We alternate holidays with our families. Christmas 2011 was a "Conder Christmas." We convene at my in-laws and commence the celebration. And part of that celebration is a new family picture. It's always amazing to see how many new faces have been added since the last picture, and how much more gray I have in my hair. :)
Hannah has taken our picture the last couple of times and she does a beautiful job. This one was taken in the Welcome Center on the campus of Abilene Christian University. Our niece's sweet husband has "connections" so we could get in the building. With this many in the picture, the main goal for the photographer is simply to get as many people with their eyes open and looking toward the camera as possible.
Amazingly, Hannah took this picture and then PhotoShop-ed herself into it. And Samuel, our grandson, was the only one not looking at the camera, so she took his head out of another one of the shots and stuck it on his body in this one. I assure you, the process was quite bloodless and painless.
As difficult as it is to coordinate an undertaking with this many variables, I'm so thankful everyone made the effort. Having a record of our time together is priceless. We always try to be thankful, but seeing this picture this week is especially precious.
You see, Grandpa has Multiple Myeloma.
He was diagnosed six years ago. And it broke the hearts of everyone in that picture.
It is not curable, medically. The goal in treatment is remission. He underwent a stem cell transplant that almost killed him. In preparation, the patient is given a substance that causes the body to produce millions of new stem cells. These are harvested. Then a massive dose of chemo is administered to kill off almost everything. For a month, Audie was deathly ill.
We prayed.
For the past 5 1/2 years, he has not required any cancer treatment. None! And we have been blessed to have his presence in our lives, in the lives of our children. And the magnitude of that blessing is beyond description. We have savored every moment we've had in his presence.
He and Marlene travel to M. D. Anderson every few months for routine checkups. We have been warned that it will come back. It's just a matter of when. Last week, when they went, one of the tests came back with elevated numbers. The doctors are concerned he may be coming out of remission. A follow up test after they returned home had some of the numbers back down to normal, and we are praising the Lord for that.
They will return to Houston in a few weeks, instead of months, for the doctors to try and evaluate the situation more clearly.
Spending part of last weekend with them, you would never have known they were facing anything other than the need to mow the yard or make plans to remodel their kitchen. They both walk in such Peace and Love that they are a blessing to everyone around them.
We are praying for healing. That's what we all want. We want to keep both of them here with us forever because we love them so much. We know the Lord knows our hearts. And He Loves them more than we do! Because of that, we can all choose Peace. Even in the midst of circumstances that could break our hearts, He is Faithful and everything He allows into our lives is the most loving way for Him to accomplish His Purposes. And so we praise Him! We will praise Him for whatever path they are called to walk, trusting Him.
What an incredible God we serve! He is Worthy of all our praise, adoration, and confidence.
I would be blessed to read of His Faithfulness in your lives. Would you join us as we testify of His Faithfulness to us? It is amazing to see His Hand in our lives, His Presence with us as we walk through life. What more could we need or desire? He is Enough.
A friend asked me an interesting question not long ago. He didn't believe me when I told him I was an introvert, so he asked me if it "recharges" me to be around a group of people, or if I "recharge" by being alone. I told him it was most definitely and unequivocally when I am ALONE!
But that almost never happens!
My sweet husband has, several times over the years, said he would love for me to have a "break." (Those comments are usually forthcoming when he gazes into my eyes and notices that I'm "glazing" over.) Brainstorming for ways that a "mom's time-out" could be accomplished, he would dream up several different options, all of which involved me going somewhere, often times with a friend/sister, to "do" something fun.
I told him that what sounds blissful to me is simply to check into a room in a hotel here, in town, for a couple of days. I could stay up as long as I wanted, sleep until I woke up, and take the stack of books I'm reading at the moment. Now, that's what I call a "break!"
Hasn't happened yet. It's not because he wouldn't let me, it's just that I haven't felt like the timing was right. Yet.
Hope does spring eternal. After all, I'm only 24 1/2 years into this journey of motherhood.
It could still happen.
You just never know.
In the meantime, this introvert will continue living in the "antbed," learning to trust His Grace when my batteries need to be recharged, even in the midst of the mob.
And He does always recharge me.
Today was a perfect example.
Our homeschool is intense. Very. Intense.
Today, I wanted to run away. I had a stack of math, spelling, grammar, Greek & Latin, and dictation papers to check, the boys needed me to help review their rough drafts in composition, the girls needed me to help them check their final copies of an essay, and I felt my spirit tensing up. The thought went through my mind, "Just tell them to go do their reading and you can go hide for a little while in your bedroom."
There are times when that is actually a wise choice.
This wasn't one of them.
This was a time to not leave a single thing out, not using any excuses from the "emotional duress" category, but allowing His Grace to flow over and through me.
That's not always what I choose. I sometimes choose what I want instead of what He wants. I sometimes give myself excuses to not do what is best because it's hard.
It was precious, though, because Grace (the power and the desire to do His Will) allowed me to choose Peace, and to go through every assignment with each child, just the way it needed to happen. For them and for me. They needed to complete their work with excellence. I needed to facilitate that process in a cheerful, helpful way.
If I had chosen what I wanted, I would have bolted.
At least, my heart was telling me that's what I wanted.
The Truth of the matter, though, is that I really didn't want to choose the "easy way out." But it required His Grace for me to know that and for Him to accomplish it in me. My strength was not sufficient. It never is.
When we made it through the thick of the daily assignments, and everyone had worked hard to faithfully finish what their responsibilities required, we all felt a sense of accomplishment that only comes through pressing through the "sticking places" to finish the race.
I'm so thankful He helped me choose what I needed to choose.
Now, if it does work out one of these days where I can go check into a hotel for a couple of days to allow this introvert-who-is-constantly-living-outside-her-comfort-zone "recharge" in that way, you won't have to worry about the door hitting me on the way out. :)
Until then, I'm supposed to learn how to dive deeper into His Fathomless Grace. Wonder if I will ever learn to do more than a "dogie paddle" . . .
I would love to hear your stories of His Faithfulness in your life. Link up with us here and tell us all about it. He has been Faithful this week, this month, this year, we just have to pay attention.
Thank all of you who have linked up in the past. What a blessing you have been to me!
