Our First Responsibility: Our Family

"The most discerning audience we will ever have is our own family. They know precisely whether or not our life matches our message.  Only when we pass the test of consistent living at home are we qualified to expand our ministry. Our family responsibilities are not barriers to a future ministry; they are basic training for it. For example, the skills David leaned in order to protect and feed the family flock were later used to conquer a giant and feed a nation. The skills  church leaders learns in order to meet the needs of his own family will be used to understand and meet the needs of the church. This explains why Christ told a certain man to go home to his family and first demonstrate his faith to them."

I've mentioned it before, but one of the very favorite resources used by our family are the three volumes of Character Sketches. The quote above is from one of the four chapters on the character quality of Availability in volume 2. The definition for Availability being studied in this chapter says:

"Availability is serving my family first before I consider other needs or wants."                          I Timothy 5:8

Our homes are our training grounds. Walking in the fullness of understanding in what He desires to accomplish in our souls through the responsibilities we carry at home puts even the mundane tasks in a different light. If we truly believe that everything we do in our home, before or for our family, is for His Glory and our sanctification, we can't treat any of it as unimportant. 


Don't hear a burden in this, hear an opportunity. 


If we understand just how much He desires to accomplish in our souls through ministry in our homes, to our families, it actually gives us more Grace (defined as the power and desire to do His Will). It actually energizes our Purpose and plants seeds of exciting expectation as we await the Fruit He will bring forth, not only in our hearts, but in our home, our children, our spouse. 


As we focus on the ministry of the Home and Hearth, it helps us say "no" to things that are not for this season. By refining our purpose, we are granted discernment to see requests for the expenditure of our resources in the context of our main focused responsibility in this season. When we clearly see our responsibility, it helps us commit to only those things that will bless our purpose in this season, knowing that, as we are faithful, He prepares us for expanded ministry in the next season.


We would be wise not to despise the season of "small things." Small does NOT mean unimportant. Instead, these "small things," the ones seen by only a few, are extremely important if we are to be fitted well for His Purposes. Focusing on the "small things" is the only way to learn to be used in the "big things," where our influence and ministry are expanded by Him to accomplish His Purposes. In our families, the small things all matter. And, if we pay attention to our hearts here, He will purify and build into us a foundation on which can be built expanded areas of influence and ministry, by His Hand, in His Time. 


My family see me clearly. They know when I am chaffing under the yoke of ministry in our home. They know when I am despising the season of small things. They recognize when my attitude is not that of a servant, joyfully ministering in my responsibilities. And in those times when I am centered on self, I miss out on the potential to influence, the blessing of serving, the opportunity to humble myself. Every time I choose poorly, it costs our family something. None of my choices, as a wife and mother, are made in a vacuum. They all affect those He has given me to serve. And they cost me, in rejecting an opportunity to be made more into His Image in that moment of choice.


It is no accident that I still have several children at home (all day :). The refining of the "silver for the Silversmith's use" is requiring decades, in my case. I'm a "tough nut to crack." 

Less Can Be More

It's a cloudy, overcast day here and we have received enough moisture for the driveway to be wet. Loving that. How we appreciate the gift of moisture!


After the frenetic pace we have kept for the past few months, since Thanksgiving in fact, a day that urges us to snuggle into our nest and enjoy quiet, still, peaceful pursuits is such a blessing.


The pace we set for ourselves has so much to do with fruitfulness. Our minds can tell us that "more is better." Often, the truly productive times are when we are attempting less, but are focused more intently. 


Allowing the Lord to make our "to do" list keeps us from being spread too thin, from being excellent at nothing. Mediocrity is the enemy of Excellence.


This time of year, the post holiday-pre-spring break weeks, are when we settle back into the rhythm of our days, without a lot of the interruption characteristic of the holidays. It is a time to be intentional. A time to allow things that don't bear fruit to fall away, refining the expenditure of our time and energies to be focused and effective.


We find ourselves always with choices to make, options to consider, opportunities to weigh. But this time of the year begs us to moderate activity. To trust that He will accomplish His Purposes through us, even when it feels like we aren't accomplishing a great deal. Even when we could "do more," less is often a wiser choice in the long run. 


