Lack of Effort or Lack of Ability?

A childish, yet valiant attempt at constructing a coil pot

I need Wisdom. 


It would be nice if we could use a diagnostic computer, like they use on cars, hook the kids up to it, and figure out what was wrong, why things aren't "running" well. But, then we wouldn't have to humble ourselves before the Father and ask for help. And, as a parent, that's the very best place to be.


We try very hard around here to focus on root causes in the heart, not outward manifestations. 


Our specific area of need right at this moment, the area that has me asking Him for Help is this: I need Wisdom in order to discern whether two frustrated young scholars in our homeschool are actually unable or unwilling to do their work. Are they doing their best, but are simply incapable of processing some information? Or are they, because of a lack of motivation or interest, allowing their minds to wander? Or worse yet, not engaging their minds?


We don't know what Josh and Ben went through during their first several years. We know it was tragic, though. Members of their extended family are the ones who turned their parents in to the Russian government for neglecting their two little boys. They suffered rickets and were malnourished when we brought them home. Their parents were severe alcoholics, and though the boys show no outward signs of Fetal Alcohol Syndrome, there are quite possibly effects that cause them problems. 


Beyond the physical health issues, the fact that their birth parents were drunk most of the time means the boys received little, if any, mental stimulation. I wonder if they ever had a book read to them by their parents. Did they take them to a park? Did they tell them stories? Did they explain things to them? Even in their native language, their vocabulary was minuscule. 


None of those things were their faults. They truly were completely defenseless, at the mercy of parents whose lives were bound up in a bottle of vodka--to the point that, when the government workers came and took Oleg and Sergey away, those parents never again contacted their little boys. They never answered government correspondence concerning the fate of their children. They never wrote to them. They never traveled to see them. After two years in the orphanage, they had made no progress toward finding help and their parental rights were terminated.


All of those things have lasting consequences that affect them still.


But that doesn't mean we simply accept their delays and challenges as unchangeable. When we find the right motivation, it's amazing how much better their brains function. (snicker, snicker) When they know they won't get to go to Boy Scouts, or get their "roping rope" back, their work suddenly improves. Which speaks volumes.


But there are those days when things just do not make sense, no matter what we do. There are those days when, no matter how it is explained to them, a concept just doesn't register. There are times when I cannot come up with a single, additional way to explain something that causes "the light" to come on.


The line between lack of effort and lack of ability is often blurry. Wisdom is required. 


And not just for Josh and Ben. For all of them. In fact, one of our older children was very challenged in school work. Understanding that physical age and learning level are not the same for everyone is essential. And I have to continue to remind myself that, even though the boys are almost 14 and 15, their developmental age was derailed for several years while they were in Russia. 


Our expectations for our children need to be high. They need to be challenging. We need to encourage them to work hard and achieve what they thought impossible. Mediocrity is never a blessing. But neither is perfectionism. Finding the balance between effort and ability encourages the kids to do their best, without discouraging them with unrealistic expectations.


We want our children to be prepared for everything the Lord calls them to be and do. By striving for excellence in effort and performance, they are challenged to stretch beyond what is easy. They don't respect themselves when they know their effort is less than it should be, and we aren't doing them any favors to accept less. Whatever they are capable of doing for His Glory, we desire for them to do with excellence.


But Wisdom is required to see the balance.

Approaching the Word

I have been convicted, of late, that I should approach the Word with more humility. Okay, convicted is too strong a word. "Gently nudged" would be a better description. It occurred to me that I may have allowed an attitude to creep in that sort of "takes it for granted."


Not good. 


If I really believe that His Word is living and active, my heart should have an attitude that approaches it with a humble expectation of encountering Him through the words on those pages. Every time I pick it up, I should expect to meet Him there, in those words, and for that encounter to change me.


The kids and I discussed this today. In our homeschool, we read several chapters each day in our Bibles, and the very repetition can be conducive to the forming of an attitude of familiarity and complacency. So the posture of our hearts needs to be intentionally addressed to avoid a habit forming that allows us to read the Bible like it is no different than the words written by man. 


