Traveling Lightly

If you know us at all, you know we love to hop in a vehicle or two and take off for destinations near and far. As many trips as we have made, one would think that I might have learned by now to pack more lightly. 

Nope.

My imagination conjures up images of all the lovely opportunities we will have to experience a myriad of wonderfully enriching, exciting, educational, ennobling, and edifying events. 

And I pack accordingly.

Of course, we end up not needing a large percentage of the equipment I meticulously arranged, piecing it all in like a jigsaw puzzle so that there actually is some room left for the boring stuff, like clothes.

Now don't get me wrong, we have used many of the resources we drag along with us for thousands of miles. But, the energy expended to continually manage the multitude of items realistically needs to be weighed against the actual fruit borne. 

A musical interlude here for one of Michael Card's classics. I'm stretching the application a little, but I want to expand it beyond packing too much for a road trip, and beyond owning possessions that end up owning us. 

The Lord has been impressing upon us a new lesson for a new season.


Not only am I learning to shrink our packing lists for trips, but we are asking questions about shedding things that would prevent us from being flexible enough to go any direction the Lord asks us to go. What if He doesn't intend for us to continue to "settle in" where we are, with what we are doing now, expecting that to be the pattern for the rest of our lives? What if He wanted to prepare us to do something radically different than what we've always known?


He's done it before.


One example was several years ago. Kregg and I ended up on a plane to far eastern Siberia to bring home two little brothers for the five children He'd already blessed us with. He prepared us ahead of time, before we ever knew adoption was on the radar.


We find ourselves on the very cusp of a season that offers the potential for much more flexibility for our family than we've experienced for the past two decades. There are options potentially opening to us that cause us to ask the question: Is He preparing us for something that we may not anticipate?


We don't know.


But the thought keeps going around in our hearts that we need to be more careful than ever about any additional long-term commitments. We need to allow Him to tell us exactly what He wants us to use this season for so that we are not so encumbered by responsibilities that we can't respond when He asks us to, however He asks us to. We need to allow Him to keep our hearts open, so that we don't reject anything He might have for us.


That's kind of scary.


What if we don't like what He asks of us? What if He wants us to do something really nuts? 


We have to stand on the fact that, whatever He asks of us, His Grace will be sufficient for obedience. 


It may be that what we're doing now is what He'll have us doing when we're 90. Even if that's the case, learning to travel lightly will make us more efficient in any of the responsibilities He's already given us. Carrying more than He intends wearies our souls. If He ever plans to change our course, learning to travel lightly now will allow us to be ready when He calls. 


When we look at how Jesus walked this earth, He was completely unencumbered from ANYTHING that would interfere with His Purpose. He didn't own a bunch of stuff. He didn't commit to anything that would keep Him from moving toward His appointment in Jerusalem.  


I love The Message translation for Matthew 11:28-30:
"Are you tired? Worn out? Burned out on religion? Come to me. Get away with me and you'll recover your life. I'll show you how to take a real rest. Walk with me and work with me—watch how I do it. Learn the unforced rhythms of grace. I won't lay anything heavy or ill-fitting on you. Keep company with me and you'll learn to live freely and lightly."


That's the desire of our hearts in this season: to live freely and lightly in the unforced rhythms of Grace. Taking that as a mission statement helps us to have the wisdom and discernment to choose well how best to go forward from here.

Our First Responsibility: Our Family

"The most discerning audience we will ever have is our own family. They know precisely whether or not our life matches our message.  Only when we pass the test of consistent living at home are we qualified to expand our ministry. Our family responsibilities are not barriers to a future ministry; they are basic training for it. For example, the skills David leaned in order to protect and feed the family flock were later used to conquer a giant and feed a nation. The skills  church leaders learns in order to meet the needs of his own family will be used to understand and meet the needs of the church. This explains why Christ told a certain man to go home to his family and first demonstrate his faith to them."

I've mentioned it before, but one of the very favorite resources used by our family are the three volumes of Character Sketches. The quote above is from one of the four chapters on the character quality of Availability in volume 2. The definition for Availability being studied in this chapter says:

"Availability is serving my family first before I consider other needs or wants."                          I Timothy 5:8

Our homes are our training grounds. Walking in the fullness of understanding in what He desires to accomplish in our souls through the responsibilities we carry at home puts even the mundane tasks in a different light. If we truly believe that everything we do in our home, before or for our family, is for His Glory and our sanctification, we can't treat any of it as unimportant. 


Don't hear a burden in this, hear an opportunity. 


If we understand just how much He desires to accomplish in our souls through ministry in our homes, to our families, it actually gives us more Grace (defined as the power and desire to do His Will). It actually energizes our Purpose and plants seeds of exciting expectation as we await the Fruit He will bring forth, not only in our hearts, but in our home, our children, our spouse. 


As we focus on the ministry of the Home and Hearth, it helps us say "no" to things that are not for this season. By refining our purpose, we are granted discernment to see requests for the expenditure of our resources in the context of our main focused responsibility in this season. When we clearly see our responsibility, it helps us commit to only those things that will bless our purpose in this season, knowing that, as we are faithful, He prepares us for expanded ministry in the next season.


We would be wise not to despise the season of "small things." Small does NOT mean unimportant. Instead, these "small things," the ones seen by only a few, are extremely important if we are to be fitted well for His Purposes. Focusing on the "small things" is the only way to learn to be used in the "big things," where our influence and ministry are expanded by Him to accomplish His Purposes. In our families, the small things all matter. And, if we pay attention to our hearts here, He will purify and build into us a foundation on which can be built expanded areas of influence and ministry, by His Hand, in His Time. 


