt offerings and fellowship offerings before the Lord. After he had finished sacrificing the burnt offerings and fellowship offerings . . .

 . . . When David returned home to bless his household, Michal daughter of Saul came out to meet him and said, 'How the king of Israel has distinguished himself today, disrobing in the sight of the slave girls of his servants as any vulgar fellow would!'

David said to Michal, 'It was before the Lord, who chose me rather than your father or anyone from his house when he appointed me ruler over the Lord's people Israel--I will celebrate before the Lord. I will become even more undignified than this, and I will be humiliated in my own eyes."

If our children see us enthusiastically cheering for a sports team, or singing along loudly with an old song we loved from our teen years, or cheering the virtuoso at a concert, shouldn't they see passion in our worship?

That doesn't mean you have to go dancing down the aisle Sunday morning. (Of course, if the Spirit moves you, go right ahead.) But we can each seek to be more engaged in worship and to intentionally take our worship outside the four walls of a church building. We can also choose to intentionally engage our children as we worship. Talk to them about what worship means and why we are called to participate as His children. Be willing to become "undignified" in passionate worship as David did and let your children watch. If this is completely foreign to your family, start by taking baby steps. Explain your motivation to them. Explain that you have asked Him to teach you to worship. Invite them to join you in the journey.

What a precious gift to give your children for them to learn to worship their Creator and Savior by watching you. 

The Motivation of Appropriate Consequences

Surely I couldn't possibly be talking about any of these angelic children, could I?

The Lord has seen fit to bless us with more than one extremely strong willed child. No, I will not be naming names. They know who they are. And so do all our friends who have watched them grow up. You can ask them. They would testify to it in court. It's unlike anything they have ever seen. Exaggeration is completely unnecessary. 


I have great sympathy for parents who have extremely strong willed children. Those of us in this category understand one another. And when other parents talk to us about a stubborn streak in one of their children, we really do try not to laugh. 


Really. 


Or roll our eyes. 


But it's really hard. 


I used to try to explain the degree of strong-willed-ness we deal with, just to help them put things in perspective, so they could be grateful for their blessings. But then I realized that was probably cruel. You see, it terrified them to the point of nightmares. 


Okay, not really. 


But it does seem more humane to just smile and nod, with a little empathetic shake of the head thrown in for good measure. 


I have wondered many times over the years if having these children was part of His Mercy for me. How else would I be required to daily learn more about depending on Him completely? 


And just to clarify a little: we Discipline. Regularly. Biblically. And we provide CONSEQUENCES. And though it doesn't appear to visibly "make a dent," we stand in Faith on His Promises that He deals with hearts and brings forth Fruit. Eventually. 


I mean, in His Perfect Timing. :)


That all being said, we have become highly-skilled at instituting consequences. We do not believe in "letting them off easy," especially when it comes to matters of submission to authority or willful disobedience. We have been accused of being "too hard." Too bad. Consequences are chosen to "fit the crime." But they are also tailor made to provide intense motivation for that child to choose more wisely in the future. 


Case in point: 
One of our little darlings simply chooses daily not "obey instantly, completely, and cheerfully," which is our standard. Said accused pushes the limits with tone of voice, questioning instructions, and justifying actions after correction.


Hmmm, what to do? After administering necessary discipline and instruction, we have to additionally impose consequences.


Since this specific individual LOVES to finish their schoolwork just as quickly as possible, which is an easy task because of extreme giftedness, the consequence that "makes a dent" is added time on additional assignments. From my victim's point of view, this falls under the category of "cruel and unusual," which probably means its PERFECT.  


For other children, an appropriate consequence might be a removed privilege, like the confiscation of the "ropin'" rope. Or early bedtime, etc. 


We must have as our standard for them responses from them that glorify God. It's not okay to allow them to sass or backtalk or roll their eyes. Each of those choices are disrespectful and not completely obedient. Cheerfully, Completely, Instantly Obedient. You're the grown up here, so not only do you need to expect it from them, you need to model it for them. 


Yes, He gave us these iron-willed ones for a reason. :)


Someday, the strength of those wills will result in Determination, Diligence, Courage, Boldness, Perseverance, etc., when they have been refined through proper, consistent discipline. 


Excuse me now, I need to go practice my "mean mom" laugh. 

Book Review: Hitty, Her First Hundred Years

With this selection, we returned to an old family favorite. I had read this book aloud years ago to the "first wave" (translation: the older three children). They loved it! In fact, Mackenzy convinced Kregg to make her a Hitty doll.


The other day, when looking for our next read-aloud, I found this and pulled it off the shelf. The "second wave" (translation: the four youngest) were not thrilled when they asked me what it was about and I told them, "A doll." They wanted something filled with exciting adventures and interesting characters. I encouraged them to give it a chance. They decided that, since I was not negotiating, their best bet would be to simply get it over with as quickly as possible. 