Days like today remind me of that.


The things that won't fit well into today are probably not for today. 

Resolutely

Being shaped into something useful

It's the third day of January, and while we sat in worship Sunday, I was reminded of the verse in Luke where Christ is described as "resolutely" setting His Face toward Jerusalem and His appointment with the Cross. That word is so forceful, so determined. 


He had a mission and nothing on Earth or in Hell could prevent Him from accomplishing it.


How do I approach the "missions" I have been given?

• Daughter of the King
• Wife
• Mother
• Grandmother
• Mother-in-law
• Homeschool teacher
• Homemaker
• Sister
• Friend
• Shepherding couple at church

How seriously do I take these responsibilities, day in and day out? Am I expecting growth in my ability to meet each of these needs? Am I working at it? Studying? Praying? Learning? Or am I complacent, believing I "know enough to get by?" Am I content with the level of growth already attained?

Resolutely.

That word cannot be used with mediocrity. Apathy. Complacency.

I do not believe that thoughts just pop into our heads. I believe those thoughts have a source. 

The evil one loves to "zing us" with arrows of temptation, doubt, unrighteousness. And so when a thought enters my mind that is not holy, righteous, lovely, the source is definitely not the Spirit. It's either my sinful flesh or the enemy.

But when a thought enters my mind that challenges me to be more like Him, there can only be one Source: the Holy Spirit.

So when the verse from Luke entered my mind Sunday morning, the process of elimination immediately rules out two of the three sources, leaving The Spirit. And when He places something in my mind, I need to pay attention. 

Last year, the idea of focusing on specific words for the year helped me grow more aware of striving to become more Christlike in my thoughts, words, and actions. It helped to put the year and its events in context. 

Toward the end of 2011, it seemed there was little, if any, time to focus on the coming year. It was more about trying to keep up with the next thing on the list, with no wiggle room for contemplation. 

So, isn't it just like Him to speak to my spirit during worship on the very first day of the new year? What a Loving Father! What a patient Teacher! What Grace!

Resolutely.

We already know this year will be filled to overflowing with His Blessings. Our calendar for 2012 has several major family events on it, and we're only three days in. Kregg is less than a month into his new job and the learning curve is extreme. There's a wedding and trips to plan. There is so much that could distract. So much that could dilute.

But if I am to be resolute in learning what He has for me in the next twelve months, He must help me focus. He must help me be intentional. I love the analogy of a laser: light that is so focused, it can cut through just about anything. When His Light is focused in my spirit, change will come, growth will come. I will become a more effective tool in His Hand. I will be more disciplined, more aware. 

That all sounds so very serious.

And I must confess that I can be too serious at times. I can be too "shortest distance between two points." I can be guilty of missing the vast reserves of Joy in each and every moment of each and every day. I don't want to miss an ounce. Of the Joy or the Growth. 

So 2012 is, for me, a time to be resolute in focusing on Him and the jobs He has given me to accomplish for His Glory.

How does that affect the choices I will make in each of the roles He has assigned to me?

The key will be prayer. Prayer. Prayer. Prayer. That is the only way for me to be resolute. He will call me to prayer. And He will meet me there and change me. It gives me such an exciting sense of anticipation! I truly feel like a very significant journey has begun. I pray I will not be distracted.

Thanksgiving Prep

These people know how to have FUN! :)

Knowing myself as I do, many little steps of preparation taken well in advance help me choose to be more like Mary, less like Martha, when there is much to be done. So as we get ready for my sister's family to arrive to help us celebrate Thanksgiving, the house has been filled with good smells and many projects. Doing as much ahead of time as possible helps me not feel so much pressure and frees us up to just enjoy the time spent together.


