The Latest Link-Up in "Pages in Our Heritage of Faith"

The Happy Couple going in to get their marriage license

Scores of people are heading our way. The programs are almost finished. The list of “to-do’s” that couldn’t be done until now is formidable. The weather is still the unknown variable. The marriage license had to wait until now because they both have to go, and Kris lives in Oklahoma. There have been a few glitches in our carefully orchestrated plan: an over zealous son wielding a pickax smashing the sewer line, two more snakes have become ill, four families requesting the kids’ help taking care of their houses and pets while they leave town this week of all weeks, thinking the music for the ceremony was all ready only to find out that it is yet to do, Elizabeth’s asthma flaring.


You can read the rest here, and jump in on the link-up.

Smack Between the Eyes: A Link-Up in "Pages in Our Heritage of Faith"

I am so thankful for this man. We have been married for over 26 years, parenting for over 24 of those years, and he still loves me. :) 


He generally avoids confrontations, whenever possible. But there are those times when, as the head of our family, a situation requires his gentle, but firm touch.


Today, it was me.


I required him to speak Truth into my life because I have been careless at times with the tone of voice with which I speak to my family. He lovingly explained the situation and then prayed over me.


How can you argue with that?  He's right. I can allow frustration or weariness to build inside my soul and then speak harshly to the kids or to him. That's not okay. And every time I do it, a spirit is wounded by my tone. 


I didn't want to hear it. But I needed to hear it. He did exactly what he was supposed to do as the one in authority over me. And I am thankful for it. Even though it was unpleasant, he loves me enough to give me what I need, not just what I want. 


And that's exactly what my Father does for me. He Faithfully convicts, corrects, and offers Grace for me so that I may learn to choose better going forward. He will not leave me here, at this point in my sanctification process. He doesn't want me to speak harshly to anyone, and so He, through my husband's authority, rebuked and corrected me and my heart is at peace, knowing that I am guilty as charged, knowing that they both love me too much to allow me to continue.


I'm thankful.


Today has been filled with a gentle tone of voice. And we are all better off. Any frustration or weariness needs to be taken to Him, not dumped on my sweet family. 

The Lord's Faithfulness is evident in so many ways. And I love to take notes when He, again, displays His never-ever-ending Faithfulness to me, or my family. It helps me to chronicle this Journey of sanctification so that, when the hard times come around again, I can look back and remember that, no matter how hard things seem, He will never leave me nor forsake me. Never, ever, ever. And that fills my heart with Hope.


I would love for you to link up a post here that testifies of His Faithfulness to you or to those you love. It can be something you wrote a long time ago, or something you type out right now. We give Him Glory when we declare the Truth about His nature. So jump right in with both feet. :)

Our Clan is Taking Over the World: A Link-Up in "Pages in Our Heritage of Faith"

We alternate holidays with our families. Christmas 2011 was a "Conder Christmas." We convene at my in-laws and commence the celebration. And part of that celebration is a new family picture. It's always amazing to see how many new faces have been added since the last picture, and how much more gray I have in my hair. :) 


Hannah has taken our picture the last couple of times and she does a beautiful job. This one was taken in the Welcome Center on the campus of Abilene Christian University. Our niece's sweet husband has "connections" so we could get in the building. With this many in the picture, the main goal for the photographer is simply to get as many people with their eyes open and looking toward the camera as possible. 


Amazingly, Hannah took this picture and then PhotoShop-ed herself into it. And Samuel, our grandson, was the only one not looking at the camera, so she took his head out of another one of the shots and stuck it on his body in this one. I assure you, the process was quite bloodless and painless.


As difficult as it is to coordinate an undertaking with this many variables, I'm so thankful everyone made the effort. Having a record of our time together is priceless. We always try to be thankful, but seeing this picture this week is especially precious.


You see, Grandpa has Multiple Myeloma.


He was diagnosed six years ago. And it broke the hearts of everyone in that picture.


It is not curable, medically. The goal in treatment is remission. He underwent a stem cell transplant that almost killed him. In preparation, the patient is given a substance that causes the body to produce millions of new stem cells. These are harvested. Then a massive dose of chemo is administered to kill off almost everything. For a month, Audie was deathly ill. 


We prayed.


For the past 5 1/2 years, he has not required any cancer treatment. None! And we have been blessed to have his presence in our lives, in the lives of our children. And the magnitude of that blessing is beyond description. We have savored every moment we've had in his presence. 


He and Marlene travel to M. D. Anderson every few months for routine checkups. We have been warned that it will come back. It's just a matter of when. Last week, when they went, one of the tests came back with elevated numbers. The doctors are concerned he may be coming out of remission. A follow up test after they returned home had some of the numbers back down to normal, and we are praising the Lord for that. 


They will return to Houston in a few weeks, instead of months, for the doctors to try and evaluate the situation more clearly. 


Spending part of last weekend with them, you would never have known they were facing anything other than the need to mow the yard or make plans to remodel their kitchen. They both walk in such Peace and Love that they are a blessing to everyone around them. 


We are praying for healing. That's what we all want. We want to keep both of them here with us forever because we love them so much. We know the Lord knows our hearts. And He Loves them more than we do! Because of that, we can all choose Peace. Even in the midst of circumstances that could break our hearts, He is Faithful and everything He allows into our lives is the most loving way for Him to accomplish His Purposes. And so we praise Him! We will praise Him for whatever path they are called to walk, trusting Him.


