Lack of Effort or Lack of Ability?

A childish, yet valiant attempt at constructing a coil pot

I need Wisdom. 


It would be nice if we could use a diagnostic computer, like they use on cars, hook the kids up to it, and figure out what was wrong, why things aren't "running" well. But, then we wouldn't have to humble ourselves before the Father and ask for help. And, as a parent, that's the very best place to be.


We try very hard around here to focus on root causes in the heart, not outward manifestations. 


Our specific area of need right at this moment, the area that has me asking Him for Help is this: I need Wisdom in order to discern whether two frustrated young scholars in our homeschool are actually unable or unwilling to do their work. Are they doing their best, but are simply incapable of processing some information? Or are they, because of a lack of motivation or interest, allowing their minds to wander? Or worse yet, not engaging their minds?


We don't know what Josh and Ben went through during their first several years. We know it was tragic, though. Members of their extended family are the ones who turned their parents in to the Russian government for neglecting their two little boys. They suffered rickets and were malnourished when we brought them home. Their parents were severe alcoholics, and though the boys show no outward signs of Fetal Alcohol Syndrome, there are quite possibly effects that cause them problems. 


Beyond the physical health issues, the fact that their birth parents were drunk most of the time means the boys received little, if any, mental stimulation. I wonder if they ever had a book read to them by their parents. Did they take them to a park? Did they tell them stories? Did they explain things to them? Even in their native language, their vocabulary was minuscule. 


None of those things were their faults. They truly were completely defenseless, at the mercy of parents whose lives were bound up in a bottle of vodka--to the point that, when the government workers came and took Oleg and Sergey away, those parents never again contacted their little boys. They never answered government correspondence concerning the fate of their children. They never wrote to them. They never traveled to see them. After two years in the orphanage, they had made no progress toward finding help and their parental rights were terminated.


All of those things have lasting consequences that affect them still.


But that doesn't mean we simply accept their delays and challenges as unchangeable. When we find the right motivation, it's amazing how much better their brains function. (snicker, snicker) When they know they won't get to go to Boy Scouts, or get their "roping rope" back, their work suddenly improves. Which speaks volumes.


But there are those days when things just do not make sense, no matter what we do. There are those days when, no matter how it is explained to them, a concept just doesn't register. There are times when I cannot come up with a single, additional way to explain something that causes "the light" to come on.


The line between lack of effort and lack of ability is often blurry. Wisdom is required. 


And not just for Josh and Ben. For all of them. In fact, one of our older children was very challenged in school work. Understanding that physical age and learning level are not the same for everyone is essential. And I have to continue to remind myself that, even though the boys are almost 14 and 15, their developmental age was derailed for several years while they were in Russia. 


Our expectations for our children need to be high. They need to be challenging. We need to encourage them to work hard and achieve what they thought impossible. Mediocrity is never a blessing. But neither is perfectionism. Finding the balance between effort and ability encourages the kids to do their best, without discouraging them with unrealistic expectations.


We want our children to be prepared for everything the Lord calls them to be and do. By striving for excellence in effort and performance, they are challenged to stretch beyond what is easy. They don't respect themselves when they know their effort is less than it should be, and we aren't doing them any favors to accept less. Whatever they are capable of doing for His Glory, we desire for them to do with excellence.


But Wisdom is required to see the balance.

Things We Love: LibraryThing

Our family loves books! 


I'm a master at stating the obvious. 


The family library reached the point of requiring serious intervention in order to fully utilize the resources we had collected. 

Not having a dedicated "library" like Henry Higgins in "My Fair Lady," we had to come up with a solution that would work with our space.


I needed a system that would allow me to find the books we needed, when we needed them. I don't remember for sure, but I think I did an online search for information and suggestions for organizational ideas.


I had never heard of LibraryThing.com before, but it came up and, after checking it out, I paid for a lifetime membership! (A whopping $25) 


What is it, you ask?


It is an online database for books! You create an account, a very simple process, and then you can begin entering your books. I actually ordered a little USB scanner ($15) for the books that had bar codes. That way, you can scan it and all the information for that title is entered into your database. You'd be amazed how many facts are tied to that little bar code. It's like magic to have the author, illustrator, publisher, etc., just pop up on your screen. If you have a large number of books with bar codes, the price of the scanner is well worth it!


Many of our books are older and don't have bar codes. For those, you simply type in the ISBN or Library of Congress number, and the search will bring up your title. Sometimes there are multiple choices that come up for one number. In that case you locate the one that matches your volume and click on it. The information is added to your collection.