To be specific, 

• the props for the kids' play are almost finished (thanks to Rebekah)
• the costumes (VERY simple ones) are ready
• dinner for Tuesday and Wednesday are cooked and in the freezer
• dressing, potatoes, pie crusts are made and in the freezer
• Kregg fried a turkey yesterday, it's boned and in the freezer
• the other turkey is roasting right now
• all the recipes are pulled and scheduled for the day they need to be prepared
• the house cleaning, always a work in progress, is in progress :)
• the pages for the scavenger hunt are printed
• the trebuchets are completed and have undergone rigorous field testing
• the list of remaining perishable items to be purchased is made
• the pantry had to be completely cleaned out and reorganized to hold stuff until Thursday, an added benefit

Thankfully, my sister and her family are wonderful guests, very laid back and easy going. With 16 of us in the house together for several days, that is a huge blessing! :) I was probably a little ambitious in planning things this year, but for some reason it really hit me a few weeks ago how the responsibility for family traditions for my side of the family has shifted to the shoulders of my siblings and I, since Mom and Dad are both gone now. I got very emotional thinking about all of it, which got the old imagination churning, trying to think of things that would work well for such a wide age range, knowing that there really isn't much "to do" where we live. I don't think I explained my feelings well to my sweet husband, but he was perfectly willing to help me in whatever way he could. He's so wonderful.

How are your plans coming along?

What system do you use to get everything done on a day like Thanksgiving?

I would love to learn your tried-and-true-tips! 

What family traditions do you honor each year? 

Are there new ones you are hoping/wanting to begin?

How do you keep preparations simple so you can focus on the really important things: people?

As this year draws to a close, I keep thinking back on the two words the Lord had me focus on for 2011: Blessing and Being. He has taught me so much this year and by giving me the opportunity this week to be hostess for Thanksgiving, He is allowing me a great time to practice what I've learned. 

The Mosaic of Our Days: A Link-Up in Pages of Our Heritage of Faith

This photomosaic was created using Andrea Mosaic

I have often felt like my life is cut into a million pieces. Everyday, chop, chop, chop. Lots of starts and stops. Many changes of direction. Infinite interruptions. That's what this job of "mothering" requires, isn't it? It can feel like we never have any continuity to our days because each hour is cut up into tiny pieces by the constant demand for our attention, involvement, interaction with our children, husband, home, ministry. 


I have joked for years that I don't even think in complete sentences anymore. 


Several months ago, just to help my husband grasp the full scope of my day homeschooling the youngest four, I recorded every single question I was asked for the majority of our waking hours. It was hilarious. But it did confirm what I already knew: it's best to be flexible. It's best to allow our day to change direction, if needed. It's best for me not to have a "plan" that isn't made of rubber.


No matter which resource happens to be in highest demand at the moment (time, energy, sleep, sense of humor, laundry soap), if I believe there will be "enough" to accomplish His Purposes, I will have Peace. If I allow Him to direct, He always supplies. If I direct, the supply will always be in question.


We tend to get so caught up in the urgency of the moment, that we forget to step back and look at our lives from a different perspective. When we trust the Lord to direct our paths, we will be amazed at the end result. We will be amazed at the Beauty a life given over to His Control will produce.


This summer has been crazy, even by our standards, and we are well-conditioned to "CRAZINESS!" It has felt at times like we were being swept along in the current of a giant river, with little control of direction or destination. That's how it "felt." But that wasn't really how it was. He has been Enough. He has carried me through when I felt out of control. Because, in reality, I'm not in control. I never have been. The true reality is that He is ultimately in control and, if I allow Him, He will direct my path. In those times where we are simply keeping our heads above water in taking care of the things He wants on our lists, He is preparing fruit to be brought forth from our labors. 


And the Beauty of what He brings forth will be amazing. 


The idea of my life as a mosaic was Whispered to me last night. It was such a precious gift to me. So today, I found this fun program online just to see what would happen if I put in hundreds of pictures from our lives. The scene I chose as the template for the mosaic was a floral arrangement Hannah received when our grandson, Samuel, was born. The program takes your photos and uses them to "paint" the picture. So even though the overall scene is a beautiful still life, it is composed of hundreds of special moments from our lives. And isn't that a lovely image of how the Lord works in our lives, even when we don't see the "Big Picture," to create a work of art from all the little bitty pieces that seem to add up to "not much," from our perspective in the midst of our sometimes harried lives. Seen from a different perspective, it's pretty impressive. 