What an incredible God we serve! He is Worthy of all our praise, adoration, and confidence.

I would be blessed to read of His Faithfulness in your lives. Would you join us as we testify of His Faithfulness to us? It is amazing to see His Hand in our lives, His Presence with us as we walk through life. What more could we need or desire? He is Enough. 

Happy "Extra" Day!

When the load grows heavy, when our hearts feel weary and empty, when it seems we can only see far enough ahead for a single step, Joy may seem elusive.


The Truth of our situation is this: there is always "enough" to accomplish what He's given us to do. Today. 


If we could see miles ahead, would we be as dependent?


If we knew everything would turn out exactly the way we envision, would our prayers be earnest?


If we look at our day, and all that is on the list is what He's put there, Grace is Sufficient. When we get ourselves in a bind, it's usually because we didn't let Him make the list that day. 


And the pressure on those days when we feel like Bilbo Baggins as he said, "I feel . . . thin, sort of stretched, like butter scraped over too much bread," is our warning sign that things are out of balance. That feeling is a blessing, reminding us to press into His Heart, allowing Him to scratch anything off our list that shouldn't be there. 


Too often, though, I tend to dig in deeper and try to plow through the list, as I planned.


This morning, I told Him I was weary and begged Him to help me. And as we sat down to begin school, He reminded me that He is Sufficient for Today. In fact, He gave me an entire extra day! Most years, this would be March 1. But we have one more February day to walk in Grace! And for me, that was such an encouragement as this day began.


May your "extra day" be filled with an expanded understanding of His Provision, of His Perfect Timing in all things, of His desire to bless us through balance, and of His Trustworthiness to manage our "list." 

An Introvert Living in a House Full of People! A Link-Up in "Pages in Our Heritage of Faith"

A friend asked me an interesting question not long ago. He didn't believe me when I told him I was an introvert, so he asked me if it "recharges" me to be around a group of people, or if I "recharge" by being alone. I told him it was most definitely and unequivocally when I am ALONE! 


But that almost never happens!


My sweet husband has, several times over the years, said he would love for me to have a "break." (Those comments are usually forthcoming when he gazes into my eyes and notices that I'm "glazing" over.) Brainstorming for ways that a "mom's time-out" could be accomplished, he would dream up several different options, all of which involved me going somewhere, often times with a friend/sister, to "do" something fun.


I told him that what sounds blissful to me is simply to check into a room in a hotel here, in town, for a couple of days. I could stay up as long as I wanted, sleep until I woke up, and take the stack of books I'm reading at the moment. Now, that's what I call a "break!"


Hasn't happened yet. It's not because he wouldn't let me, it's just that I haven't felt like the timing was right. Yet.


Hope does spring eternal. After all, I'm only 24 1/2 years into this journey of motherhood. 


It could still happen.


You just never know.


In the meantime, this introvert will continue living in the "antbed," learning to trust His Grace when my batteries need to be recharged, even in the midst of the mob. 


And He does always recharge me.


Today was a perfect example. 


Our homeschool is intense. Very. Intense. 


Today, I wanted to run away. I had a stack of math, spelling, grammar, Greek & Latin, and dictation papers to check, the boys needed me to help review their rough drafts in composition, the girls needed me to help them check their final copies of an essay, and I felt my spirit tensing up. The thought went through my mind, "Just tell them to go do their reading and you can go hide for a little while in your bedroom." 


There are times when that is actually a wise choice. 


This wasn't one of them. 


This was a time to not leave a single thing out, not using any excuses from the "emotional duress" category, but allowing His Grace to flow over and through me. 


That's not always what I choose. I sometimes choose what I want instead of what He wants. I sometimes give myself excuses to not do what is best because it's hard. 


It was precious, though, because Grace (the power and the desire to do His Will) allowed me to choose Peace, and to go through every assignment with each child, just the way it needed to happen. For them and for me. They needed to complete their work with excellence. I needed to facilitate that process in a cheerful, helpful way. 


If I had chosen what I wanted, I would have bolted. 


At least, my heart was telling me that's what I wanted.


The Truth of the matter, though, is that I really didn't want to choose the "easy way out." But it required His Grace for me to know that and for Him to accomplish it in me. My strength was not sufficient. It never is.


When we made it through the thick of the daily assignments, and everyone had worked hard to faithfully finish what their responsibilities required, we all felt a sense of accomplishment that only comes through pressing through the "sticking places" to finish the race.


I'm so thankful He helped me choose what I needed to choose.


Now, if it does work out one of these days where I can go check into a hotel for a couple of days to allow this introvert-who-is-constantly-living-outside-her-comfort-zone "recharge" in that way, you won't have to worry about the door hitting me on the way out. :)


Until then, I'm supposed to learn how to dive deeper into His Fathomless Grace. Wonder if I will ever learn to do more than a "dogie paddle" . . .

I would love to hear your stories of His Faithfulness in your life. Link up with us here and tell us all about it. He has been Faithful this week, this month, this year, we just have to pay attention. 


Thank all of you who have linked up in the past. What a blessing you have been to me!

"I Am Standing Upon the Seashore"

Years ago, a friend shared this poem with me. I have read it several times since then and I love the picture it paints of the transition between life here on earth and our true Home. 