Even though they may not fully comprehend what to expect, they should learn to have an expectation when they engage the Word. We encourage them to write in their Bibles, to mark them up, to take notes, so that the lessons being taught them by the Holy Spirit can be built upon as the years pass.


This is the first year, for the ones still in our homeschool, that they are reading through the entire Bible in a year, in addition to our other Bible work. The hope is that it will become a lifelong habit that will take hold of their hearts. Not to check it off a list, but to help them continually devote time to the Word. Even if some of them don't understand much of what they are reading at this point, the Living Word is sowing seeds in their young hearts.

Trebuchet Triumph

I learned something this week about my youngest son, Ben. And, I must say, it is a "game changer."


Background first. 


Thirty six hours after we met Josh (Sergey) and Ben (Oleg), they were our adopted sons and we were about to leave the orphanage in Magadan in far eastern Siberia. The orphanage director was giving us a brief, as in two sentence, summary of the character of these two little guys, who now shared our name but whom we didn't know at all. 

She explained how Joshua was like Cinderella, willing to work as hard as he could just so someone would love him.  Then she said Ben believed he was a prince and could get away with anything if he would just smile big enough.


YIKES!


When we got home, we learned just how astute her summary had been. 


Ben didn't want to do anything that he deemed "too hard." At first, that encompassed almost everything. 


I remember getting out the Duplo blocks (giant sized Legos) for the boys to play with because they would be easily understood without a language barrier. He was six years old, but he sat in the middle of the family room floor with a block in his hand, crying like a baby and sliding the block across the building base over and over and over again. It was too hard. He wanted someone to build it for him. Needless to say, he did not get what he wanted. Life, as he had known it, was over.


He wasn't planning to learn English, either. He was going to continue speaking Russian and have Joshua serve as his translator for the rest of his life. You think I'm joking? Nope. 


When we were able to begin their schooling, it was the same story. Everything was simply too hard. He didn't want to put forth any effort and he fought every step of progress we made. It has basically been the equivalent of dragging him along. For seven years. Granted, school is hard for him. And there are things he will probably never be good at--that's okay, as long as he does his best.


We required the kids to learn their math facts before they could start our math curriculum. Guess who learned them last? Yup! That's right. No matter what we tried, they just wouldn't stick. We tried flash cards, drills, worksheets, manipulatives, rewards. IT TOOK YEARS! And there was NO progress! I began to think that maybe he was just not able to learn them. Finally, I figured out that he was bluffing. 


We were planning one of our epic road trips and the cousins were coming along with us. The kids LOVE traveling with cousins. Everyone rides with everyone else and the miles just melt away. Knowing how much he was looking forward to that, I told Ben that if he did not learn his math facts by the time we left on our trip, he would be required to ride the entire 4600 miles in our vehicle working on his flash cards. And I was dead serious. A week later? He knew all his facts: addition, subtraction, multiplication and division! Now, without constant drill, they still aren't automatic. In fact, he has to stop and calculate almost everyone of them while working his problems. We may very well be dealing with some fetal alcohol syndrome, but he still has to learn to do his very best at every job he's given.


Fast forward to the past couple of weeks. 


Our little group of young people at church have been in a great study on Sunday nights. As part of the study, they completed a spiritual gift assessment. Of course, the accuracy of the results depends a great deal on understanding the questions and so we tried to explain any terms with which they were unfamiliar. 


Interestingly, the area Ben scored highest in was craftsmanship. Hmmm . . . Didn't really fit with what we had seen for the past 7 years, but we felt we needed to simply wait and see.


We didn't have long to wait.


As we prepare for the arrival of the cousins and the commencement of festivities in celebration of Thanksgiving, we thought having our own little "punkin chunkin" experiments would be great fun as a group activity. I ordered two trebuchet kits of very different design so the kids could learn about the physics involved in the different models. How difficult could it be to build them? They're only two or three feet tall, after all. We could add their construction to our already formidable list of preparations to be made. No problem.

When the box arrived, I wondered what on earth I had gotten myself into! These are the parts for just one of them!

This is the first one, completed.

And here is number two!