When we allow Him to be the Artist, it will always be a masterpiece. 


Thank You, Lord. 


Now it's your turn. Would you share with us how the Lord has shown Himself Faithful to you? It can be a recent post or an ancient one. It can be a story from your grandmother or one about your child. He reveals Himself to us in every moment of every day, if we just look. Your story will bless us. And you will be blessed by testifying, giving Him Glory. Start, or add to, the Pages in Your Heritage of Faith. Think of what an incredible blessing it would be to compile stories of His Faithfulness in your life and then pass it on to your children, or grandchildren. The ripples can continue into a time you won't see.  

Psalm 78

O my people, hear my teaching;
   listen to the words of my mouth.
I will open my mouth in parables,
   I will utter hidden things, things from of old—
what we have heard and known,
   what our fathers have told us.
We will not hide them from their children;
   we will tell the next generation
the praiseworthy deeds of the LORD,
   his power, and the wonders he has done.
He decreed statutes for Jacob
   and established the law in Israel,
which he commanded our forefathers
   to teach their children,
so the next generation would know them,
   even the children yet to be born,
   and they in turn would tell their children.
Then they would put their trust in God
   and would not forget his deeds
   but would keep his commands.
They would not be like their forefathers—
   a stubborn and rebellious generation,
whose hearts were not loyal to God,
   whose spirits were not faithful to him.

Basket Therapy

Don't you love laundry baskets? They are handy for so many things! You don't even want to know some of the things ours have been used for. That's why they look like this. :)


I had a friend whose house was for sale while she had an infant. The thought of the realtor calling at any given moment wanting to come show her house would make her break out in hives. Then she came up with a brilliant idea. She would keep a couple of empty laundry baskets (or twelve, depending on your tolerance for "messy") handy and when the phone rang to schedule a showing, she would dash around the house and throw the clutter in the baskets, then carry the baskets out to the garage and stick them in her car. She stayed sane and the house sold. 


Another great use for the humble laundry basket is to use them for cleaning house. I'm sure many of you have already stumbled on this particular use, but in case the sometimes mind-numbing job of homemaking, homeschooling, &
mothering, or any combination of those jobs, has left you a little short on ideas, maybe this will help.


Get a few empty baskets and take them and your children to the first room on your list. Everything that doesn't belong in that room goes in the basket. Then straighten what's left in that room and carry the basket to the next room. Add the things to the basket that don't belong in room two, and subtract any items from the basket that actually do belong in room two. Then straighten what's left. You can buzz through the whole house pretty quickly, and before you know it, everything is back where it belongs. Depending on your schedule for the day, you can then proceed with cleaning those rooms, or if straightening was all your day will allow, the cleaning can wait for another day. 


With young children, the basket drill may be something you spend 30 minutes doing every evening before baths and bedtime so that your time after the kids are in bed can be spent gazing into the loving eyes of your husband, without being distracted by visual clutter. :)


Once the kids "know the drill," they can probably do it by themselves if they are old enough. Even if they aren't, helping mom is still lots of fun for them when we keep it cheerful. "The highest form of play for a child is work with an adult." I think David Elkind is the one who said that, I can't remember. If the kids are going to do it themselves, you can add music to the drill. Maybe they have a favorite sing-along cd--use it and tell them you're going to see if they can make it through one room by the time a certain song is over. Again, depending on their age, you can lengthen the time by adding a song or two. Or  maybe the goal is to straighten the whole house by the time the entire cd has played through once. You'll have to adjust the time frame to keep them motivated, but not frustrated.


There is something so wonderful about going to bed and waking up to a house that is straightened up. Even if it's not all scrubbed and polished, straight sure makes me feel better about life. That's my two cents worth. Hope it helps. :)

Book Review: Mary Emma and Company

Ralph Moody has done it again. The incredible story that was his childhood continues in the latest book I just finished reading aloud to the kids as part of our schooling: Mary Emma and Company. 


This one picks up where Man of the Family left off. In that book, the family was forced to flee Littleton, Colorado to avoid Mrs. Moody being forced to testify against their former neighbor in a trial that probably would have ended with a death sentence being meted out. So they fled to Boston where her brother, his family, and her uncle lived. 