My family see me clearly. They know when I am chaffing under the yoke of ministry in our home. They know when I am despising the season of small things. They recognize when my attitude is not that of a servant, joyfully ministering in my responsibilities. And in those times when I am centered on self, I miss out on the potential to influence, the blessing of serving, the opportunity to humble myself. Every time I choose poorly, it costs our family something. None of my choices, as a wife and mother, are made in a vacuum. They all affect those He has given me to serve. And they cost me, in rejecting an opportunity to be made more into His Image in that moment of choice.


It is no accident that I still have several children at home (all day :). The refining of the "silver for the Silversmith's use" is requiring decades, in my case. I'm a "tough nut to crack." 

This Season of Preparation

The weeks drag on for Mackenzy. She wrestles with her heart. With her fiance over 400 miles away, both of them working lots of hours, taking lots of classes, and having schedules that are mostly opposites, phone calls are few and far between, and it makes the waiting harder for her. She misses him. He misses her. And it's easy for them to just want the waiting to hurry up and be over.


Plans for the wedding are progressing. We have lots of the big pieces in place, but there are still millions of tiny details to determine. And during all the planning and working and studying, preparations need to be made in their hearts.


It's always a transition, learning to live together. It requires so much Grace. Even when you are deeply in Love, there will be sharp edges that need to be smoothed away. Preparing your heart to humbly walk the path of becoming one requires lots of prayer.


And that's what we are encouraging Mackenzy to do: trust the Lord for His Purposes in this season and don't miss the lessons available in the next few months.


During seasons that are unpleasant, the temptation is to wish them away. We can be tempted to shift into a survival mentality, planning to go through the motions, hoping the time will pass quickly and the unpleasant season will be over. 


But if we succumb to that temptation, we can miss learning things the Lord has for us in those unique times and circumstances. As students in His Classroom during this life, there are always lessons to be learned, Blessings to be found in His work on our hearts. 


Are our eyes open?


Do we expect Him to teach us in every situation? Every season?


The rate of our growth toward spiritual maturity is directly affected by our attentiveness "in class." When we expect lessons, we can often see Purpose where we otherwise would only chafe under unpleasant circumstances. 


There's always a lesson to learn that will help make us more into the image of Christ and to better prepare us for what lies ahead. Are we being good "students?"


Mackenzy is learning. And so are we. During these last few months with her living at home, we don't want to miss any lessons He has for us.


May we each walk in Wisdom, trusting His Purpose in all the circumstances He allows into our lives.

Less Can Be More

It's a cloudy, overcast day here and we have received enough moisture for the driveway to be wet. Loving that. How we appreciate the gift of moisture!


After the frenetic pace we have kept for the past few months, since Thanksgiving in fact, a day that urges us to snuggle into our nest and enjoy quiet, still, peaceful pursuits is such a blessing.


The pace we set for ourselves has so much to do with fruitfulness. Our minds can tell us that "more is better." Often, the truly productive times are when we are attempting less, but are focused more intently. 


Allowing the Lord to make our "to do" list keeps us from being spread too thin, from being excellent at nothing. Mediocrity is the enemy of Excellence.


This time of year, the post holiday-pre-spring break weeks, are when we settle back into the rhythm of our days, without a lot of the interruption characteristic of the holidays. It is a time to be intentional. A time to allow things that don't bear fruit to fall away, refining the expenditure of our time and energies to be focused and effective.


We find ourselves always with choices to make, options to consider, opportunities to weigh. But this time of the year begs us to moderate activity. To trust that He will accomplish His Purposes through us, even when it feels like we aren't accomplishing a great deal. Even when we could "do more," less is often a wiser choice in the long run. 


Days like today remind me of that.


The things that won't fit well into today are probably not for today. 

Lessons Learned (or Affirmed) in the Last Year: A Link-Up in "Pages in Our Heritage of Faith"

I still need to allow Him to purify my heart.


I still need to choose to receive the Grace He makes available, every moment of every day.


Without yielding my expectations, I easily become impatient.


My children are constantly learning from me, my best and my worst.


My heart can still expand to love more people, and love them more deeply.


I am still selfish.


There is still sanctification to take place in my heart through the most mundane tasks of homemaking.


As the reality that this world is not my home burrows deeper into my heart, it causes the pull of "here" to loosen its hold on my soul.


He is Faithful. Always.


My children are agents of free will and still need to be covered in prayer.


The skies do proclaim His Glory. Everyday. 


Discipline is a blessing.


The fruit He bears through us is ALL His doing.


It is a blessing to be completely submitted to the authority of my husband.


My heart knows Peace in proportion to my level of surrender to His Will.


I must allow Him to number my days aright that I might gain a heart of Wisdom.


The only way for me to take a single step in Victory is to be focused on Him.


Stuff will never make anyone happy.


The choice to be fully present in each moment makes all the difference in the quality of relationships.


I do not need to be understood. I simply need to trust Him to be my Defender.


Pride drives my tongue too often.


Perfect Love does cast out fear.


He provides Wisdom for mothers in perfect portions, and at perfect times.


He can redeem ANYTHING.


We need a bigger Vision! For He is able to do more than we ever imagined.


I can still be quite judgmental.