"I am standing upon the seashore. A ship at my side spreads her white sails to the ocean. She is an object of beauty and strength. I stand and watch her until at length she hangs like a speck of white cloud just where the sea and sky come to mingle with each other.

Then someone at my side says, 'There, she is gone!'

'Gone where?'

Gone from my sight. That is all.

Her diminished size is in me, not in her. And just at the moment when someone at my side says: 'There, she is gone!' there are other eyes watching her coming, and other voices ready to take up the glad shout:

'Here she comes!'

And that is dying.

                                                                    by Henry Scott Holland


There have been so many people we know who have recently been parted with their loved ones. I was just reading a beautiful tribute to a grandmother who went Home and the tears streamed down my face as I thought about the pain that sweet heart is feeling, and remembering my own goodbyes to my grandparents and parents. 


Theologically, I don't know how accurately the poem portrays the reality of things. But I DO know the Joy is real when another saint finishes the race and arrives Home. The actual beauty of that reality is probably so far beyond our understanding that we are not able to comprehend it with our finite perspective.


(There are several "versions" of this poem, some attributed to Van Dyke. I used the one from the book my friend shared with me.)

Blessings in Blogging: A Link-Up in "Pages in Our Heritage of Faith"

In the depths of winter, this flower from my sister's garden several years ago just seemed so cheerful that, even though it has nothing to do with the topic of this post, I chose it anyway to brighten things up.


It's been cold here this week. Now, I know that is a relative term. But when we don't get out of the 40's for a whole day, we get chilled straight through to the bone. We actually had a roaring fire going all day yesterday while we did our schooling. This long season beckons us to slow down, curl up, snuggle in, and contemplate life's big ideas.


As our lives hum along down this path of homeschooling, parenting, grandparenting, trying to help serve in the Body, Kregg's new job, etc., I still come to a dead stand still with my mouth gaping open when I look at all He is doing!


With little time to spare from "the necessaries," the days can pass with only a few moments here and there to "blog." And every time I have asked Him if this season is over, He has answered that it should continue.


It's hard for me to remember that just 2 1/2 years ago, I didn't really even understand what a blog was, much less how one worked. (I'm trying to learn how to "work" a new site that was gifted to me by my sweet Hannah for Christmas. When it's ready, I'll redirect things over there.)


When the Antbed began, my vision was small. I simply wanted to tell funny stories, because our family has such whoppers. :) The vision then could never have prepared me for how He has blessed me through this little page floating around in cyberspace, 550+ posts later.


The Body of Christ is alive and well and so very dynamic. Through the people He has introduced me to at the Antbed, I have been blessed to form relationships with so many precious fellow Believers! I never dreamed He would plant so many of you in my heart! It is a marvel to me how He has orchestrated it all.


I never could have done it. 


I was convicted a while back that I was not to try to "increase readership." (Now, this is for me--it may not apply to your blog.) Instead, I was to just write, respond, and rest in knowing that He would bring whoever He wanted here. It wasn't my job to go find them.


And He has. 


And I am so very grateful for each and everyone of you. The interaction we share in the "comments" section, or via emails, or phone calls is precious to me. You are each His Gift to me. And through you, I learn more and more about His Body. 

Dear Blogging Buddies,
I'm looking forward to reading your testimonies here of the Lord's Faithfulness to you. Write down your stories. Link them here and let others read a "Page in Your Heritage of Faith." Each link is a blessing, filled with encouragement to continue trusting Him with all that we are, all that our hearts carry, all that we hope. He IS Faithful. And we need to faithfully take notes. Otherwise, we forget. We don't want to forget a single thing. Our hearts need to be reminded.

Our Friendly Septic Tank Man: A Link-Up in "Pages in Our Heritage of Faith"

We really "moved up" in the world a few years ago when our neighborhood received city water. Prior to that, we had lived for years with well water. And our well water is so hard, it comes out in the shape of little bricks. So there was much to celebrate when we received a city tap for water. But that was the only hook-up they installed. We are still on a septic system. 


For those of you who don't know what that is, be thankful.


Anyway, because our home was built for a smaller family than ours, our septic system is under constant strain. Which means, we have to kind of "baby" it. We have used the same company to take care of it for years. I don't trust anybody else. Our septic tank man has kept us from having any serious trouble and so I do whatever he tells me to do. If he says, "Double up on the bacteria treatment." I double up on the bacteria treatment. If he says, "Use Angel Soft tissue paper." I won't buy any other kind. If he says, "Do not use bleach or any other harsh cleaners, and do NOT use anything antibacterial." Then you better believe I follow his advice religiously.


At least once a year, he comes to clean everything out. We all stay inside. I try not to think about what they are doing with that giant stainless steel truck in my back yard.


When he's finished, he comes in so I can write him a check and so he can hand me the boxes of bacteria for the upcoming year. Of course, we are usually having school when he comes. During his last visit, he was in quite a talkative mood. He sat down at the school table and began to tell me how blessed our children are to grow up in our home. 


He went on to explain his childhood and how he hadn't been raised in a wholesome family. And because of that, his life was really "off track" for many years. We talked about the Lord and politics and homeschooling and his family. It made me cry. 


We sometimes forget, I think, just how blessed we are. Seeing our home and family through his eyes broke my heart. The heart hunger that had left its scars in his soul were still evident. But instead of being bitter, he was choosing hope. He was choosing to try to live his life better than he had been raised to live it. 