And guess who became completely and thoroughly engrossed?! Guess who took the very complicated instructions and read large parts of it himself and assembled complete sections without any help? The same young man who has absolute FITS with word problems in math! He was amazing! 


Not only did I see something completely new in him, so did he! It was so precious. He realized that he could do this. Even though it had many intricate steps and pieces, he understood what to do and how to do it! You should have seen his face! There was a new maturity and confidence in him that gives me such hope. 


He said, "Well you know, Mom, it is one of my Gifts." 


A switch flipped.


I think this will be one of those serendipity moments in his life that he will always be able to look back on and recognize that everything changed for him while building trebuchets.


Thank You, LORD!!

Keep On Keepin' On

As we continue our 20th year of homeschooling, one thing is abundantly clear: this journey is a marathon of epic proportions. 


So much has been learned, not just by the children. For, besides educating our children, the Lord continues to sanctify me through this process. In fact, I sometimes wonder if that is not the more critical variable in this equation:

1 mother + 7 children + 20 years of 24/7 intense interaction

=

the inability to ignore areas in me that still are not completely submitted

Not only is homeschooling intense, but my "pupils" are intense. I have often wondered why He entrusted me with multiple children who are EXTREMELY strong-willed. I believe, in His most loving Mercy, that the answer is two fold: First, He desires them to bring Him great Glory through their passionate personalities submitted to His Will and Purpose through extensive parenting/training. And second, because I, too, am so very strong-willed and passionate about things. Having all of them home with me all day/every day is the best way for Him to also work on me. 

From that context, the extreme intensity of this season of schooling in which we find ourselves is directly related (if we yield to His Purpose) to the type and quantity of fruit He desires to bear in us. That is serious business. 

How do we keep the main thing the main thing? It is so easy to become distracted by the actual nuts and bolts of math and logic and Greek & Latin roots.

If the goal is to see Him more clearly and be always pressing further into His Heart, then the exercises in dictation or grammar are simply tools to be used to accomplish those goals. They are not an end in themselves. They are a means to a higher end. 

I'm sure I'm "preaching to the choir" here, but it helps me to, once again, "flesh" it all out and remind myself of the real reasons why we are still here after 20 years. 

For all you other homeschoolers out there: I'm proud of you!! Keep on keepin' on! It is worth all the work. They are worth all the work. :)

"Hands On" is Helpful

One great thing I love in homeschooling is the ability to connect all the subjects. While studying Ancient China during our history lessons, we were talking about the discovery of silk worms and how carefully the Chinese guarded the secrets behind the fabric woven from their cocoons. 


It just so happens that right before we came to that lesson, I had found an adorable shop on Etsy filled with all kinds of wonderful handmade items. (I fell in love. :) I'm thinking Samuel will absolutely love some of these precious toys.) In addition to all the beautiful toys, she had packages of silk worm cocoons! 


We definitely needed to order some!

The package arrived quickly and it was so cute! I love cute packages. 

Included in the package were a dozen (we actually received 14) cocoons and a series of incredibly beautiful pictures showing the life cycle of silk worms! 

Each one is labeled on the back so that you know exactly what is in the picture. All that for only $9 + shipping! I LOVE a bargain! :) 

Isn't that incredible? Those tiny little fibers are woven into silk. The kids are going to try to unwind one so they better understand the complexity of the Lord's Design and why silk is so expensive and fabulous. 


This is much better than just reading about the silk trade, don't you think? 

Book Review: The Abolition of Man

This book exactly describes the condition in which we now find our society. In the last few years, I have often imagined myself standing in the middle of a big field, screaming at the top of my voice, "This Is Insanity!" And no one can hear me. 


When I look at how far we have slipped down that proverbial slope in our values and morals as a culture, it often seems as if the world has gone mad! 


When I hear of another judge making another immoral decision based on relative truth, I want to pull all of my hair out. 


When I hear another thing that my taxes are paying for that is morally reprehensible, I want to bang my head against a wall. 


I have asked over and over and over again how "they" could have come to believe "that?" How can evil be called good and good evil? How can Truth be exchanged for a lie? How can life have become so cheap? How can all of our most basic Values in which previous generations of this nation stood firmly now be considered optional?