The Body of Christ is so very precious and so very powerful.


I am SO BLESSED!


He still has plans for the Antbed.


I need to be more faithful in prayer.


Time in our most valuable resource.


When He trusts us with "more," He will grant the Wisdom needed to bring Him more Glory.


The season of life in which we now find ourselves is one which He has been preparing us for all our lives. That is a sobering perspective, that should be driving us to more prayer.


I could go on and on and on. The point is, the Lord is so Faithfully speaking to me, teaching me, stretching me, disciplining me. And I want to be a good student as we begin a new year. 

How has He shown Himself Faithful in your life? Will you testify of His Faithfulness? Write it down!! Share it with your children! We need to glorify Him for what He does in our lives. We need to acknowledge His Faithfulness and give Him thanks. We need to think about it and pay attention. Otherwise, we can become forgetful, ungrateful, unaware. His Faithfulness can be seen in every moment of our days in ways we may not even recognize. The very fact that I am able to draw my next breath testifies to His Faithfulness to provide the air and to allow my lungs to function. Looking for His Faithfulness in my life causes my heart to assume the posture of humility that is appropriate before the Almighty God, Whom we are blessed to call Abba.


Will you share a page in your story? It can be something you wrote a long time ago or something you write today. It can be about any way He has been Faithful to you, to your family. Your testimony blesses those whom you share it with. Grab the button in the sidebar and add it to your post, please, so that others may join us here and hear of His Faithfulness. May He be Glorified by every word.

Blessed Days: Link Up a Page in Your Heritage of Faith

The blessings come in waves. The sheer volume threatens at times to overwhelm. It feels like standing in the ocean as the breakers crash, causing a loss of balance. 


Not all blessings are gentle, warm.


They aren't all things that would be freely chosen.


But they are blessings, still.


Because He uses all to fashion us according to His Purposes, for His Use. 


Yet, a choice must be made:


How to respond?


Joyfully receive from His Hand in humility, with thankfulness and gratitude, trusting that everything He sends this way is the most loving way possible He can achieve in us/through us what He desires; that it all does work together for Good?


Or . . .


Like a spoiled child, chafe under the friction the gift may produce as it sands away the rough places in our souls, even rejecting the gift completely because "it's too hard," failing to recognize that by so doing, the very deepest longing of my heart is self-destructively thwarted? 


In looking more closely, does the response chosen define it as blessing or burden? Doesn't the response, in part, determine the scope of the effect on the eternal? When asked to carry heavy responsibility, isn't the degree and quality of potential influence wielded through that opportunity measured by the attitude under which that responsibility is borne? How much of that precious resource is squandered simply because of a poor choice in attitude? 


As one who influences with and without choice, the principles involved are critical. I have no "right" to choose wrongly. No matter what request is made of me by Him. 


And yet, He must constantly remind me of that. He must constantly remind me, refine me, reprogram me so that every thought is truly a slave to Love. Love is not my first language. It's probably not even in the top three. But slowly, diligently, relentlessly my Comforter and Teacher remakes me into His Image. 


This year, He asked me to focus on Blessing and Being. As the year winds down, it is amazing to reflect on the depth of His Faithful instruction in these things. Reminded, painfully reminded, of what used to be the "norm," the standard to which I strove to measure maturity of self, I am broken. How could that ever have been enough for one bearing His Name? How could it ever have been acceptable to be as unloving as what used to feel comfortable? 


May next year find me in this same position as I look back on today. May it be that He has refined more and more dross, skimming it by whatever means and measures He desires. And may I count it all gain. All blessing.


All these blessings are mine because I am clothed in Him and He is working in me to bring glory to Himself. It is all about Him. May I receive them each with an open heart, completely trusting His Craftsmanship, never dictating the terms on which they will be received. 


His Faithfulness is unwavering. He WILL accomplish His Purposes. 

Will you testify of His Faithfulness, sharing with us what He has done for you? It can be something old, something new, something "earth shattering," or the tiniest whisper to your spirit. Testify. Write it down and add it to the Heritage of Faith He is writing for you, in you, for your family and the future generations. He IS showing Himself Faithful. Are we paying attention? Are we taking notes? We should. It's important. As we walk through this life, the evil one will try to cause us to forget what He has done for us. Write it down. Compile the stories. The sheer volume of the pages will testify for Him. And our faith will grow as we remember. 

Things Have Been Nuts

Kregg helping the two youngest take the online portion of their hunter's safety training.

Blogging has been pushed to the back of the stove here lately. There's just been no time. As you know, some big changes have taken place in the Antbed, the biggest one being Caleb moving away for college. Between getting Caleb settled in to college, a trip with our youth from church, a family reunion and scouting trips for a new deer lease, we have kept the road hot. Okay, it was already hot. It's just a figure of speech.


Our homeschool began a new season with a new schedule and new challenges. We are part of the shepherding team at church and haven't been as in touch as we should have with our little "sheeples" this summer, so that has to change. Now! 


A big addition to our weekly calendar of commitments is being considered for one of our little chickadees. It has to do with an orange ball and a little hoop. 


We have also joined the "Life Guard" team to help teach and encourage the youth at church. Because that meets on Sunday night, our small group Bible study that usually meets at our house at that time is going to have to be rescheduled. Which then causes two other Bible study groups we are involved with to be affected. We haven't exactly figured all of that out yet. 


Then there's the prayer ministry that has been running all summer and finishes up this month with Saturdays being "my day." 


