The Latest Link-Up in "Pages in Our Heritage of Faith"

The Happy Couple going in to get their marriage license

Scores of people are heading our way. The programs are almost finished. The list of “to-do’s” that couldn’t be done until now is formidable. The weather is still the unknown variable. The marriage license had to wait until now because they both have to go, and Kris lives in Oklahoma. There have been a few glitches in our carefully orchestrated plan: an over zealous son wielding a pickax smashing the sewer line, two more snakes have become ill, four families requesting the kids’ help taking care of their houses and pets while they leave town this week of all weeks, thinking the music for the ceremony was all ready only to find out that it is yet to do, Elizabeth’s asthma flaring.


You can read the rest here, and jump in on the link-up.

Smack Between the Eyes: A Link-Up in "Pages in Our Heritage of Faith"

I am so thankful for this man. We have been married for over 26 years, parenting for over 24 of those years, and he still loves me. :) 


He generally avoids confrontations, whenever possible. But there are those times when, as the head of our family, a situation requires his gentle, but firm touch.


Today, it was me.


I required him to speak Truth into my life because I have been careless at times with the tone of voice with which I speak to my family. He lovingly explained the situation and then prayed over me.


How can you argue with that?  He's right. I can allow frustration or weariness to build inside my soul and then speak harshly to the kids or to him. That's not okay. And every time I do it, a spirit is wounded by my tone. 


I didn't want to hear it. But I needed to hear it. He did exactly what he was supposed to do as the one in authority over me. And I am thankful for it. Even though it was unpleasant, he loves me enough to give me what I need, not just what I want. 


And that's exactly what my Father does for me. He Faithfully convicts, corrects, and offers Grace for me so that I may learn to choose better going forward. He will not leave me here, at this point in my sanctification process. He doesn't want me to speak harshly to anyone, and so He, through my husband's authority, rebuked and corrected me and my heart is at peace, knowing that I am guilty as charged, knowing that they both love me too much to allow me to continue.


I'm thankful.


Today has been filled with a gentle tone of voice. And we are all better off. Any frustration or weariness needs to be taken to Him, not dumped on my sweet family. 

The Lord's Faithfulness is evident in so many ways. And I love to take notes when He, again, displays His never-ever-ending Faithfulness to me, or my family. It helps me to chronicle this Journey of sanctification so that, when the hard times come around again, I can look back and remember that, no matter how hard things seem, He will never leave me nor forsake me. Never, ever, ever. And that fills my heart with Hope.


I would love for you to link up a post here that testifies of His Faithfulness to you or to those you love. It can be something you wrote a long time ago, or something you type out right now. We give Him Glory when we declare the Truth about His nature. So jump right in with both feet. :)

This Season of Preparation

The weeks drag on for Mackenzy. She wrestles with her heart. With her fiance over 400 miles away, both of them working lots of hours, taking lots of classes, and having schedules that are mostly opposites, phone calls are few and far between, and it makes the waiting harder for her. She misses him. He misses her. And it's easy for them to just want the waiting to hurry up and be over.


Plans for the wedding are progressing. We have lots of the big pieces in place, but there are still millions of tiny details to determine. And during all the planning and working and studying, preparations need to be made in their hearts.


It's always a transition, learning to live together. It requires so much Grace. Even when you are deeply in Love, there will be sharp edges that need to be smoothed away. Preparing your heart to humbly walk the path of becoming one requires lots of prayer.


And that's what we are encouraging Mackenzy to do: trust the Lord for His Purposes in this season and don't miss the lessons available in the next few months.


During seasons that are unpleasant, the temptation is to wish them away. We can be tempted to shift into a survival mentality, planning to go through the motions, hoping the time will pass quickly and the unpleasant season will be over. 


But if we succumb to that temptation, we can miss learning things the Lord has for us in those unique times and circumstances. As students in His Classroom during this life, there are always lessons to be learned, Blessings to be found in His work on our hearts. 


Are our eyes open?


Do we expect Him to teach us in every situation? Every season?


The rate of our growth toward spiritual maturity is directly affected by our attentiveness "in class." When we expect lessons, we can often see Purpose where we otherwise would only chafe under unpleasant circumstances. 


There's always a lesson to learn that will help make us more into the image of Christ and to better prepare us for what lies ahead. Are we being good "students?"