Those days when this job seems never-ending, it can be easy to lose sight of the blessedness of it all. Even though it's hard and long and steep and heavy, his words reminded me of why we have made the choices we've made. Being in our home for those few minutes, he saw the fruit that we can sometimes take for granted.


The Lord renewed my vision, and my heart, through the annual visit of my friendly septic tank man. And I was so blessed!

How has He reminded you of His Faithfulness this week? What has happened this last month that made you say, "Thank You, Lord!" Have you seen growth in your spirit? In the spirit of your child? Has someone told you how you have blessed them? All of it points us back to our Abba Father and what He is doing in our hearts, in our lives, in our homes. Will you tell us about it here? We LOVE to read about what He is doing in and through you! Grab the button, add it to your post, (or not) and link up a page in your heritage of faith. Add another chapter to the book He is dictating by His Faithfulness every moment of every day as we walk this earth.

My Pet Elephant: A Link Up in "Pages in Our Heritage of Faith"

There has been an elephant in the room for a long time. I have tried and tried, over the years, to dispatch it quietly, privately. I've also tried to simply ignore it and hope it would go away. I've acted like no one else saw it. 


It's still here.


As much as I would rather not discuss it, it's time.


I received confirmation of that through a conversation I had with my brother. He had no idea that his relating of a story about the life of his friend would be used by the Lord to push me toward this post.


It's not pretty. Prepare yourselves.


I struggle with gluttony.


There. 


It's out now. 


Of course, it's not like people can't tell. I'm overweight. And have been for several years now. 


And it's not okay.


It damages His Reputation.


When people know that I am His, but I still have this glaring sin in my life, obvious to anyone who sees me, what does that say about His Power to deliver me from sin? How compelling can my testimony be, with the results of my sin jiggling like a bowl of jello? If someone doesn't know Him, I have already diluted, or polluted, what He might ask me to speak to them. 


It is an area of my life that has not been completely submitted to His Authority.


I have wrestled with it and wrestled with it, knowing that it has been a generational issue in my family, and not wanting to continue to perpetuate it forward to the generations of our family. 


It is all about obedience. Obedience versus the desires of the flesh. And my flesh has been winning.


That's NOT okay.


Not if I truly believe that He calls us to ever increasing levels of personal holiness.


And so, a few weeks ago, He called me to embrace the discipline I have LOATHED for years!! 


Before I go any further, this is what He has called ME to. I am giving testimony of His Faithfulness through His refusal to leave me here. The specifics that I may be asked to follow are between my Father and me. That does NOT mean they automatically transfer to you! Okay? Please do not receive condemnation on any level from this. If He convicts us of sin in our lives, it is for the purpose of moving us to repentance so that we may testify to the Victory.


Back to the elephant.


I would have loved to be able to wait and post a "victory" message. But that wouldn't bring Him Glory right now. And He deserves the Glory right now. The very fact that He will not let me be content being overweight testifies to His call on our lives for personal holiness. When we tell Him He is Lord, we have to mean over everything. 


His Purpose in the timing of this post is Perfect. He wants me to admit there is an elephant in room. He wants me to admit I need Him in this area. He wants me to allow Him to tell me what He requires and for my obedience to be complete, instant, and cheerful--just like the standard of obedience we have for our children.


So as I learn discipline in this area, the Spirit will quicken my hearing. 


His Grace to walk in the Victory Christ won for me on the Cross is already available for my use. I have to choose to use it. 


And so I pray that He will increase my hunger, not for food, but for Him. I need to crave spiritual holiness. I need to die to the flesh and allow Him to feed my spirit.


Remember the post about the word "resolute?" 


Coincidence? 


Not even.


This portion of the journey started in mid December. The duration depends on my willingness to obey. I hope the elephant really is evicted this time. Permanently. The choice is mine to make. The Victory over every single sin out there is already won. Really and truly! It is won! No matter what species of elephant you may own, his eviction notice is written with the blood of Christ!


I'm ready.


His Grace is Sufficient.


Oh, I almost forgot. That dreaded discipline that I have loathed all these years? 


Getting on the scales on a regular basis. 


As if avoidance changed the number on that dial.  I believe that's called DENIAL! :)


Also, I am counting calories. So that I actually have to think about choices throughout the day. He is so very Faithful to teach me to walk in obedience. In every area. 


So for me, 2012 will add a whole new level to my understanding of the word resolute!

How has He been Faithful to you in the last week? In the last year? When you were a little child? Write it down and link it up. We would be blessed by your testimony. Grab the button on the sidebar and add it to your post to invite others here to read these testimonies that are for His Glory. Each week, there is a sense of anticipation that accompanies the clicking of the "Publish Post" button, as I wonder who will link up and what He has done for them. It's wonderful. So hurry up!! We're waiting!! :)

The Ache of a Heart Longing for Home

The more deeply I fall in love with Jesus, the more I long to forever dwell in His Presence. In worship, the ache is often physical. (This one's for YOU, Kirsten! :)  It's not that I'm unhappy here. I'm so very blessed and our life is incredibly rich and fascinating. 


But this is not Home.


And that Truth is becoming more and more real in my soul and my spirit. 