Once again, the ingenuity and diligence this widow and her 6 children display is so incredibly compelling, the reader finds himself pulling for them to succeed in each of their attempts at overcoming the obstacles they encounter at every turn. And true to life, the depth of their character shines through no matter how difficult life becomes. Mrs. Moody always looks for the best and she firmly believes there is a way to overcome each new challenge, if they just work hard and don't give up. I love how she trusted the Lord to make a way when there seemed to be no way. 


When they first arrived in Boston, they lived with her brother's family in a very modest dwelling. It didn't take long before Mary Emma (Mrs. Moody) recognized the hardship their presence created for their hospitable relatives. And once recognized, she would not rest until the situation was alleviated. She got a job in a hand laundry in a very dangerous part of the city in order for her to learn the skills required to start her own laundry business out of her home. 


Ralph found a job in a grocery store with two precious older men who quickly recognized what a responsible, hard-working young man they had hired. These two men had many helpful connections they used to repeatedly bless the Moody family. It was through them that the Moody's found their new home: an enormous older rental house in horrible condition. But that didn't intimidate the Moodys. They simply rolled up their sleeves and went to work, turning the disaster into a wonderful home. The grocers also provided a connection with a former delivery boy turned big city lawyer who was selling his mother's houseful of furniture. Mrs. Moody was able to buy all the furnishings, dishes, linens and furniture, for $50, much less than the actual value.


Ralph's ingenuity provided blessing after blessing for his family. He even devised a way to recover many large wooden beams that had been thrown into the river when a bridge caught on fire. Through his salvage efforts he earned enough money to buy new clothing and shoes for all the children. 


Ralph's arrival in Boston did not go well, however, with several of the local authorities. He ended up getting into one scrape after another with the local police officer and the principal of his school. The last straw, teaching a friend to fire a revolver by shooting it into the river, ended up with the threat of reform school if his mother didn't send him away. Back in Colorado, no one would have thought twice about his activities. But in the "big city," he got his name in the "bad boy's book" one too many times. 


This crisis sets up the transition to the next book in this autobiographical series: Fields of Home. I can't even begin to tell you which of the ones we have read to this point is my favorite. They are all so absolutely wonderful, I can't choose. I have been warned (thanks Kessie!) that Fields of Home is the hardest to read because of the hardships Ralph endured during that time in his young life. We are five chapters in, and she is right!


This is #22 in my quest for 52 in 52. There has been virtually no time for my independent reading the past few weeks, and it doesn't look like there will be much additional time in the foreseeable future. After all, our first grandbaby is due any day now! After that, all bets are off. :) All the more reason why choosing outstanding read-alouds for our homeschool is so rewarding. These books are so well written that I recommend them for everyone of all ages.

                                    Read 52 Books in 52 Weeks

Game Review: Settlers of Catan

Today was one of those days when we needed to do something fun together. Things have been "intense" for some time now and you can reach the point when a "break" is more productive than anything else. So we whipped out one of our favorite games: Settlers of Catan.


If you are familiar with this series of games, this review will not tell you anything you don't already know. We have only been playing it for a few months, here and there, so we are far from "professionals." But it is definitely one we will continue playing for years to come.


Why do we love it?


For me, games need to be well designed on every level: the board, the strategy, and the flow. This one does well in each of these areas. The basic idea is a competition between players to establish their settlements and supply of resources in a way that prevents the other players from being able to interrupt the flow. There are incentives built in to the play to encourage a multi-dimensional strategy. In other words, it doesn't end well when you focus on simply building roads, or gathering resources, or any other single dimensional strategy. You need to develop your roads, learn to trade your resources shrewdly, make improvements in your settlements, and look to developing your army. 


To add another entire level to the game, there are extensions that can be purchased separately that focus on more of the sea trade or expand it for additional players. There are also games for different historical periods and characters. So the possibilities are practically endless. Intriguing? 