According to Lewis, our Society has slowly been desensitized and reprogrammed to believe that man will only be "free" to become what he should become when he has shed his loyalty to those underlying principles on which all of society has previously stood: "General Beneficence, Special Beneficence, Duties to Parents or Elders or Ancestors, Duties to Children and Posterity, The Law of Justice, The Law of Good Faith and Veracity, The Law of Mercy, The Law of Magnanimity." These principles are common to all the major value systems in history: Platonic, Aristotelian, Stoic, Christian, and Oriental. 

"But what is common to them all is something we cannot neglect. It is the doctrine of objective value, the belief that certain attitudes are really true, and others really false, to the kind of thing the universe is and the kind of things we are."

Lewis calls this foundational belief system the Tao for the purpose of this discussion and defines people as those "inside" the Tao (belief in Absolutes, Objective Values) and those "outside" the Tao (Those who define things according to their personal motivations and desires). 


As the "powers that be" have shifted more and more to being "outside the Tao," their efforts to reprogram minds have infiltrated the most basic principles of education. 

"Hence the educational problem is wholly different according as you stand within or without the Tao. For those within, the task is to train in the pupil those responses which are in themselves appropriate, whether anyone is making them or not, and in making which the very nature of man consists. Those without, if they are logical, must regard all sentiments as equally non-rational, as mere mists between us and the real objects. As a result, they must either decide to remove all sentiments, as far as possible, from the pupil's mind: or else to encourage some sentiments for reasons that have nothing to do with their intrinsic 'justness' or 'ordinacy.' The latter course involves them in the questionable process of creating in others by 'suggestion' or incantation a mirage which their own reason has successfully dissipated."

When the ultimate "reason" behind the decisions a society makes are no longer founded on objective values, what rises to the top of the motivation behind actions is supposedly "Instinct." Here is where we see so much of the devastating results of Darwin's "theories" and the havoc they have wrought to the very underpinnings of civilization. (I would LOVE to witness a debate between Lewis and Darwin. Lewis would eat his lunch!) When the reasons behind the actions are reduced to "Instinct," as if that which is "basest" in man is best, then all bets are off. One person can claim "Instinct" when committing any crime he feels like committing because "Instinct" can be wholly defined by the individual with no dependence on or responsibility to cultural mores, laws, values, or conscience. What is right for one is "right" simply because that one says it's right, regardless of the effects of his choice on anyone else. 


So everything that is noble, honorable, self-sacrificing in the human race, everything that elevates man above beast is relegated to the cultural trash heap and what started as a quest for freedom to attain man's highest form results in the Abolition of Man.  

"If nothing is self-evident, nothing can be proved. Similarly, if nothing is obligatory for its own sake, nothing is obligatory at all."

I have not come close to doing justice to the brilliance of Lewis' arguments. He is a master logician and theologian and philosopher and can unravel any argument that roars it's lies in the face of Truth. Ultimate Truth does exist and the argument and proof lies all about us when we see the reflection of Christ in man and the Fingerprint of God in all of Creation. 


So, as from the beginning, it boils down to two sides: God, or the rejection of God as embodied in the evil one. Even though it seems that our culture has come to a "new low," it's not new. It's simply a revisiting of the original and perpetual battle that wants to reject the Authority of God over the Universe.


This is #33 in the 52 books in 52 weeks challenge. 

Check Out the Challenge

Star Walk

Photo Credit

Kregg and the boys were gone last night, looking for hunting leases. A very manly pursuit, don't you think? Time for lots of testosterone and bonding.


That meant it was girls' night here. We spent the evening simply enjoying each other. And laughing. We did a lot of laughing. 


Late in the evening, I received an invitation from our youngest, Rebekah, to join her outside. She wanted to show me something. I finished up a conversation with Mackenzy and made my way to the backyard. Rebekah was on the trampoline using an app on my phone to look at the stars. She kept using the word, "awesome." The delight in her voice was contagious.

I've always loved the stars, but never spent much time doing anything but simply gazing at them in wonder. 