Mackenzy is learning. And so are we. During these last few months with her living at home, we don't want to miss any lessons He has for us.


May we each walk in Wisdom, trusting His Purpose in all the circumstances He allows into our lives.

Resolutely

Being shaped into something useful

It's the third day of January, and while we sat in worship Sunday, I was reminded of the verse in Luke where Christ is described as "resolutely" setting His Face toward Jerusalem and His appointment with the Cross. That word is so forceful, so determined. 


He had a mission and nothing on Earth or in Hell could prevent Him from accomplishing it.


How do I approach the "missions" I have been given?

• Daughter of the King
• Wife
• Mother
• Grandmother
• Mother-in-law
• Homeschool teacher
• Homemaker
• Sister
• Friend
• Shepherding couple at church

How seriously do I take these responsibilities, day in and day out? Am I expecting growth in my ability to meet each of these needs? Am I working at it? Studying? Praying? Learning? Or am I complacent, believing I "know enough to get by?" Am I content with the level of growth already attained?

Resolutely.

That word cannot be used with mediocrity. Apathy. Complacency.

I do not believe that thoughts just pop into our heads. I believe those thoughts have a source. 

The evil one loves to "zing us" with arrows of temptation, doubt, unrighteousness. And so when a thought enters my mind that is not holy, righteous, lovely, the source is definitely not the Spirit. It's either my sinful flesh or the enemy.

But when a thought enters my mind that challenges me to be more like Him, there can only be one Source: the Holy Spirit.

So when the verse from Luke entered my mind Sunday morning, the process of elimination immediately rules out two of the three sources, leaving The Spirit. And when He places something in my mind, I need to pay attention. 

Last year, the idea of focusing on specific words for the year helped me grow more aware of striving to become more Christlike in my thoughts, words, and actions. It helped to put the year and its events in context. 

Toward the end of 2011, it seemed there was little, if any, time to focus on the coming year. It was more about trying to keep up with the next thing on the list, with no wiggle room for contemplation. 

So, isn't it just like Him to speak to my spirit during worship on the very first day of the new year? What a Loving Father! What a patient Teacher! What Grace!

Resolutely.

We already know this year will be filled to overflowing with His Blessings. Our calendar for 2012 has several major family events on it, and we're only three days in. Kregg is less than a month into his new job and the learning curve is extreme. There's a wedding and trips to plan. There is so much that could distract. So much that could dilute.

But if I am to be resolute in learning what He has for me in the next twelve months, He must help me focus. He must help me be intentional. I love the analogy of a laser: light that is so focused, it can cut through just about anything. When His Light is focused in my spirit, change will come, growth will come. I will become a more effective tool in His Hand. I will be more disciplined, more aware. 

That all sounds so very serious.

And I must confess that I can be too serious at times. I can be too "shortest distance between two points." I can be guilty of missing the vast reserves of Joy in each and every moment of each and every day. I don't want to miss an ounce. Of the Joy or the Growth. 

So 2012 is, for me, a time to be resolute in focusing on Him and the jobs He has given me to accomplish for His Glory.

How does that affect the choices I will make in each of the roles He has assigned to me?

The key will be prayer. Prayer. Prayer. Prayer. That is the only way for me to be resolute. He will call me to prayer. And He will meet me there and change me. It gives me such an exciting sense of anticipation! I truly feel like a very significant journey has begun. I pray I will not be distracted.

Less Than 24 Hours

A beautiful little wildflower bravely standing amidst a field of rocks

Kregg wanted me to go with him when he and the four youngest kids went to the deer lease on Thursday. Normally, that's not someplace I want to be. It's not an area I think of as "pretty," and I really don't want anything to do with the "hunting" part of the deer lease, so I usually stay home when they go hunting. But, when your husband expresses a desire for your presence, it is always best to honor that, even if you would rather not go. 



We left here on Thursday at about 1:00 after lots of preparation during the week. The new deer lease is just outside the town of Sonora, about 150 miles south of here. It always requires a great deal of work to set up a new deer lease. The plan was to take the three new blinds Kregg and the kids finished building and get them set up near the feeders they had already put out. We loaded them on the flat bed trailer and piled all the tools and luggage in the bed of the truck. 