There are many projects in the works around here. Always.


Oh yes, then there's the Tabernacle Experience which comes to our church at the end of this month. I am the project coordinator for that. 

Over the weekend, Jeremiah, Hannah, and Samuel flew into town so we could celebrate Hannah's birthday. Kregg decided to cook for the occasion. Which meant buying 5 briskets, sausage, pork loins, and ribs and borrowing the big grilling trailer from the office. 

We made a quick trip, 150 miles each way, Monday night to take Caleb to dinner. He couldn't come home, too much reading to do, and so we just decided we'd waited long enough to hug that scruffy neck.


I always preach about being over committed: "Don't do it!" I often say, and yet here I am. It's time to finish some things up and not add anything else to the list, right? So if the Antbed looks a little more frenetic than normal, now you know why. And if I don't make it to all the normal little corners of this blogging world that I try to visit, it is NOT because I don't love you. :)

Hearts Are Still Tender

I miss hearing his praise and worship music playing in his room.


I miss saying, "I love you," as he walked out the door.


I miss dishing him up a big plate of supper.


I miss hearing his motorcycle pull into the garage or his Jeep into the driveway.


I miss his laughter.


I miss his ready smile.


I miss those long conversations where we would talk about the Big Things in Life.


I miss the wrestling matches breaking out.


I miss the sheepish grin followed by, "Could you iron my shirt?"


I miss him asking if he could show me a new worship song he had found on iTunes.


I miss the sound of him coming down the hall from his room.


I miss him telling me about another answered prayer.


I miss sitting beside him.


I miss his hugs.


I miss seeing the faces of his siblings lighting up when he came home.


I miss him taking them on errands with him, seeing their smiles.


I miss him calling for his dog.


I miss him encouraging his younger brothers and sisters to honor us.


I miss hearing him play his guitar, his mandolin, his keyboard, even his drums.


I miss doing things for him and seeing him smile.


I miss him coming to show me a special passage in a book he's reading.


I miss him coming to tell me about another book he wants to add to his library. 


But then I think about what this new season is all about, for him and for us. 


He believes he is in training for the Vision God has placed in his heart. The equipping that will take place, because of His Faithfulness, over the next three years fills my heart with such anticipation! My role has changed in his life to one more defined by prayer support. I keep praying the Lord will keep Caleb's focus on the Vision; that he won't be distracted or diluted during this season. In fact, I pray that the Lord will bring that Vision into a clearer and clearer focus. 


Meanwhile, the chemistry of our home life has taken on a new flavor. And it is Glorious! We are able to spend more time with the ones still here (5). There is a hint of excitement in the air around here because each of the five remaining ones are entering such new territory in their lives. 


Mackenzy is in her senior year of college, graduating in May. She is exploring all kinds of ideas for ministry through creative business ideas. Doors are opening for her, ideas are overflowing her brain, new contacts are appearing that are excited to hear what she's thinking, and then they are giving her more ideas. Her enthusiasm is contagious. Her passion is inspiring. What will it all look like? How will the Lord use her giftings and talents to accomplish the Vision He is giving her?


We are entering a new season in the Body Life with the four youngest as we step into a type of mentoring role with the youth where we worship. We've "stepped things up a notch" in our homeschooling as they become ready for more challenges. They are learning to walk out their Faith in new ways. They are learning new skills and to stretch themselves in new areas of learning outside all the book work. We are finding more time for family read alouds and the kids love to have Dad sitting in on a great story with them. 


The Lord knows best. He has Faithfully brought us to this point and prepared us for this transition. It's all Good. And even though it costs our hearts so much to let another one leave the nest, He more than makes up for it with the Fruit He bears in our family through the healthy growth of our children. 


And so it's time for another Link Up. This is your chance to testify to His Faithfulness. I LOVE reading your stories!!!! If you link up every week, thank you! If you've never jumped in, come on. The water's fine! :)  How has He shown Himself Faithful to you or your family? Is there an old favorite family story? Or did something happen today to remind you of it? You can link up anything you have, old or new, that testifies to the Faithfulness of our God. Grab the button from the right sidebar and add it to your post if you want to invite others to join us.  

Book Review: Family-Based Youth Ministry

". . . teenagers learn best when they are surrounded by those who know more than they do, namely their own parents or other adults in the church."


This is the premise on which this vision-casting book for youth ministry is based. Mark DeVries has ministered to youth for years and the principles in the book were borne out of his frustration in making a lasting impact on the students that went through his "youth group." Even the ones he thought had been radically changed during the years of his ministry rarely went on to become adults who were maturing in their Christian walk. The ones who did grow into vibrant Christian adults were almost exclusively ones on whom his ministry made little impact. He says they would have grown into mature Christians even if they hadn't gone through his program. Why? Because they each had mature Christian adults, usually their parents, who were engaged in their lives. 


Out of this revelation, DeVries decided to completely refocus his view of ministry to youth. The program that he now facilitates is one that focuses on creating and enriching cross generational relationships within the Body of Christ. 


"The Christian faith becomes real to most teenagers not because of rational arguments for Christianity or because they try like crazy to hang on to what they believe, but because real people live out the gospel in what may seem like very insignificant ways."


So much of "youth ministry" today is "program-based." One of my favorite chapters in the book was examining Christ's ministry and recognizing the differences between it and what we come up with today.