The box recommends the game for ages 10 and up and, without the extension, up to four players can play together. With the extension, up to six can play. It takes about an hour to play a full game. If you wanted to include younger children, a parent could partner with a child and they could plan their strategy together. The cost is rather more than other board games. I think we paid a little over $30 for it and then the extensions are another $18, or so. But it is worth the investment. 


Settlers was exactly perfect for our afternoon.  

Book Review: Man of the Family

The sequel to Little Britches, Man of the Family picks up where Britches left off. Ralph Moody, in this autobiographical series, paints the reader right into the picture of his childhood. He and his family had moved to Colorado in 1906 when Ralph was eight years old. His father had to move west for health reasons and bought their "ranch" sight unseen, on the recommendation of a less-than-trustworthy cousin. To say they were shocked at first sight of their new home would be a gross understatement. The house was uninhabitable and the trip west had used up almost all their money. But it was these very circumstances that make the telling of this tale so remarkable.

Charlie, Ralph's father, was a man of integrity and ingenuity. And Ralph was an eager apprentice in these character qualities. Together they learned about ranching and building and animal husbandry. The frugality and resourcefulness they exhibit as a family is an inspiration. No challenge arose that wasn't manfully met. Even under the most desperate circumstances, there was a calm resolve to simply do their very best. 

At the end of Little Britches, everything changed for the family when Charlie died. Man of the Family received its title because that is the role Ralph stepped into at the ripe old age of eleven. Mrs. Moody, realizing they could not maintain the ranch with her husband gone, sold it to move into a house in town. The family had no visible means of support, but simply set to work finding ways to earn money. The work ethic of each member of the family is such an incredible example, and sets a wonderful standard for our little listeners as I have read it aloud during our school time. We have discussed many times how so many opportunities were offered to Ralph because he was such a hard worker and so determined to solve any problem that arose.

His love and skill with horses provided him with many adventures and ways to raise money for his family. But one of the things I loved the most about this book is all the ways the family found to work together to accomplish their projects. Mrs. Moody and her six children were an example to all those who knew them. And just when it looked like they had found a way to finally not live hand to mouth, the most unexpected crisis arises and forces Mrs. Moody to say this: "Children, I have to make the greatest decision of my life--possibly of our lives--and I need your help."

This is the second book in a series of seven. And when we finished it today, the kids begged me to immediately order the next one. I am already thinking that, if I time it right, we could still be reading through the next five installments when we go on our "epic road trip" later this year. We always take some great books to read aloud in the travel trailer before we go to bed at night. It can be a challenge, however, to find books written well enough to engage ages 49 down to 11, but these books would definitely accomplish that. 

This is #18 in the 52 in 52 challenge. 
 

Future Job Applicants, Part 2

To those young ladies who long to receive godly husbands from the Lord:


Let me tell you a little about some of the qualities you need to possess to be a blessing to a godly young man seeking a bride.

Have you laid marriage on the altar? Have you come to the place where you are whole in the Lord alone? Are you willing to be single, if that is what He asks of you? Or do you need someone to make you whole, someone to make you complete? If you cannot honestly tell the Lord that you are willing to never be married to anyone but Him, you should not enter a marriage relationship. Only when you come to the place of complete dependence on God to meet every need and desire in your heart are you truly free to receive the fullness of the blessings He has for you in marriage.

Do you honor your parents? Are you submitted to their authority? Do you have peace in that position? If you cannot answer "yes" to these questions, you are not marriage material. The Lord placed you under the authority of your parents to teach you the right relationship to Him and to your future husband. Your ability to honor them does not depend on how they treat you. Your ability to honor them is made possible through the Grace of your Father. He expects you to honor the position they hold, even if they are personally undeserving of honor because of a lack of character. There will be temptations in marriage for you to challenge the authority of your husband. If you have not learned how to properly submit to authority, trusting only in the Lord, then you are not ready for marriage.

Have you cultivated a servant's spirit? Do you walk in true humility: not thinking less of yourself, but thinking of yourself less? Do you delight in being poured out as a drink offering, holding nothing back as you serve wherever He calls you to serve? Or does your service need to be acknowledged? Does your willingness to serve, or your attitude in that service depend on how you are treated? If you do not understand the true position of servanthood in the spirit of a wife, then you best ask the Lord to teach you the lesson well. You will be called to serve selflessly from the moment you say, "I do." The Glory potential in your marriage is largely dependent on your understanding of this principle. If you allow Him to use You however He sees fit, your marriage will bring Him great Glory. If you, however, insist on a specific "job description", you are not ready for marriage.