Part of me thought about saying I just wanted to just stay home and meet them in Abilene for ACU's Homecoming that we had already made plans to attend. But the Lord reminded me that I should honor his desire and go even if it was "inconvenient."

It was quite a job to wrangle all the blinds onto the trailer, and then wrangle them off again.

This one had to be wrestled into the bed of the truck because there was no way to back the trailer up this hill with these rocks and cacti. 

Kregg adding windows

It's so nice to have so many helpers.

Filling the feeder

Raccoons have torn things up

It's a good thing Kregg has a strong back because it sure comes in handy sliding this blind up the ladder.

Josh and Ben worked to clear the shooting lanes.

Elizabeth atop the tripod blind

Hard to believe that's a deer blind in that box

As always, He was right! I was blessed by my time there, even if it was less than 24 hours. We arrived around 4 on Thursday and left by 1 on Friday on our way to Abilene. There was much laughter, much teamwork, much fun, and He showed me Wonder in His Creation that I would have missed had I not gone.

Only God can paint masterpieces using lichens.

Tiny little cacti

This cactus is no bigger than Rebekah's finger. 

How does He do it? It is as if He painted each of these limestone rocks using the lichens, in all kinds of shapes and patterns. Incredible! 


Wonder elicits Worship. 


Lord, may I always have eyes to see the wonder in everything You have made. Thank you for showing me Your Masterpieces! Thank you for always being so patient with me. I'm so glad I listened to Your prompting to go. 


This time that I "spent," which I had thought shouldn't be "spent" was such a blessing to my heart. My presence, which I thought didn't really matter, mattered a great deal to my husband and children. I am so thankful He reminded me how simply being together builds so much into each other's hearts. Yes, there are things that needed to be done at home, especially after being gone so much during the past two weeks. But none of that was as important as just "being." Once again, He shows me Truth and I am blessed. Blessed by being with my husband, my children, and by being in His Creation to cultivate Wonder.

And then there was this. 


Rebekah used the string from the deer corn bags along with an emptied bag to fashion a kite. May we always seek to keep our child-like wonder and imagination alive and well.

A Letter On Modesty

A friend posted a link to this letter on Facebook. It is written by a young man who is explaining to young women how important it is for them to understand modesty. It is well worth reading and passing on.


A Letter to the Girls I Know:
Dear Girls, 

There are two kinds of men: Godly men, and worldly men. What kind of man do you want? I’m betting most of you said “a Godly man.” Someday, you want to marry a man who loves God with every fiber of his being because he will be an excellent husband and father. He will honor and be true only to you. Most women want a Godly man or at least think they do. Well, I think I have found a way to tell you exactly what kind of guy you will get. I don’t even have to know you! All I have to do is look at you. The kind of guy you want or will get is advertised by the clothing you wear. I know what men want. Trust me, I am a guy. I know more guys than you do and I know them better. I know what we think, what we talk about, what we want, and what we look for, and it is different for each one of us depending on our relationship with God. I’m sure you already know this, but men were created differently than you. We have different desires and priorities. Our eyes and minds react very differently to some things than yours do. It isn’t disgusting, perverted, or wrong; it is wonderful and good! It is how God made us. It’s how we handle these differences that separate a Godly man from a worldly man. 

Read the rest here. 

A Husband's Leadership

The rainbow set in the sky serves to remind us of His Faithful

I have learned a great deal over the years from some very godly women about the submission of wives to their husbands. And as the Spirit continues to deepen my understanding of this principle, I must confess, I have messed this up a lot during the last 26 years of marriage. Thankfully, my husband and Father are quite patient with me.


Today, I had one of those "light bulb" moments of clarity. As we continue on the path toward becoming more like Him, there are times when, in His great Mercy, He opens our eyes to new depths of Truth. 


It came while I was having a conversation with our oldest daughter. She has now been married two years to a wonderful young man, and they have a 6 week old son. We have talked often about how to walk in submission over those two years, because she really desires to honor her husband and his headship over their family. I have explained how much I didn't understand the blessing of submission for many years and she is learning from my mistakes, so she doesn't have to make them herself.