There are so many songs of praise that speak to this "other worldliness" that He created into the fiber of our beings, but one that always "gets me" is this one:

 
There is nothing like standing, surrounded by my family on a Sunday morning, singing this song together. I think I want it sung when He calls me Home.


Another one that makes me weep every single time I hear it is this one:



"If I find in myself desires which nothing in this world can satisfy, the only logical explanation is that I was made for another world."          C. S. Lewis

He wants us to understand the Truth of our situation. He wants us to know that there is more, that we were created for more. There is such strength to be found in recognizing our Citizenship. It frees us from things that could otherwise distract or dilute our mission and message while we walk this Earth. It causes us to discern circumstances correctly. It teaches us "to number out days aright so that we may gain a heart of Wisdom."


And, even though the ache is fierce, it is the most Loving way for Him to allow me to feel. Walking through these years with a heart that is so very tender to His Touch is the desire of my heart. I don't want there to be any hard spots in my spirit, my soul. I want to allow Him to turn my heart of stone into a heart of flesh that quickens to His smallest Whisper. 


It's the opposite of the message that so much of our culture thinks of as truth: that we should be independent, pull ourselves up by our own bootstraps, be dependent on nothing and no one. It is thought that freedom is the absence of need.


True Freedom is being completely and totally dependent, knowing that every need is met only in Him.


As I learn more about the true nature of my need, I give Him thanks. 

You're up! Join the link up and testify to His Faithfulness in your life. We can't wait to read what He has done for you! I love it when you give Him Glory for His Faithful Provision, Protection, Wisdom. Whatever it is, as long as it brings Him Glory for His Faithfulness to you or your family, it's "fair game" for this link up. 

Resolutely

Being shaped into something useful

It's the third day of January, and while we sat in worship Sunday, I was reminded of the verse in Luke where Christ is described as "resolutely" setting His Face toward Jerusalem and His appointment with the Cross. That word is so forceful, so determined. 


He had a mission and nothing on Earth or in Hell could prevent Him from accomplishing it.


How do I approach the "missions" I have been given?

• Daughter of the King
• Wife
• Mother
• Grandmother
• Mother-in-law
• Homeschool teacher
• Homemaker
• Sister
• Friend
• Shepherding couple at church

How seriously do I take these responsibilities, day in and day out? Am I expecting growth in my ability to meet each of these needs? Am I working at it? Studying? Praying? Learning? Or am I complacent, believing I "know enough to get by?" Am I content with the level of growth already attained?

Resolutely.

That word cannot be used with mediocrity. Apathy. Complacency.

I do not believe that thoughts just pop into our heads. I believe those thoughts have a source. 

The evil one loves to "zing us" with arrows of temptation, doubt, unrighteousness. And so when a thought enters my mind that is not holy, righteous, lovely, the source is definitely not the Spirit. It's either my sinful flesh or the enemy.

But when a thought enters my mind that challenges me to be more like Him, there can only be one Source: the Holy Spirit.

So when the verse from Luke entered my mind Sunday morning, the process of elimination immediately rules out two of the three sources, leaving The Spirit. And when He places something in my mind, I need to pay attention. 

Last year, the idea of focusing on specific words for the year helped me grow more aware of striving to become more Christlike in my thoughts, words, and actions. It helped to put the year and its events in context. 

Toward the end of 2011, it seemed there was little, if any, time to focus on the coming year. It was more about trying to keep up with the next thing on the list, with no wiggle room for contemplation. 

So, isn't it just like Him to speak to my spirit during worship on the very first day of the new year? What a Loving Father! What a patient Teacher! What Grace!

Resolutely.

We already know this year will be filled to overflowing with His Blessings. Our calendar for 2012 has several major family events on it, and we're only three days in. Kregg is less than a month into his new job and the learning curve is extreme. There's a wedding and trips to plan. There is so much that could distract. So much that could dilute.

But if I am to be resolute in learning what He has for me in the next twelve months, He must help me focus. He must help me be intentional. I love the analogy of a laser: light that is so focused, it can cut through just about anything. When His Light is focused in my spirit, change will come, growth will come. I will become a more effective tool in His Hand. I will be more disciplined, more aware. 

That all sounds so very serious.

And I must confess that I can be too serious at times. I can be too "shortest distance between two points." I can be guilty of missing the vast reserves of Joy in each and every moment of each and every day. I don't want to miss an ounce. Of the Joy or the Growth. 

So 2012 is, for me, a time to be resolute in focusing on Him and the jobs He has given me to accomplish for His Glory.

How does that affect the choices I will make in each of the roles He has assigned to me?

The key will be prayer. Prayer. Prayer. Prayer. That is the only way for me to be resolute. He will call me to prayer. And He will meet me there and change me. It gives me such an exciting sense of anticipation! I truly feel like a very significant journey has begun. I pray I will not be distracted.

Lessons Learned (or Affirmed) in the Last Year: A Link-Up in "Pages in Our Heritage of Faith"

I still need to allow Him to purify my heart.


I still need to choose to receive the Grace He makes available, every moment of every day.


Without yielding my expectations, I easily become impatient.


My children are constantly learning from me, my best and my worst.


My heart can still expand to love more people, and love them more deeply.


I am still selfish.


There is still sanctification to take place in my heart through the most mundane tasks of homemaking.


As the reality that this world is not my home burrows deeper into my heart, it causes the pull of "here" to loosen its hold on my soul.


He is Faithful. Always.