"It is startling to realize the lack of programmatic focus in Jesus' ministry. He had no organizational chart, no planning team, no curriculum, and no ten-year long-range mission statement. Jesus' first priority in calling his disciples was 'that they might be with him.'" (Mk 3:14)


We all learn best by walking alongside the one we are learning from. There's no clear-cut, neat and tidy package that can be developed to create an assembly-line that will "turn out" mature Christians. We need to "do life together." We need to focus on the mentoring aspect of relationships. That's where the deep life lessons and principles are learned that provide a framework on which maturity can grow. 


"For most Christian teenagers, Sunday school and youth group have become a substitute for spiritual training in the home. Interestingly enough, the Sunday-school movement itself began as an outreach to unchurched poor children. Its founders never intended for it to take over the role of Christian parents."  


Parents must be taught, reminded, encouraged to take up their God-given responsibilities to train up their own children. Children who belong to families where this isn't going to happen need other mature Christian adults to come alongside them and take on the role of mentor. The ministry model that DeVries proposes in this book is based on developing these deep and lasting relationships wherein teenagers learn how to live the Christian life by watching adults do it. By talking to them and asking questions, they learn Truths that can take root and grow into a mature Faith. All of that growth is the Lord's Work. Our work is to sow and water into these young lives. 


"In the final analysis, though, family-based programs provide only the context for healthy connections to be made. It is the caring attentiveness of the older generation to the younger that is likely to make the most significant difference in the lives of the teenagers we touch, an attitude that can affect our youth much more deeply than our programs."


There is so much packed into the 250 pages of this book. If you want statistics, there are statistics. If you want anecdotal examples, it's full of them. If you want specific examples of implementation, there are pages and pages and pages of ideas to begin. The book is a complete package and I think anyone who longs for youth to grow into maturity would be blessed by reading it. My sweet husband is planning to read it and we hope to share it with others.  Hmmmm . . .  I wonder if I can get bulk discounts. :)



#31 in the challenge to read 52 books in 52 weeks. 

Read 52 Books in 52 Weeks

5 Minute Friday: When Seasons Change

When seasons of life change, He gives us the opportunity to grow and stretch in ways that expand our ministry. As we walk out, in faith and utter dependence, the season we are in, it is like being escorted to the edge of a high place. A place where He shows us a new vision, a broader vista. The lessons and principles we learned in each of the previous seasons of life, now  provide the foundation to build higher into our calling in Him. What He taught us before now has new and broader applications. What He taught us before, we are called to model before a larger group of those over whom we have the potential of influence. New lessons will need to be learned. Deeper applications of the lessons from previous seasons will need to be "fleshed out." But, as we learn to walk closer to the center of His Will, He faithfully teaches how to take the next step, the next breath at this new altitude, wearing Him more clearly. May we go ever deeper into His Heart as He teaches us to walk more fully alive in Him.




That's all I can squeeze into only 5 minutes. But it's always fun to try this and see what spews forth from this sometimes fevered, sometimes weary, sometimes scattered, always learning brain. :)  May your Friday, and beyond, be filled with Him. Everywhere you turn, may you encounter Him. May He draw you deeper into His Heart. 

Seasons of Life

Years ago, Kregg and I listened to a seminar by Gregg Harris on homeschooling. One of the sessions was on the seasons of our lives and it left an indelible mark on us. My sweet husband preached this morning because our pastor is out of town. We are in the middle of a series of lessons on healthy families, so Kregg decided to talk about the lessons we learned from that seminar.

Harris outlined our lives this way:
1. The Season of Preparation
2. The Season of Production
3. The Season of Provision
4. The Season of Protection

The Season of Preparation could also be called the season of the child. During this season, the primary responsibility is to study, learn, and prepare. This season encompasses our growing up years, the years spent during our childhood and on into becoming young adults. It is a time that should be focused on learning how to learn and walking in the responsibilities given to us in our families. This is the time when we learn about the blessings of being under authority. Those lessons, learned at the feet of our parents, are critical to having a right relationship to authority in each of the other seasons. If we pay attention and focus well on learning the lessons tied into this season, it facilitates the success of later seasons. 

The Season of Production focuses on the building of our households and careers. During this season, for most people, marriage and children, and establishing a way to support them is the focus. This is an intense time and requires focused attention, if it is to be done well. Everything we allow in this season needs to be focused on building in these areas. This is a critical time for families. It is a time when it can be very easy to become distracted or out of balance in our responsibilities. 

Too often, parents in this season allow too many things to make it onto the family calendar. We must exercise much wisdom in discerning those activities that actually bear fruit in our families and in the character of our children, versus those activities that are simply done because everyone else does them. Our children do not need twenty-seven extra curricular activities to make them "well-rounded." We shouldn't be helping with every single ministry opportunity at church. What our children need during these formative years is lots and lots of hours with their parents and their family. This is the time where parents are able to sow the most seeds into those young hearts. Do not miss it by being too busy.

The Season of Provision, also called the season of the elder, is the time in our lives when our homes and jobs are well established and flourishing. And if we have come through the previous two seasons faithfully, this is the time the Lord will broaden our ministry to those outside our immediate family. Notice that it is the Lord Who is to broaden our ministry. It is not our job! During this season, the experience and wisdom earned and learned in the previous two seasons give us the credibility and empathy to be able to mentor the next generation coming behind us as parents. This is the season to help build into the lives of others and to strongly support the Body in leadership roles.