Rebekah was overcome by it all, as if she had just stepped into a grand, new space previously unknown to her. As she showed me each of the different constellations she had found and where they were in our night sky, the joy increased. We lay there on the trampoline giggling and gazing up at this incredible testimony to the Creator. 


It is so very dry here that the static electricity was alive! It felt like hairs standing straight up on the deck of the trampoline. Every time we moved, there was a small shower of sparks. When we brushed against each other as we looked at another constellation on the phone, another spark and a shock. And again, we'd giggle.


And in that quiet communing, we could hear the sound of everything around us, our senses acutely aware. I found myself gazing at her face and the wonder found there, as much as I did at the stars, both revealing the Glory of His Hand. Perfection. 


As we watched the crescent moon sink lower and lower on the horizon, our spirits feasted, along with our eyes. What a blessing it is to witness His Glory! And so we worship.

Just How Important is That Curriculum Choice?

Curriculum choices, while important, are not as big a deal as some people make them. (My opinion)


What matters most in the success you will have in homeschooling is the philosophy of education that underlies each of your choices concerning the education of your children. 


As a "seasoned" homeschooler, this is where I encourage those considering home education for the first time to start. I have written about this before, but as the end of the traditional school year arrives and many people are now choosing the materials they will use in the fall, I wanted to climb up on this old soapbox again. 


If you already understand your educational philosophy, you can stop here. If, however, you haven't really thought about it, you might want to continue reading. 


Many approach home education by simply going directly to the curriculum catalogs. They may eventually get around to processing enough information about different approaches that they kind of end up stumbling into a philosophy of education. But it is much better to start from the beginning knowing what you believe about how a true education occurs so that it can guide you through all the choices necessary to effectively accomplish your goal. Be intentional.


During my education classes in college, there were basically two kinds of classes. The vast majority were about "crowd management" or education from a "herd mentality." But a couple of them were actually about the learning process. Those were the ones I loved. But I still didn't connect the dots. When we started homeschooling Hannah, I set up our little school room to look like a public school classroom. The curriculum I chose looked a lot like the curriculum I had used in the public schools. We had an okay year, but not a great one because I didn't "get it." I think the reason the year went as well as it did was because we did focus on reading wonderful books to her. But other than that, there were no memorable successes. 


In the years that followed, the Lord provided me examples of true education through a dear mentor/friend who was down the road several miles ahead of me in the process. I saw the difference between what I was doing/using and how she was teaching her children. There was no comparison. I was sold. The fruit I saw in their lives was so compelling that it quickly showed me I had settled for a mere shadow of reality. And there was no way, after seeing it, that I was going to continue down the path I had begun.


At that point, I wrestled through the philosophy aspect of homeschooling. And it has made all the difference. I read different authors from Marilyn Howshall, to Susan Schaeffer Macaulay, to Charlotte Mason, to Dorothy Sayers. I'm still reading about the philosophy of education: C. S. Lewis' The Abolition of Man and R. C. Sproul, Jr.'s When You Rise Up.


When we began homeschooling it was from a defensive posture, wanting to protect them from all the negatives that can be present in the public education system. But once I captured the vision for what true education is, it was no longer about defense. I was now homeschooling because I could offer them  much more by customizing their learning experiences to fit their giftings and their needs. 


So how does all of that affect the choices in curriculum? 


Recognizing that the curriculum is not the answer, but merely a tool to aid in the process affords great freedom in the choice. No longer do I have to find that one perfect curriculum that will solve all our educational woes. There isn't one. Instead, I look for tools that facilitate what we have learned about how learning takes place in the most efficient and fruitful ways. 


Sometimes that means a textbook for a certain season for a certain subject. Often it means using a great book to learn about a historical period. Or maybe a great resource that we can use as a jumping off place to delve more deeply into an area that fascinates us. We pull in LOTS of resources from field guides to internet searches to old, out of print historical fiction, to a simple framework that takes us through the Bible in stick figures, to the Character Sketch books, to an old series of books called the Book of Knowledge. 


It's about the process. It's about the tools of learning. 


What is your philosophy of education? What did the journey that culminated in your educational philosophy look like? What are your favorite resources? The ones you go to time and time again?