My children are agents of free will and still need to be covered in prayer.


The skies do proclaim His Glory. Everyday. 


Discipline is a blessing.


The fruit He bears through us is ALL His doing.


It is a blessing to be completely submitted to the authority of my husband.


My heart knows Peace in proportion to my level of surrender to His Will.


I must allow Him to number my days aright that I might gain a heart of Wisdom.


The only way for me to take a single step in Victory is to be focused on Him.


Stuff will never make anyone happy.


The choice to be fully present in each moment makes all the difference in the quality of relationships.


I do not need to be understood. I simply need to trust Him to be my Defender.


Pride drives my tongue too often.


Perfect Love does cast out fear.


He provides Wisdom for mothers in perfect portions, and at perfect times.


He can redeem ANYTHING.


We need a bigger Vision! For He is able to do more than we ever imagined.


I can still be quite judgmental.


The Body of Christ is so very precious and so very powerful.


I am SO BLESSED!


He still has plans for the Antbed.


I need to be more faithful in prayer.


Time in our most valuable resource.


When He trusts us with "more," He will grant the Wisdom needed to bring Him more Glory.


The season of life in which we now find ourselves is one which He has been preparing us for all our lives. That is a sobering perspective, that should be driving us to more prayer.


I could go on and on and on. The point is, the Lord is so Faithfully speaking to me, teaching me, stretching me, disciplining me. And I want to be a good student as we begin a new year. 

How has He shown Himself Faithful in your life? Will you testify of His Faithfulness? Write it down!! Share it with your children! We need to glorify Him for what He does in our lives. We need to acknowledge His Faithfulness and give Him thanks. We need to think about it and pay attention. Otherwise, we can become forgetful, ungrateful, unaware. His Faithfulness can be seen in every moment of our days in ways we may not even recognize. The very fact that I am able to draw my next breath testifies to His Faithfulness to provide the air and to allow my lungs to function. Looking for His Faithfulness in my life causes my heart to assume the posture of humility that is appropriate before the Almighty God, Whom we are blessed to call Abba.


Will you share a page in your story? It can be something you wrote a long time ago or something you write today. It can be about any way He has been Faithful to you, to your family. Your testimony blesses those whom you share it with. Grab the button in the sidebar and add it to your post, please, so that others may join us here and hear of His Faithfulness. May He be Glorified by every word.

Ministering to Adoptive Parents

If you've hung around here for any length of time, you've heard our adoption story. Seven years into the journey, the Lord has brought us so far. He has carried us through the "long, dark night of the soul." He has been our foundation and anchor through the storms that raged as He formed us into a family of nine. Only He truly knew what it took to bring us this far. Only He was able to it. In our strength and wisdom, it would have been completely impossible. 


He wanted us to be completely dependent on Him. He wanted us to recognize our weakness so that we would stay focused on Him. He knew Josh and Ben would need to see us walking out the faith that simply does the next thing He tells us to do. Our biological children needed to walk that same path, believing in His Grace to accomplish His Will. 


As I've shared before, it was a very lonely journey. Our friends couldn't understand the dynamics of what was going on in our hearts, in our home. Everything looked, from the outside, like it was picture perfect. That was not an image we tried to create. We were actually frustrated that that is what people thought our life was like. 


When the Lord places someone in your family that you didn't birth, especially if it is not an infant being adopted, there is no "switch" to flip so that your heart automatically feels the depth of Love that has grown over years for children you gave birth to. If that is your expectation going into an adoption, you're probably going to be in for a bumpy ride. We didn't understand how difficult it could be to walk through the process of allowing the Lord to transplant children into our hearts, into our family. 


The "transplant surgery" is worth all the pain. But the pain is real and it is very intense. The evil one loves to whisper lies to you about His Sufficiency, trying to shake your faith in His ability to accomplish His Purposes through what He has asked of you. 


And this finally brings me to the point I hoped to make.


You probably know someone who has adopted a child. Even if all appearances lead you to believe that things are wonderful, they still need your prayers and encouragement. What an incredible blessing you can be to a mother or father who are walking out a very difficult calling. 


Why not drop them a note of encouragement, telling them you are praying for them?


You could write out a blessing for their new child and send it to them.


If you are able, offer to watch their children and give the parents a night out. It can be very hard, especially in the first few months, for the parents to have any time to themselves because newly adopted children can require constant supervision. Josh and Ben couldn't be left alone for a moment during the first several months they were here.


You could write out a prayer and drop it in the mail to them.


Get a couple of your friends to help you prepare a meal for the adoptive family. 


Often, after the initial "buzz" has worn off a few months into the journey, most people may think that the hard part is over. In reality, that can be when the "honeymoon" phase is over and the real work of training in values and undoing wrong values begins. That's the perfect time to let the adoptive parents know that you are still faithfully lifting them up in prayer. Call them and ask if you can drop by to pray over the family. What a blessing that will be to them! 


Tell them that they can call you anytime and simply say, "Pray now!" When they are in the midst of an intense session of training or spiritual warfare, knowing they can call for backup through prayer is like offering to be a safety net to them.


Ask for specific prayer needs for the family. It may be that dishonesty is a huge problem for the new child. You can make it a daily prayer that the new child will "desire Truth in the innermost places." When you join them in faithful prayer for a specific issue, you are offering incredible support. You are helping them wage war against spiritual strongholds in the spirit of the new child.