Are you self-disciplined? Do you know the responsibilities the Lord has already given you? Are you faithfully fulfilling those responsibilities? Or do you allow what you want to do come before what you need to do? Do you take care of your room? Do you take care of a specific list of responsibilities within your family? Or do you need constant reminders and external motivation to complete your tasks? As a wife, you will be responsible for many things. Your home should be a well-ordered refuge of peace, running efficiently so that you may minister to your husband, future children, and those the Lord sends to you to receive the gift of hospitality. Your training ground for these disciplines is the home of your parents. Seek to learn these skills well while you have a "safety net". The transition to being in charge of your own home will be smooth and relatively painless if you "own" these things from the beginning and already understand how to structure your time and energies to effectively and efficiently carry them out. 

Have you allowed the Lord to lead you into an intimate relationship with Him? One that communes with Him on a daily basis? Do you pour your heart out to Him? Do you wait at His Feet? Do you spend time in His Word daily? You cannot stand under the assaults of this life if you are not grafted onto the Vine, drawing your very life, every breath from the Source. This relationship must come first for you to be able to fully, freely enter the covenant of marriage.

Do you understand a covenant? This is foundational for marriage. Our world has no idea what this type of relationship is about. When two people "cut covenant", they actually cease to be individuals. They become one with each other in a way that cannot be undone. Ever. When people end a marriage, they don't simply go their separate ways, a little bruised and battered. Because of the union that takes place in a covenant, the only way to separate the "two who became one" is to literally rip that relationship in two, permanently scarring both halves. Pieces of your heart will go with his heart and pieces of his will stay with yours. The covenant of marriage must be approached with the understanding that there will be no "out." Your commitment from Day One is essential. You must not entertain any thought of walking away. In entertaining that thought you are give

Does Joy overflow your heart? Your husband, strong as he is, will need this from you. He will need to know that, regardless of the circumstances you face together, your Joy is the fixed attitude of your heart as you walk in gratitude and thanksgiving. There will be hard times. He is designed to protect you. He wants to "fix" things so that you are happy. But that is impossible if your happiness is not rooted in Joy. Your husband wants a cheerful, fun companion. He wants to be free to enjoy your company. He needs to know he can trust you with his heart. But if you are not grounded in Joy, he won't have that freedom to let you see the things that scare him. He will try to shield you from anything he thinks will upset you instead of allowing you in to the deepest reaches of his soul. He needs to know you are brave, to face whatever comes with him. That helps him be brave. It sets him free to go out and fight those fierce battles real men fight. Joy in your spirit allows him to fully engage the responsibilities of his life.

I had a very interesting conversation with our oldest son this morning. It was completely unsolicited, he just started talking. He told me the Lord is calling Him deeper. He has already come to the place where his life is not his own and he believes the path the Lord is preparing for him may cost him his life. He has Peace about that. Yes, you might be thinking, "He is young. He doesn't really understand." And you would be right. To a point. He is young. And none of us truly understand what that Path will cost us. But he is serious. And the Lord is tempering him in preparation for complete obedience. 

As a natural part of this calling on his life, he has told the Lord that his future does not belong to him. He has laid marriage on the altar. "I am whole, complete in Him. I need nothing else. I need no one else to complete me. The Lord has already done that." This is what he said this morning. He then went on to tell me that none of the young ladies he has known understand this principle of completion. He was actually wondering if there are any young women out there who do. I told him there are. But that they are rare. 


Those are the wives we ask the Lord to provide for our sons, if the Lord calls them to marriage. We know there are young women who are being raised to be wonderful, godly wives. But they are rare. "A wife of noble character who can find? She is worth far more than rubies."        