For the books that predated ISBN's and Library of Congress numbers, you have the option of manually entering all the information. In that case, you can enter as much or as little as you choose, whatever serves the purpose for which you need it.


Each entry also has the option of tagging your book. This is where it gets really good. For our purposes, I need to be able to locate all the books on a specific topic. As I entered each book, I tagged it with the topic or time period that I could later locate. I have a stack of index cards that have each tag number on it and the shelf location for that tag in our house.


Once you have your books entered, Library Thing allows you to search your data base in any number of ways. You could search by author, or by tag, or by title, etc.


There is no limit on the number of books you can enter. You could also use it for dvd's/blue rays, if you wanted. Anything you want to catalog or quantify can be entered in a system that works for what you need. 


For those of us who have large libraries, the data base also serves as a record for insurance purposes, just in case. 


Because our library was large (about 5000), the initial job of entering the books was enormous. Once that was behind us, however, it is so simple to maintain and add new volumes. When we bring home a new book, we enter the information and then shelve it according to our shelving system, and that's it. It's wonderful.


As a homeschooler, I was really frustrated keeping the resources organized and accessible so that they could be efficiently and easily accessed. I might know I had a book on a particular subject or time period, and then be unable to find it at a moment's notice when the kids' interest was piqued. It's not good to miss that window. Now, all I have to do is pull up our collection on Library Thing and search by title, author, or tag and then, according to that tag we know where to look for the book.


One more resource that might bless you: Library Thing

Book Review: The Bronze Bow

The time period in which this book is set has always been fascinating to me. The Roman Empire intersecting Christ! It's hard to imagine a more critical era as the stage was being set for the Plan to be played out before mankind.


The might of Rome held the world by the throat, and that little patch of land by the Jordan River wasn't happy about the occupation by their conquerors. There was a seething unrest that simmered under the surface while the Jews went about their lives, all the while holding their collective breaths, waiting for the promised deliverer to throw off the Roman yoke and restore to their nation the glorious days of David, the shepherd King. 


The story centers around a young man named Daniel, whose parents had died through Rome's cruelty. He had allowed his grief to become hate, and for his hate to define him. He lived only to exact vengeance. So consuming was his malice, that he abandoned the only family members remaining to him: his grandmother and his young sister.  


He chose a new family that fed his anger: a band of robbers living in the hills above his village. He believed the leader of this band was the promised deliverer and would lead an army against Rome's legions. 


The freedom he felt atop that mountain was an illusion because it was at the expense of his responsibilities to his grandmother and sister. He thought only of himself, never wondering how they fared, until a message arrived from his friend, Simon, in the village. That message, a request that he visit, was the beginning of the end of life on the mountain. 


He was shocked to find them living a subsistence existence with his elderly grandmother working everyday, from morning till night, in the fields to provide barely enough food for them to survive. His sister, Leah, had never emotionally recovered from the death of her parents and had become a complete recluse, never venturing outside their tiny house, never seeing another person. The neighbors thought she was possessed and were afraid of her. 


Even though their needs were desperate, Daniel convinced himself that he was serving a larger purpose by returning to the mountain to await the nation's opportunity at freedom. 


While walking down a path one day, he happened upon a brother and sister who were exploring. Unlikely as it seemed, they became fast friends. Daniel even recruited his new friend, Joel, to be the robber leader's contact inside the city. The intrigue and excitement was intoxicating and they enjoyed their secretive meetings held in Joel's father's house in Capernaum. 


During this time, a Teacher came to the shores of the Sea of Galilee. Daniel's friend, Simon, began following him, listening to his teachings. When Daniel's grandmother died, Simon actually offered Daniel the keys to his blacksmith shop in their little village, since he no longer needed it. Daniel was angry at first, but knew he could no longer shirk the responsibility he had toward his sister. 


Many changes followed. He went to listen to the Teacher, and began to wonder if this man might be the deliverer instead of the chief of the robbers. His sister began to improve as he learned to show her love. Daniel, a natural leader, began to quietly recruit young men from his village to attend secret meetings where they dreamed and schemed of ways to bring The Day of Deliverance closer. A Roman soldier began frequenting Daniel's blacksmith shop, and it was all Daniel could do to accept his items for repair. Little did he know, that young Roman soldier had secretly begun speaking to Daniel's sister over their little garden wall. Daniel's friend in Capernaum had taken on spying assignments, trying to learn things that could help their cause.