They didn't know what I already knew: this book is a gem!


Rachel Field received the Newbery Award for her work, Hittie, Her First Hundred Years, in 1930. 


The story opens in an antique shop well into the first half of the 1900's, when Hitty decides to write her memoirs. She tells of her "birth" when she is crafted by a peddler from mountain ash wood into a doll for a little girl named Phoebe Preble in the early part of the 1800's. The Preble family lived in Maine and Captain Preble soon took them to sea with him on a whaler out of Boston. At the time, it was thought bad luck for a woman to be aboard, but the captain had been unable to find enough crewmen to fill out his roster. So Mrs. Preble shipped aboard as cook, and Phoebe went along with her brother. 


The whaler had great success in the South Seas and all her crew would have made a great deal of money had they made it back to harbor with their cargo. The first mate, a real trouble maker, had tried multiple times to incite the crew to rebel against the captain and so when the fire broke out, some thought it had been deliberately set by him. In the end, it didn't matter because, no matter how hard they tried, the fire still gained ground. It became obvious that the ship would be lost and the only question was which direction to travel in her remaining few hours afloat. The mate wanted to go one direction, the captain another. Most of the crew finally sided with the mate and they took all but two of the long boats and left the ship. The captain, his family and a few loyal sailors were left to their fate. They gathered the remaining provisions and prepared to leave in the last two boats. In the confusion and thickening smoke, Hitty was left aboard.


It could have been a very short book, indeed, except for the fact that, just before the flames reached her, there was a sudden violent jolt and she was thrown overboard, afloat on some flotsam. Incredibly (don't you love fiction?), she was cast ashore, ending up in a tide pool upon the very island where the two longboats bearing her family had landed. 


Their new home was in a group of islands, some of which were inhabited by not-so-friendly, possibly cannibalistic, natives. When they discovered our castaways, the only thing that saved them from a violent introduction was Hitty. The chief of the tribe thought she was an idol, so he took her to his tribe's island, built her a shrine, and brought offerings to set before her. It was quite humorous to hear Hitty's narrative as she described being worshiped by heathens and pawed at by monkeys. 


This is just the beginning of Hitty's travels around the world and from one owner to the next. She was owned by missionaries & Quakers, met Charles Dickens, and ended up in an auction of antiques back in the house she started from in Maine.


It really is a charming book and was enjoyed by all, boys and girls. It would have been fun to make a chart of her travels on a map. Didn't think of it until we'd finished. So maybe you might try it if you read about Hitty. :)


This is #30 in the 52 books in 52 weeks challenge. 


I think I can, I think I can, I . . . think . . . I . . . can . . .

Read 52 Books in 52 Weeks

The Mosaic of Our Days: A Link-Up in Pages of Our Heritage of Faith

This photomosaic was created using Andrea Mosaic

I have often felt like my life is cut into a million pieces. Everyday, chop, chop, chop. Lots of starts and stops. Many changes of direction. Infinite interruptions. That's what this job of "mothering" requires, isn't it? It can feel like we never have any continuity to our days because each hour is cut up into tiny pieces by the constant demand for our attention, involvement, interaction with our children, husband, home, ministry. 


I have joked for years that I don't even think in complete sentences anymore. 


Several months ago, just to help my husband grasp the full scope of my day homeschooling the youngest four, I recorded every single question I was asked for the majority of our waking hours. It was hilarious. But it did confirm what I already knew: it's best to be flexible. It's best to allow our day to change direction, if needed. It's best for me not to have a "plan" that isn't made of rubber.


No matter which resource happens to be in highest demand at the moment (time, energy, sleep, sense of humor, laundry soap), if I believe there will be "enough" to accomplish His Purposes, I will have Peace. If I allow Him to direct, He always supplies. If I direct, the supply will always be in question.


We tend to get so caught up in the urgency of the moment, that we forget to step back and look at our lives from a different perspective. When we trust the Lord to direct our paths, we will be amazed at the end result. We will be amazed at the Beauty a life given over to His Control will produce.


This summer has been crazy, even by our standards, and we are well-conditioned to "CRAZINESS!" It has felt at times like we were being swept along in the current of a giant river, with little control of direction or destination. That's how it "felt." But that wasn't really how it was. He has been Enough. He has carried me through when I felt out of control. Because, in reality, I'm not in control. I never have been. The true reality is that He is ultimately in control and, if I allow Him, He will direct my path. In those times where we are simply keeping our heads above water in taking care of the things He wants on our lists, He is preparing fruit to be brought forth from our labors. 


And the Beauty of what He brings forth will be amazing. 