Young ladies, as you contemplate the choices before you, understand that dying to self, dying to your future are the only ways to truly receive the desires of your hearts. There are young men worthy of such a sacrifice. There are young men who will rejoice greatly, if you allow the Lord His Way with you. But in the end, the greatest reward for a life lived for Him is Him. 

I did not know these things when Kregg asked me to be his bride. I am so very thankful he is patient and He is patient. I offer these things to you as a gift, a blessing, hoping they will be received in that context. I have not been a good example of all of these things over the years, but He is Faithfully revealing more every day, every moment about how to be the wife He has called me to be. If, through His Grace, you learn to walk this path early in your life, your heart and the heart of your husband will be spared much pain and grief. The Lord will accomplish these things in You if you ask Him. He longs to bless you. And me. 

Future Job Applicants, Part 1

Cozi Calendar

                  
A sweet friend told me about a wonderful tool. I think I am in love! And it's FREE! Yipee! It's called Cozi calendar and it's an online organizational system you can use for your families activities. I don't know how many times our big kids have said that they didn't know we had this event planned or that event planned. They are in and out so much, they never got the memo. With this calendar, any of our family can go online from their computers or their phones to check our family schedule or add an event. 

Features I am learning to love:

• Each family member has a different color code
• You can enter recurring events and set the cycle of the repetition
• You can print out a calendar for the entire family
• Or you can print one out for each family member with just their events
• You can set up a reminder so that a specific person receives a text or email ahead of the appointment
• There is an shopping list so that you can access it from your phone while you are at the store
• I never have to enter birthdays and anniversaries again!
• It has a journal function where you can keep an online family photo album and journal
• It has a "to do" list
• If you use Outlook, it will sync with that program 

 I have kept a little date book in my purse for years that I kept up with all our "stuff". That was great for me, but anytime anyone needed to know something, I had to check for them. This way, I can have a reminder text sent an hour before one of the big kids need to be at the dentist. Once I put it on the calendar, then I don't really have to think about that event again. This is going to make me more efficient. And that is always a good thing!


Here's the link, and here's my disclaimer again: these people have no idea who I am and I get absolutely nothing by telling you that I think this is a great idea!

Deer Chili

Always a disclaimer first when dealing with cooking: I'm no expert! 

That having been said, there is one other thing. To all of my friends who are gifted cooks and who enjoy making most things from scratch: STOP! Do not read this post. You will be horrified because there are many canned goods involved.  :)

My husband and children have been busy during this deer season. The result? My freezer contains the remains of many deer. I don't like deer. I try not to think about them in their little white packages on the shelves of my freezer. It is all in my head, I know, but I have found no remedy. So my challenge is: what to do with all that venison? The answer? Lots of deer chili.


This recipe is from the father of a friend of my older kids. And it is delicious! Even if it contains deer! And it is easy!! Even for a busy day! I love to start it at lunch and let it sit in the crock pot all afternoon. Add some grated Monterrey Jack cheese, maybe a dollop of sour cream and dig in! We like to fix a big batch of cornbread to go with it.

As usual, I double the recipe to feed the horde or I guess I should say swarm since we are talking about the Antbed. 

Here goes:

Brown 1 1/2 lbs of ground venison, elk, beef, then drain. (You can use half pork, if you like, or you can use a round steak. If you go for the steak, sear it in an iron skillet and then cook it in a crock pot overnight, leaving out the beef broth.)

I just dump each additional ingredient in the crock pot.  Told you it was easy.

This is the picture I didn't want my friends who "really" cook to see! :)

Add:
1 chopped onion (or not--my husband doesn't much care for onions)
3 chopped cloves of garlic
2-14 1/2 oz cans of crushed tomatoes in thick puree
1-14 1/2 oz can Rotel tomatoes
1 can kidney beans (after draining and rinsing)
2 cans pinto beans (after draining and rinsing)
1 can beef broth (skim first)
1/4 tsp. salt
3-4 tsp cumin (that is not a misprint)
2 tsp coriander
1-2 Tablespoons chili powder
1 can of chopped green chilis 


Simmer

That's it! And my family loves it!!


For extra heat, add:
Jalapenos (the sliced ones in a jar), including some of the juice
Cayenne powder
Continue to simmer.

Eat!