The climax arrived when he learned that his friend had been arrested by the Romans. Daniel immediately climbed the mountain to enlist the help of his hero, but his pleas were rejected. Refusing to leave Joel to his fate, Daniel and his small band of young patriots met to plan a rescue attempt. Though the rescue was accomplished, the price paid was beyond anything Daniel had previously imagined. 


In the dark pit of despair, grief and guilt, Daniel became violently angry with his sister upon learning that the Roman soldier had brought her a gift of a basket of fruit. Leah, so recently returned to even the smallest interaction with people, was unable to bear the outburst and retreated into the shadows of her mind. She grew worse and worse until she became gravely ill. Just at the point when Daniel had given up, the Teacher arrived, at the request of Joel's sister. 


You will have to read the book to find out what happens next. Elizabeth George Speare paints a picture of a living, breathing, Loving Jesus that touched us deeply. It can be so easy to reduce Him to a theology, a religion. We can forget that He was a real Man Who walked among us, loving us, touching us, healing us. This book reminded us about the true meaning of the Incarnation, God as Man. It is a wonderful read!


We have enjoyed several of Elizabeth George Speare's other books: Calico Captive, The Witch of Blackbird Pond, and The Sign of the Beaver.

An Introvert Living in a House Full of People! A Link-Up in "Pages in Our Heritage of Faith"

A friend asked me an interesting question not long ago. He didn't believe me when I told him I was an introvert, so he asked me if it "recharges" me to be around a group of people, or if I "recharge" by being alone. I told him it was most definitely and unequivocally when I am ALONE! 


But that almost never happens!


My sweet husband has, several times over the years, said he would love for me to have a "break." (Those comments are usually forthcoming when he gazes into my eyes and notices that I'm "glazing" over.) Brainstorming for ways that a "mom's time-out" could be accomplished, he would dream up several different options, all of which involved me going somewhere, often times with a friend/sister, to "do" something fun.


I told him that what sounds blissful to me is simply to check into a room in a hotel here, in town, for a couple of days. I could stay up as long as I wanted, sleep until I woke up, and take the stack of books I'm reading at the moment. Now, that's what I call a "break!"


Hasn't happened yet. It's not because he wouldn't let me, it's just that I haven't felt like the timing was right. Yet.


Hope does spring eternal. After all, I'm only 24 1/2 years into this journey of motherhood. 


It could still happen.


You just never know.


In the meantime, this introvert will continue living in the "antbed," learning to trust His Grace when my batteries need to be recharged, even in the midst of the mob. 


And He does always recharge me.


Today was a perfect example. 


Our homeschool is intense. Very. Intense. 


Today, I wanted to run away. I had a stack of math, spelling, grammar, Greek & Latin, and dictation papers to check, the boys needed me to help review their rough drafts in composition, the girls needed me to help them check their final copies of an essay, and I felt my spirit tensing up. The thought went through my mind, "Just tell them to go do their reading and you can go hide for a little while in your bedroom." 


There are times when that is actually a wise choice. 


This wasn't one of them. 


This was a time to not leave a single thing out, not using any excuses from the "emotional duress" category, but allowing His Grace to flow over and through me. 


That's not always what I choose. I sometimes choose what I want instead of what He wants. I sometimes give myself excuses to not do what is best because it's hard. 


It was precious, though, because Grace (the power and the desire to do His Will) allowed me to choose Peace, and to go through every assignment with each child, just the way it needed to happen. For them and for me. They needed to complete their work with excellence. I needed to facilitate that process in a cheerful, helpful way. 


If I had chosen what I wanted, I would have bolted. 


At least, my heart was telling me that's what I wanted.


The Truth of the matter, though, is that I really didn't want to choose the "easy way out." But it required His Grace for me to know that and for Him to accomplish it in me. My strength was not sufficient. It never is.


When we made it through the thick of the daily assignments, and everyone had worked hard to faithfully finish what their responsibilities required, we all felt a sense of accomplishment that only comes through pressing through the "sticking places" to finish the race.


I'm so thankful He helped me choose what I needed to choose.


Now, if it does work out one of these days where I can go check into a hotel for a couple of days to allow this introvert-who-is-constantly-living-outside-her-comfort-zone "recharge" in that way, you won't have to worry about the door hitting me on the way out. :)


Until then, I'm supposed to learn how to dive deeper into His Fathomless Grace. Wonder if I will ever learn to do more than a "dogie paddle" . . .

I would love to hear your stories of His Faithfulness in your life. Link up with us here and tell us all about it. He has been Faithful this week, this month, this year, we just have to pay attention. 