The Season of Protection is also called the season of the "city father." This is the time of life when most people "retire" for leisurely pursuits. But, this is actually the time when we can bear the most fruit of all. Having grown in wisdom and experience through the previous three seasons, the influence wielded as a "city father" is immense. This role is absolutely critical to the life of the Body. Without godly people in this position in the Body, the whole church suffers. 

Look at the vision that is cast for us through the life of Job and his faithful fulfillment of this role:

Job 29:7-17

⁷ “When I went to the gate of the city
   and took my seat in the public square,
⁸ the young men saw me and stepped aside
   and the old men rose to their feet;
⁹ the chief men refrained from speaking
   and covered their mouths with their hands;
¹⁰ the voices of the nobles were hushed,
   and their tongues stuck to the roof of their mouths.
¹¹ Whoever heard me spoke well of me,
   and those who saw me commended me,
¹² because I rescued the poor who cried for help,
   and the fatherless who had none to assist them.
¹³ The one who was dying blessed me;
   I made the widow’s heart sing.
¹⁴ I put on righteousness as my clothing;
   justice was my robe and my turban.
¹⁵ I was eyes to the blind
   and feet to the lame.
¹⁶ I was a father to the needy;
   I took up the case of the stranger.
¹⁷ I broke the fangs of the wicked
   and snatched the victims from their teeth. 

Job had arrived at this season of his life through great trials. Because he trusted the Lord through each of the previous seasons, he was now held in great honor. His scope of influence was huge.  Job was the one who protected the helpless. He was the one who was looked to to uphold justice. A dying man would bless him because that man knew his widow and children would be taken care of by Job.

This is what each of us is to aspire to. Unfortunately, those who are truly able to walk out this season of the "city father" are rare. Too many are derailed in one of the earlier seasons and never again regain the vision for where the Lord wants to take them.

We each need to ask the Lord to help us understand our season. If we have missed any of the prerequisite lessons for where we are in life, He will "tutor" us so that we can catch up. But we have to recognize what needs to happen. We have to ask Him for wisdom. He is so Faithful. But we have to pay attention. I am convinced that one of the most effective tools used by the evil one to render His People ineffective is to tempt us to get our seasons of life out of balance. It can sound very holy to step into a position of leadership and great responsibilities in the Body when we are still in the season of Production. This takes the parents out of the home at the most crucial time for their children.

Billy Sunday was a famous traveling preacher. He became a Christian during a road trip when he was playing ball for the White Sox in the early 1900s. When he left baseball, he became the "Billy Graham" of his time. Over the course of his 39 years in ministry, he preached to over 100 million people and more than 1 million of them became Christians. 

But his children were casualties of his lack of understanding of the seasons of our lives. While his children were young, he and his wife would take months long preaching trips, leaving their children in the care of others. During those crucial years when they needed their parents so desperately, those parents were away from the home for ministry. All but one of their children ended up destroying their lives through their wrong choices. When word got out that his own children were in this condition, Billy's ministry imploded. He spent the last few years preaching in small country venues. His reputation was destroyed because he had not first provided for the needs of his own family.

I Timothy 5:8 says this: 

Anyone who does not provide for their relatives, and especially for their own household, has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever. 

If only Billy Sunday had postponed the expansion of his ministry until his first responsibilities were fulfilled, who knows how many more he would have been able to influence. Near the end of his life, even after all the successes, he asked his wife where he had gone wrong. He had learned, bitterly, that the true measure of the success of a man is the contentment of his wife and the character of his children.

Psalm 90:12

Teach us to number our days aright that we may gain a heart of wisdom. 

Letting Him Go

This time of anticipation and preparation before Caleb leaves for his first month in Africa has been interesting. Interesting in how it has been processed in my heart. 

We have slowly taken care of the things on the list: immunizations, prescriptions, purchases. As his departure has drawn closer, however, the depth of "the leaving" is coming into focus.


People keep asking me about letting him go--for a month, even though there is some unrest there, traveling alone. And I keep answering with the Truth, that God has been preparing him, and us, for this "leave-taking" since before he was born. 

The original plan was for Caleb's middle name to be Alan, Kregg's middle name. But then a different name was spoken to us. And we just knew his middle name was supposed to be Christopher: "bearing Christ."


And then when he was 5, I think, he came in to the kitchen one day and told me that he believed the Lord would call him to be a missionary and that he would probably die in China. 

Nothing like a little casual conversation with your five year old, right?


The only way we can freely allow our children to serve the Lord, no matter where He takes them and what He asks of them, is for us to truly believe that each moment we have with them is a gift. Each sacred moment is a gift from the Father to us. He is merely sharing them with us for a season. But they belong to Him.  They always have. 

We have to live in that reality to be able to let them go when He asks. 

It's just a month. It's not a big deal. Lots of people make mission-trips-to-Africa-or-Thailand-or-wherever. Mission trips are a wonderful way to see how others live and to help us pray better and be more grateful for our blessings. People come back from one of these trips and then most of them continue down the path they were on before they left. Their trips impact them, leaving a mark in their spirits. But for most people, these trips are simply a "pause" before hitting "play" again. But most people do come home.

Caleb's Knighting Ceremony

It's different with him.

I see it in his eyes. Those eyes that reflect his heart. That heart that reflects His Father. And I know what it means. And so does he. And that knowledge has made him even more tender-hearted toward each of us. He lingers longer. He makes use of every little opportunity to sit with me and talk, or with Kregg. He is investing heavily in his relationships with his siblings. As I write this, he is driving the two hours it takes to see his oldest sister, due with our first grandchild while he is away, just to see her before he leaves. He will only be there this one night. But, he knows things are changing. This precious season of time with him "all here" is almost over. A new season is beginning.