Confession time: I struggled for a long time with thinking I knew better than Kregg did in some areas of our lives. I desperately wanted him to be the spiritual leader in our marriage, but when it came right down to it, I didn't always trust him to lead. In his spirit, he sensed my rebellion to his authority and it caused him to doubt his own ability to be what he knew God wanted him to be. God designed my husband to be the head and covering over our family, providing leadership and protection in a way that only he could. But, because I didn't fully trust, he didn't fully step into his role.


Because of my disobedience to this principle, by not trusting fully, I prevented myself from receiving what I so desperately wanted. I was my own worst enemy. Isn't that often the case? I am the one preventing myself from receiving the fullness of His Blessings. I can blame others, "If he would just lead, I would follow." But my obedience cannot be contingent on the receipt of what I want. He asks us to trust Him to provide for us, without seeing that Provision ahead of time. He asks me to have Faith: "Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see." Hebrews 11:1


And so, like all other areas of my life it all boils down to this:

Do I trust Him, or don't I?

Do I believe He will do what He has promised, or do I believe I have to "take care of it myself?"

Isn't that what it boiled down to in the Garden in the Beginning of History? The evil one tempted Eve to question whether she could really trust her Father to give her the desires of her heart. She didn't trust His Hand of Provision, even though she had already witnessed the Faithfulness of Her Father over and over. The evil one did not cause Eve to sin. He simply revealed what was already in her heart: she didn't fully trust God.

I don't either. Not always. 

And, in His most loving Mercy, He allows us to try it our way, knowing the choice will be painful to us and to Him. Pain will come our way because we are outside the center of His Will. And pain will be inflicted on His Father Heart, which must once again suffer our rejection. 

Back to my submission to my husband. 

It never has been about submitting to Kregg. It has always and only ever been about my submission to Him. The submission in marriage is simply a reflection of a bigger Truth: my submission and complete trust in my God. In fact, I would go so far as to say that the submission of my spirit to my husband's position of authority and leadership is a pretty straightforward litmus test of the submission of my heart to God. 

(Now, before I go any farther, let me say this: I am not talking about abusive marriages. There comes a time when a wife should not submit. But, even in those situations, there can be in the heart of the wife an honor held for the position of "husband." When the one holding that position of authority uses that power to destroy, the Lord will give Grace to discern what His Will is for the wife. He will reveal if, when and how she should step out from under the authority of that abusive man, but it should never be in a spirit of rebellion.) 

To take things even deeper, today He showed me that the degree to which I submit things to my husband is directly reflected in how strong a leader my husband becomes for our family. Will I allow Him to lead me through Kregg? In everything? Will I submit decisions I would previously have made myself, for fear of not getting my way, to my husband and allow him to have headship in our home? Or will I continue to have areas where I am "in charge?" This doesn't mean I never make decisions. It does mean I am not making those decisions as one in authority, but as one to whom authority has been delegated, willingly holding it with an open palm before my husband and before my Father. What is the posture of my heart?

For years, I made many of the decisions concerning our children because I was the one home with them when the decision needed to be made. That is not necessarily bad, but I was operating as a "free agent" in my mind. The posture of my heart was not one of submission. I would justify it by thinking that Kregg had so much to do, I could just take most of the decisions regarding the kids off his list. After all, I was the one with them. I thought I knew them better than he did. But, do you see the trap I laid for myself? By taking authority that wasn't given to me by God, I prevented Kregg from becoming what God designed him to be: a father who is involved in every aspect of the lives of his children. 

Sometimes husbands would rather hand over part of their authority to us, which plays right into our natural tendency to usurp authority that isn't ours. The weight of responsibility can feel too heavy for them to bear and so it may be tempting for husbands to hand over aspects that are never to be delegated.  But if wives accept those things, we are actually interfering with the growth as a husband and father that God intends. We must allow the Lord to give us discernment so that we see what is properly delegated to us.

And then we must wait. And this is where I failed over and over again. If I swoop in and "take care of things" rather than waiting for my husband to engage, I am usurping his authority. The Lord will move our husbands to act on our behalf and for our children. It may not always be on my time table. We simply have to trust Him and wait. I didn't. Over and over, I just "took care of things."

But when the Lord showed me what I was doing and asked me to lay it all at His Feet, He was actually asking me if I trusted Him. And do you know what? When I finally died to it, He gave me exactly what I'd always wanted: a godly husband who is leading our family through the Wisdom he receives directly from God, and has been for years now.