Be a listening ear for a mom whose heart is worn and weary. You don't have to offer answers. Just listen. By offering that service, you are assisting her in carrying the incredible weight of the spiritual burden she is bearing for "the least of these." 


Pray specifically for the Lord to build a hedge of protection around the adoptive family so that the attack of the evil one will be rendered powerless. You can be certain the family will be under attack because the evil one does not want that child to be set free from any generational curses or sins. 


Remember the story where Joshua and Aaron were holding Moses' arms up while the battle raged? That is what you can do for adoptive parents. Committing to pray on a regular basis for an extended time can offer an incredible amount of support and encouragement. They need support for years. You cannot imagine the blessing your ministry to them would be! 


The picture at the top of this post is from our trip to Alaska last year. It just seemed the perfect visual representation of how tenuous things can feel when you step out onto a path that is completely unknown, completely unpredictable, changing your entire family forever. To have faithful, loving prayer support and coverage is the best gift possible. Is there someone you could support in this way? 

The Essential Nature of Humility in Parenting

As we all seek to raise our children in the nurture and admonition of the Lord, the posture of our hearts is of critical importance.


As our babies begin to grow up and exert their "free will," the need for discipline becomes obvious. If we are wise, we will approach discipline with a humility of spirit. If we recognize our position as a sinner saved by Grace before a Holy God, we will be well equipped to provide proper, positive discipline for our kiddos. 


Instead of growing angry because of their wrong choices, we will be able to speak Truth to them in Love for the purpose of conviction that moves them to repentance and restoration to a right relationship with us, and through honoring us, with Him. 


Without proper humility, this is impossible. Discipline doled out from an attitude of pride will not have the same impact. When I harbor pride in my heart, I am thinking of myself. I am irritated that my children are not abiding by my wishes. I am embarrassed because I believe their poor behavior reflects badly on me. I am frustrated that my expectations have not been met.


When discipline is administered in pride, it can provoke a poor response in them. They sense in their spirits that I am the one offended and, since they know first hand that I am a sinner, they can feel justified in their hearts for a sinful response to my wrong motives. This doesn't excuse them. But it is my responsibility, as a parent, to model for them the proper relationship to authority. When I do, they receive discipline from me differently.


When parenting from a humble heart, the grief felt over our children not living up to the Lord's Expectations is recognized by their spirit. They come to understand that they are responsible to the Lord for their obedience and that we, as parents, are simply the Lord's "agents" to help teach them to walk humbly before their God. 


Walking in humility of spirit before God requires parents to follow the Biblical admonition to keep a clear conscience before Him. So when I sin before my children, I need to confess my wrong choice and ask their forgiveness for setting a poor example for them. Our integrity is essential. Our children know if we are "walking our talk." If we hold them to a different standard than we hold ourselves to, they know that. Yes, they are still responsible for choosing well, but my influence with them is damaged.


Humility in parenting does not in any way mean you are lax in your requirement that their obedience is instant, cheerful, and complete. In fact, there is actually more "power" in the gentle and quiet condition of your spirit when you are truly humble before the Lord as you lead your children to Him through your daily example, than there is in screaming, ranting, or raving at them.


I haven't always done this well. I am so thankful He continues to teach me how to be a better parent. I am so thankful He redeems all the times I haven't disciplined in Love.

She Was Slipping Away: A Link-Up in "Pages in Our Heritage of Faith"

This is my mom during the few months she lived in the Alzheimer's Unit here. We had moved my parents near us because there was no place for her where they lived. By the time this picture was taken, most of her memories were gone. She knew that she knew me, but she couldn't remember why. She couldn't remember my name. 


It was such an incredible blessing that she was so happy during those months. She simply smiled or laughed the majority of the time.


It had taken several years for the disease to progress that far, though. Looking back, it's hard to know when it all began. There were odd clues sprinkled through those early years that something wasn't right. But there is one Thanksgiving that stands out vividly in my memory as the point where there was no longer any doubt. Living 300+ miles away, that realization was probably slower in coming than it would have been had we seen her more often.


But I will never forget that Thanksgiving morning when my mother, who had always prepared a wonderful feast for all of us, stood in the middle of her kitchen with a blank look on her face and said, "I don't think I've ever made dressing before." Her dressing had been one of the highlights of the yearly celebration. But suddenly, it was gone. She had no idea how to fix it any more. She had no memory of ever having made dressing.


As I sat there reeling from the shock and the grief, my precious husband, without missing a beat, said, "Doris, you don't worry about that. I will make the dressing for you." She thanked him. And I loved him so much in that moment. She went on about her list of things to do. We helped when her mind went blank. And my husband made the dressing for us. And it was delicious. He's been making it ever since. 


Later that same day, things got ugly.


It was all so new to us then that we didn't understand. We didn't understand that when she became tired, the frustration level for her would reach a boiling point. She grew very irritated and vocally angry with our children. They weren't misbehaving, but it suddenly became unbearable for her to have them in the house. We were unsure what to do. But Kregg and I knew we had to leave. Right then. We gathered up the kids and explained that we were going to have to change our plans and go. I remember making it out to our car with the kids, loading them all up and sitting there in the driveway crying. 


"That's NOT my mother!" I screamed through blinding tears and pain. 


Kregg was my rock in that moment. 