The idea of my life as a mosaic was Whispered to me last night. It was such a precious gift to me. So today, I found this fun program online just to see what would happen if I put in hundreds of pictures from our lives. The scene I chose as the template for the mosaic was a floral arrangement Hannah received when our grandson, Samuel, was born. The program takes your photos and uses them to "paint" the picture. So even though the overall scene is a beautiful still life, it is composed of hundreds of special moments from our lives. And isn't that a lovely image of how the Lord works in our lives, even when we don't see the "Big Picture," to create a work of art from all the little bitty pieces that seem to add up to "not much," from our perspective in the midst of our sometimes harried lives. Seen from a different perspective, it's pretty impressive. 


When we allow Him to be the Artist, it will always be a masterpiece. 


Thank You, Lord. 


Now it's your turn. Would you share with us how the Lord has shown Himself Faithful to you? It can be a recent post or an ancient one. It can be a story from your grandmother or one about your child. He reveals Himself to us in every moment of every day, if we just look. Your story will bless us. And you will be blessed by testifying, giving Him Glory. Start, or add to, the Pages in Your Heritage of Faith. Think of what an incredible blessing it would be to compile stories of His Faithfulness in your life and then pass it on to your children, or grandchildren. The ripples can continue into a time you won't see.  

Psalm 78

O my people, hear my teaching;
   listen to the words of my mouth.
I will open my mouth in parables,
   I will utter hidden things, things from of old—
what we have heard and known,
   what our fathers have told us.
We will not hide them from their children;
   we will tell the next generation
the praiseworthy deeds of the LORD,
   his power, and the wonders he has done.
He decreed statutes for Jacob
   and established the law in Israel,
which he commanded our forefathers
   to teach their children,
so the next generation would know them,
   even the children yet to be born,
   and they in turn would tell their children.
Then they would put their trust in God
   and would not forget his deeds
   but would keep his commands.
They would not be like their forefathers—
   a stubborn and rebellious generation,
whose hearts were not loyal to God,
   whose spirits were not faithful to him.

Providing a Framework for Young Hearts

As parents who love the Lord, we all desire our children to grow up into godly men and women who will honor Him and bring Him great Glory through the way they walk this earth. Admittedly, that goal is a lofty one. In fact, it can seem completely unattainable as we wrestle with the sin nature that rears it's ugly head sooner than we could have ever dreamed possible in our precious little darlings. 

And yet, as we read biographies of great men and women of God, we have testimony that it is indeed possible for these little "sinners" to grow up to be true reflections of Christ. But, how do we get there from here??! 

My sweet friend, Brandee, has asked me to guest post at Smooth Stones. You can read the rest here. If you would like, you can come back here and leave a comment. Thank you!!

Basket Therapy

Don't you love laundry baskets? They are handy for so many things! You don't even want to know some of the things ours have been used for. That's why they look like this. :)


I had a friend whose house was for sale while she had an infant. The thought of the realtor calling at any given moment wanting to come show her house would make her break out in hives. Then she came up with a brilliant idea. She would keep a couple of empty laundry baskets (or twelve, depending on your tolerance for "messy") handy and when the phone rang to schedule a showing, she would dash around the house and throw the clutter in the baskets, then carry the baskets out to the garage and stick them in her car. She stayed sane and the house sold. 


Another great use for the humble laundry basket is to use them for cleaning house. I'm sure many of you have already stumbled on this particular use, but in case the sometimes mind-numbing job of homemaking, homeschooling, &
mothering, or any combination of those jobs, has left you a little short on ideas, maybe this will help.


Get a few empty baskets and take them and your children to the first room on your list. Everything that doesn't belong in that room goes in the basket. Then straighten what's left in that room and carry the basket to the next room. Add the things to the basket that don't belong in room two, and subtract any items from the basket that actually do belong in room two. Then straighten what's left. You can buzz through the whole house pretty quickly, and before you know it, everything is back where it belongs. Depending on your schedule for the day, you can then proceed with cleaning those rooms, or if straightening was all your day will allow, the cleaning can wait for another day. 


With young children, the basket drill may be something you spend 30 minutes doing every evening before baths and bedtime so that your time after the kids are in bed can be spent gazing into the loving eyes of your husband, without being distracted by visual clutter. :)


Once the kids "know the drill," they can probably do it by themselves if they are old enough. Even if they aren't, helping mom is still lots of fun for them when we keep it cheerful. "The highest form of play for a child is work with an adult." I think David Elkind is the one who said that, I can't remember. If the kids are going to do it themselves, you can add music to the drill. Maybe they have a favorite sing-along cd--use it and tell them you're going to see if they can make it through one room by the time a certain song is over. Again, depending on their age, you can lengthen the time by adding a song or two. Or  maybe the goal is to straighten the whole house by the time the entire cd has played through once. You'll have to adjust the time frame to keep them motivated, but not frustrated.


There is something so wonderful about going to bed and waking up to a house that is straightened up. Even if it's not all scrubbed and polished, straight sure makes me feel better about life. That's my two cents worth. Hope it helps. :)