Yes, he will be back for the rest of the summer before he leaves to begin his course work in a Vocational Missions degree. But, we know that is simply the training for what he believes will be a life devoted to sharing the Gospel in the far corners of the world. 

And that's why this is such a poignant time for us. 

And that is why I want to savor each second this week. 

And that is why my heart is sore.

Caleb has been preparing my heart little by little with a comment here and there. He says things like he may never be called to marry. Or if he is, his family may look very different because of where the Lord may have him living. He talks about the money he has earned and what it is for. He has been giving things up. Things he worked hard for and bought, but are no longer important. There was a "pedal" for his guitar that he wanted. Badly. When he won an essay contest recently, Kregg said he could use part of the money to finally buy it. But Caleb said he thinks he probably should just pass on it. He knows. He understands what the Lord is asking. He understands he is being asked to lay it all down. Everything. And he is filled with such Joy. He is so Free. 

We all know that things will never be quite the same with our precious Caleb again. That is not to say we dread the future. That is not to say the Lord won't bear even more fruit in him and through him, in us. But it is simply the bittersweet ending of a season. And it is a good thing to intentionally mark the change.

And we praise Him who has trusted us with such a precious son. And we thank Him that Caleb is all in. For whatever the Lord asks, he is saying "yes." 


And we marvel at what the Lord has done.    

The Ministry of Parenting

Jesus, as He walked this earth, modeled the life we are to live. I love the saying I heard years ago, I cannot remember where:

Jesus Called 12

Graduated 11

And Focused on 3

What does that mean to me?

What should my ministry look like?

Jesus ministered to the multitudes on many occasions. That ministry profoundly changed many lives. But His primary focus was on His disciples. And the way He did this is so instructive. He could have set up a "school" where he had hundreds of students taught in a lecture format. After all, He knew He would only be here for a short time. Wouldn't it be more efficient to teach large numbers of people so they could have a larger influence on more people faster? That's what most experts would probably have recommended.

He didn't do it that way. Instead, He called twelve men to walk beside Him and watch Him live. They "did life" together. They ate together, slept together, walked together, talked together as He trained them to accomplish the purpose He had for them. The entire time they were together, He was influencing them, directly through His Words and indirectly as they observed Him interact with the world. To truly change hearts, it would take intense, focused attention and training. That normally isn't accomplished through "mass production." Complete transformation in His immediate circle would have an exponential effect not possible by a "lesser dose" with a greater audience. 

So what does that mean for me?

I believe my ministry is to focus on a few at a time, those He specifically gives me. It is not a misuse of my time to spend intensive resources on a few for the season He defines. Yes, I can speak into other lives in limited ways as He directs, but if I go out and try to "gather" more than the number He sends, do I risk the impact that He intends me to have on the few? Do I really believe I can "disciple" more effectively than He did? 

And, here comes the exciting part: for this season of my life my primary focus is on my children. As a mother, I believe I am responsible first and foremost to disciple the children He has made me responsible for. For this season my primary circle of influence is my own kids. As I am focused on these children, He often brings someone to me for a small window of time and the kids get to observe how He asks me to minister to someone else, but the focus of this season doesn't change.

It is tragic to see how many parents allow other things to take the place of their primary field of ministry during the formative years of their children. Ministry is often allowed to take precedence over parenting. The Lord never asks us to serve in ways that interfere with the primary responsibilities He gives us. That is a tool of the evil one. That sounds harsh, especially when those "other ways" are ministry related. But if parents allow themselves to be pulled away from the training and nurturing of their own children to minister to someone else they are missing their primary calling. And there will be consequences. 

Some people believe that if they see a need, they are the one who is supposed meet it. That is not necessarily the case. Many times well meaning people, out of a true desire to help, step in where they are not supposed to step in. As parents, when we see a need that will involve a significant investment of time, we need to ask the Lord if He is putting it on our list. If the answer is "yes", the Grace will be provided to minister to that need without neglecting our primary area of focus. If the answer, however, is "no" then, no matter how good our intentions, the Grace will not be available to accomplish that specific thing without negative consequences in our primary responsibility to our children. 

The principle of the "seasons" in our life has to provide the filter for our commitments. During the season of parenting, we should not add any responsibilities He does not specifically give us. We can't add something to the life of our family just because it's a "good thing." If it does not enhance our ability to effectively accomplish the main goal of the season we are in, then it is not supposed to be added to that season. 

Often times, when we take on an "ill-fitting" thing, we are actually interfering with that need being met in a more productive way. If we step in when the Lord was actually calling someone else to minister to that specific need, we can interfere with many potential blessings: the blessings for the person who was supposed to minister in that area, and the blessings of that need being met in a more fruitful way. Often, we step in to relieve the "tension" created by a need. What we have to understand is that just because we feel that tension doesn't mean we are the one who is supposed to relieve it. God often creates that tension specifically to move the one He is actually calling to meet that need to step up and engage it. If we step in without His specific instruction to do so, the person who He was calling can miss out on that opportunity.

It all comes back to recognizing the primary responsibility for the season of life the Lord has us in. Nothing He calls us to do during that season will damage our ability to faithfully, fruitfully accomplish that responsibility. Anything He does ask of us during that specific season will enhance our ability to accomplish that primary responsibility. 