I told him we couldn't stay there another night. He found us a hotel. I knew our budget was really tight, so his gesture meant even more. His goal was to protect his family, and he would do whatever it took to accomplish that goal. 


I see Kregg's faithfulness to us and in Kregg's faithfulness, I see the Faithfulness of my Father. Kregg was the Provision for me in that crisis of my soul. Through him, my Father provided for us. As painful as that day was for me, and still is when I think of it, I can't remember the pain without also remembering the Provision. My Father WILL supply ALL of my needs. Period. End of story.


And in those moments when my heart shatters in pieces over whatever new grief this life holds, I know beyond a shadow of a doubt, to the marrow of my bones, that I am not and never will be alone. Ever. And the Peace that fills my spirit testifies to His Faithfulness. Even in the darkness that seems devoid of hope, His Provision is already there before I even know of my need. 


I never need fear. His Faithfulness is the very nature of His Being. He cannot deny it. He cannot act contrary to it. He will always be and has forever been Faithful.

It's Friday again. You know what that means if you have frequented the Antbed for more than a week. This is where I say, "Tell me your story. Tell me of His Faithfulness. Declare it. Write it down. Add a Page to Your Heritage of Faith." Grab the button in the sidebar and add it to your linked up post, please, so that others may understand what we are doing here. Your post can be anything about how the Lord has shown Himself Faithful to you, to your family. 


We want to intentionally, habitually take notes so that "the next generation will put their trust in the Lord." Begin a volume of Pages that tell of what He has done for you, through you, in you. We are a people of forgetfulness. We need reminders. And these reminders, as they accumulate, provide us with ammunition to combat the lies of the evil one, as he hatefully whispers lies in our ears that our Father doesn't move on our behalf, that He doesn't care about us. Collect your stories. Create a strong heritage of those stories for your family, for future generations.  

Decision Time: A Link Up in "Pages in Our Heritage of Faith"

"My God is SO Big, SO Strong, and SO Mighty, there's NOTHING my God cannot do!"

Our life is complicated, lots of "moving parts," lots of "variables," each piece in the puzzle affecting the others. At this stage in our lives, our choices have widespread consequences. It's always that way, in every stage, but it seems to be even more pronounced than ever before for us because of the season of life in which we find ourselves. 


Because of that, decisions, more than ever, need to be bathed in prayer. 


We know we do not have the "foresight" to anticipate all of the consequences that would radiate out from a major decision in our lives. We need His Guidance, His Wisdom, because He DOES know. He knows how any particular decision would affect the two of us, our children, our son-in-law, our grandson, our church, our friends, and the ripples go out from there to a horizon we cannot see. Not only are there immediate effects, but there are also future effects. 


We have been in a time of decision making for our family. Kregg has been at the same company for 25 years. He has a great job and the Lord has blessed us richly through it. During those years, he has been approached several times by other companies who wanted to offer him a job. He has always graciously declined. Until now. This opportunity has caused MUCH reflection on where we're headed, which is always a good thing--allowing Him to continue to sift us and refine our aims and goals. 


I like to ask the Lord for specifics when I need direction. Remember Gideon's fleece? He asked for specific, definite direction because he desperately wanted to do exactly what the Lord wanted of him. I have prayed for that kind of direction many times over the years, and the Lord, in His most precious Mercy, has answered. Over and over and over again. 


There have also been times when we haven't received specific, definite marching orders. Looking back, I know I have at times allowed fear to make some decisions and there have been other times when I arrogantly felt my wisdom sufficient for the situation, to step into a choice without truly bathing it in prayer. How foolish! 


Having seen His direct answers before, why would I ever, ever choose on my own?


His Patience amazes me. Constantly amazes me. He continues to show me the better way. He continues to tame my stubborn spirit, wooing me, teaching me to be more and more dependent on Him for everything.


When confronted with the choice we just faced, I asked the Lord to make it abundantly clear so that no "guessing" would be required. I had no idea how He would accomplish it. But He did. The choice could not have been any clearer! It is miraculous! From our point of view, neither direction was "bad." There were very strong arguments to be made for either choice. But we didn't want to "reason" it out. We didn't want to weigh them on a balance of our own making, bound by the variables we could see. We wanted Him to reveal His Will for us. And we asked Him to do just that. 


Going forward from here, that answered prayer will serve as an anchor for our faith, knowing there will be challenges down this new path. Knowing that He is guiding our way gives us Peace and the confidence that His Provision for this new direction will be perfectly perfect. And so we give Him all the Glory. He is so very Faithful and His blessings are without measure. 

It's Friday again. You know what that means if you have frequented the Antbed for more than a week. This is where I say, "Tell me your story. Tell me of His Faithfulness. Declare it. Write it down. Add a Page to Your Heritage of Faith." Grab the button in the sidebar and add it to your linked up post, please, so that others may understand what we are doing here. Your post can be anything about how the Lord has shown Himself Faithful to you, to your family. We want to intentionally, habitually take notes so that "the next generation will put their trust in the Lord." Begin a volume of Pages that tell of what He has done for you, through you, in you. We are a people of forgetfulness. We need reminders. And these reminders, as they accumulate, provide us with ammunition to combat the lies of the evil one as he whispers in our ears that He doesn't move on our behalf, that He doesn't care about us. Collect your stories. Create a strong heritage of those stories for your family, for future generations.