Thank all of you who have linked up in the past. What a blessing you have been to me!

If Shakespeare Told "The 3 Little Pigs"

Photo credit

Okay, I don't like the "fake cigarette," but this is hilarious! As a homeschooling parent who intentionally attempts to expand the vocabularies of our kids, I can really appreciate his efforts. I think you will enjoy this little video:




And then, here's the video explaining the cigarette, just in case you wanted to know. 

They Love Those Critters!

"It is a monstrous abuse of the science of biology to teach it only in the laboratory---Life belongs in the fields, in the ponds, on the mountains, and by the seashore."
James G. Needham




I'm not the sharpest knife in the drawer, but even I am beginning to see a pattern here.

It's been going on for years.

It crosses "gender lines."

It covers all species.


Our children LOVE animals. And have forever! 


I love to see animals, but I don't feel the need to touch them. And I certainly don't feel the need to have them as pets! The kids, however, want to invite them all into our house!

It doesn't matter to these kids whether their latest "catch" is young,

or old.

Crustaceans, 

insects,

mammals,

birds,

fish, it doesn't matter to them. I actually had to explain to the girls that we could NOT put this in a big aquarium!

Or this!

How did she even see this tiny little praying mantis?

Ben couldn't just help herd this cow into the chute--he had to ride it.

They're everywhere!

And, of course, they always have to bring them in to show me.

It's on the bar stool!

I try to practice total denial when it comes to these things! I know they live in my house, but if I don't think about it, I can pretend they aren't in the kid's bedrooms. 


Rebekah's birthday is coming up and guess what she wants?! Another snake! And now she's added a chameleon to her wish list!!! EEEEKKKK!

They even tried to convince us that we needed one of these! Where on earth do they think we could put him? How on earth would we feed him?!

The two tiniest finches figured out how to escape their cage, which required the purchase of a new cage. But that left the bigger finch in the first cage all by itself. Of course, that wouldn't work. So this is the newest addition to the aviary. Now everyone has a buddy. I always get sucked into these schemes.

"Cup 'O Toad" is NOT my "cup of tea!"

As Spring approaches, I must steel myself. There are mental and emotional preparations that need to be made. There will be more critters. And they will come into my house. My plan? Make sure they go OUT of my house after their "photo shoot."

Planting Scripture in Our Hearts

The process we must undergo to become more and more like Jesus takes place in every level of our being. A large part of the battleground is that of our thoughts. Learning to think His Thoughts, by engrafting Scripture into our souls, helps change how we think. 


An important part of our homeschooling is the memorization of large sections of Scripture. The kids have learned to quote many chapters. It's easier for some of them than it is for others, but all of them have learned so much! It takes lots of little steps, consistently taken, to "get there from here." I am so thankful for what they've learned, believing it will help them have the Mind of Christ Jesus as we seek to better reflect Him to all those around us.


Elizabeth, #5 of 7, is very shy. She doesn't like to talk in front of others, unless she knows them very well. But she is a memorizing machine. :) And, when I saw on A Holy Experience that Ann was encouraging all of us to learn the Sermon on the Mount, and then to link up a video of what we are learning, I asked her, since she's already memorized it, if she would like to link up a video. She said she would like to. So here she is, the sweet little thing, quoting Matthew 5, 6, and 7.


It encourages me and the other kids to keep working on it. 

Great Backyard Bird Count

There's a neat opportunity for all of us this weekend. The Great Backyard Bird Count starts tomorrow and runs for four days. It's a great chance to intentionally notice the birds wintering in your yard.

There's a very helpful website with everything you need to get started. You can print out a checklist for the birds likely to be seen in your area, by your zipcode. Then, grab a pair of binoculars, a field guide, and a comfy perch and watch for at least 15 minutes. You can watch as long as you like on one day or all four. The information gathered is compiled online and helps scientists understand how the different populations are faring. 

It's a great opportunity to help your kids understand the work of scientists and to participate in the gathering of usable data. Who knows? You may be raising a budding ornithologist! 

If birdwatching is a new skill for your kids, it would be helpful to look at the field guide ahead of time and notice the identifying characteristics of the birds you are likely to see. It can be a little frustrating when you are trying to look at a bird that keeps moving or actually leaves, while looking it up in the field guide to make a positive identification. 

There is also a wonderful website called The Handbook of Nature Study with additional information on all kinds of nature studies. She offers wonderful resources, many of them free, others at a nominal fee.