So for us, this season of parenting defines our primary ministry. And any ministry opportunities that present themselves must be evaluated and prayed over from that context. If that specific ministry interferes with our parenting, then it is intended for someone else to do, or for us to do in another season of our lives. Intense, intentional focus as parents produces the fruit intended for this season. If I don't get this season right, His ability to use me in the future is diminished because of my lack of faithfulness here and now.

We need to ask the Lord to purify our schedules and our commitments. We need to ask Him to help us stay focused on what He has called us to now.

What season are you in?

What is the primary responsibility for that season?

Have you taken on things intended for someone else, or for another season?

Bill Gothard said years ago that our job is never to expand our ministry. Our job is always to deepen our message. The Lord will expand our ministry in His Perfect Timing for His Glory. 

Grow deep roots where you are. Grow deep roots so that the fruit He can bear through you is abundant and filled with Life. Your influence, under those circumstances, will be far greater than you can ever imagine. There is always time to wait on Him, to allow Him to teach you well in this season.

Desperate Need

The road can be so difficult to see

In our culture, we are bombarded by messages telling us to prepare for that glorious, magical point in our lives where we reach "retirement." On that blessed day, all work ceases. All our years of striving have finally brought us to the precipice of perfect peace and pleasure. From that point on, we are supposed to do whatever we feel like doing. We are to prostrate ourselves before the gods of comfort, convenience and recreation and spend the rest of our lives worshiping there. Oh sure, we will still volunteer here and there for some cause worthy enough to temporarily interrupt our frolicking fun. But the purpose of our existence is to enjoy ourselves and the "kingdom" we have created. 

Meanwhile, all those coming behind us are drowning. 

But that is no longer our concern. Right?

This couldn't be farther from the Lord's Plan for our lives. I love the teaching of Gregg Harris on the seasons of life. He explains the season of life when we have completed the intense part of building and the next one that follows is the season of hospitality. During this season, those of us who have reached that stage are to bless the lives of others. We are to practice the principles of hospitality, inviting people into our homes, into our lives so that we may serve them. This season of our lives has the potential to bear more fruit than any of the others. We are to share the lessons the Lord has taught us along our journey with those who are coming behind us, those who aren't as far down the road as we. 

Imagine what it would mean to a young mother, frazzled with toddlers and dishes and laundry, to have an older woman come alongside her and speak Truth and Love into her world. To walk along with her. To listen to the frustrations. To offer wisdom and Godly advice learned through having walked the same path years before.

Imagine a Godly older man asking a young father out to lunch, listening to the difficulties he is carrying, trying to provide for his family while also trying to love his wife, and raise Godly children. Imagine the older man cultivating a mentoring relationship with this young man over an extended period. 

Imagine an older couple being an additional set of grandparents for a young family, spending time with the children as well as the parents. Think about the rich conversations filled with time to ask the hard questions, filled with time for prayer and spoken blessings.

I have been in the motherhood business for 24 years now. During those early years, the Lord gave me friends who performed this function. I cannot tell you what those times meant to me. I learned so much. I was so blessed by their service to me. 

You don't have to be on the spiritual level of C. S. Lewis to bless a "younger" person, someone in an earlier stage. You simply have to be willing to spend time with them, listening, praying, encouraging. 

Just this morning, three ladies have sent me messages. In the past two days there have been others. The common thread between each of these women is the fact that they (we) all need someone who is farther down the road to share wisdom, speak truth, come alongside and describe the bends and bumps they will encounter in the future.

Now, as with anything else, there is a balance to this. Ministering outside this balance will not be a blessing to your family. If you still have lots of kids at home, your ability to minister is limited. It's a season. But, in small ways you can still look behind you and encourage someone. When, however, we get to the point where the kids are either on auto-pilot or gone, your schedule is much more open. For women, while making sure we are blessing our husbands, we need to ask the Lord to show us who He would put on our list. The potential for fruit will bless your life far more than one more leisure activity. 

There is a desperate need for mentors for each stage of life. So many people have been raised in homes where they were not equipped to walk with the Lord, to understand the principles that bring blessings into their lives. There are so many young families and young married couples who don't know what's wrong or how to "fix" it. They just know that their relationships are crumbling before their eyes. Without someone willing to come alongside them, many of these relationships will end in destruction. Or if they manage to hold the family together, the fruit being sown and borne in their home will only perpetuate the same types of dysfunction.

Our faith in the Lord is all about relationship. As we are taken into God's family, we are given the Holy Spirit, the Counselor, to dwell within us and be that guide and speaker of wisdom into our lives. This relationship is a model for other relationships in the Body. 

If you are at the point in your life where your responsibilities are no longer demanding all of your time, ask the Lord to use you to minister to someone coming behind you. 

There are so many people who are lost along the way. The road can be so difficult to see. Will you help? Will we, as the Body, help those who need us?

Your job is to speak out on the things that make for solid doctrine. Guide older men into lives of temperance, dignity, and wisdom, into healthy faith, love, and endurance. Guide older women into lives of reverence so they end up as neither gossips nor drunks, but models of goodness. By looking at them, the younger women will know how to love their husbands and children, be virtuous and pure, keep a good house, be good wives. We don't want anyone looking down on God's Message because of their behavior. Also, guide the young men to live disciplined lives.

                                                             From Titus 2 in The Message