Today, He showed me a new depth of this Truth:  the degree of my trust will be directly reflected in the strength of Kregg's leadership. If I truly trust God with every aspect of our family, He gives Kregg the Grace (the desire and power) to walk in the fullness of his calling as head and covering for our family. 

Once again, His Perfect Design is revealed in our lives and we are given the choice of whether to receive the blessings afforded us through complete obedience and trust. 

It's not a one time choice. You know that part we all love in His Word about taking up our cross and dying daily? It really does mean daily. I have to choose it each day. In fact, many days I have to choose it several times. But the Glory of His Blessings and Protection over our family far outweighs the pain I may suffer in having my will placed on the altar and slain again. My wonderful husband continues to grow in his role as head and covering over our family. We are so very blessed.

May we each walk in Grace (the power and desire to do His Will) to trust Him fully as we submit to the authorities He has placed over us. Daily. Hourly, if necessary. 

Linking With Encouraging Words Wednesday

26 Years and Counting

Two cities

One apartment

Four houses

One new car

Thirteen used ones (including kids')

Five company vehicles

One pop-up camper

One travel trailer

Thirteen dogs

Innumerable cats

Goats, sheep, barbadoes, chickens, turkeys,

snakes, lizards, birds, fish, turtles, frogs, 

gerbils, rabbits

Seven children

Three high school graduations

One college graduation

One hundred and sixty two birthdays celebrated 

between the two of us and our children

One wedding

One son-in-law

One grandson due today

Dozens and dozens of road trips

Who knows how many trips to the ER?

Thousands of memories

Tens of thousands of prayers

Millions of blessings

26 wonderful years of being married to my very best friend

Happy Anniversary, Kregg!

Marriage Reminders

Well, Tim stepped on lots of toes yesterday in his sermon on the relationship between husbands and wives. And mine needed to be stepped on. I need to be reminded to work on my relationship with Kregg. I need to be reminded for the 4,294,865th time (this month) that I cannot ever take him for granted. That is hard for me to remember because Kregg is so good and so stable and so dependable and so loyal. And so it is easy for me to let all the "crises" that we deal with as parents and shepherding couples cause me to forget my first job title in our home: Kregg's helpmeet. Tim told a joke, he always does, that went like this:


Man who has been married for years: "When we first got married, when I got home my wife would bring me my slippers and my dog would bark to welcome me home. Now my dog brings me my slippers and my wife barks." 


Sad commentary.


It wasn't enough for Tim to simply list the points he wanted us to consider and reflect on; he had us rate our "performance" in each area. Ouch! The areas he dealt with were these:

1. Communication
2. Compromise
3. Consideration
4. Commitment
5. Christ-centered

The one that really stuck out to me is #3. I realized how little I think about doing special little things for my sweet husband each day. I tend to be so busy with other things that I miss countless opportunities to simply show him how much he is appreciated. And, if I'm not careful, that lack of expressed gratitude can shift to becoming irritable about silly, inconsequential things. 

It was funny because the rest of the day, my sweet husband went out of his way to be considerate to me. (I'm thinking #3 got him, too :) In fact, it got to be a joke before long because he was taking it to such an extreme. So we laughed a lot at the silliness and often that is the best way to handle conviction and adjustment in our spirits as the Lord faithfully shows us areas in which He wants fuller obedience. 

Tim also made an excellent point for #5. He said when we are each filled with Christ, the Christ in me will be at peace with Christ in my husband. Christ in us will not fight and argue with Himself in our spouse. It's only when I get in the way--when I am full of self that there is anything to argue with. 


There go my poor toes, again. :)

Seasons of Life

Years ago, Kregg and I listened to a seminar by Gregg Harris on homeschooling. One of the sessions was on the seasons of our lives and it left an indelible mark on us. My sweet husband preached this morning because our pastor is out of town. We are in the middle of a series of lessons on healthy families, so Kregg decided to talk about the lessons we learned from that seminar.

Harris outlined our lives this way:
1. The Season of Preparation
2. The Season of Production
3. The Season of Provision
4. The Season of Protection

The Season of Preparation could also be called the season of the child. During this season, the primary responsibility is to study, learn, and prepare. This season encompasses our growing up years, the years spent during our childhood and on into becoming young adults. It is a time that should be focused on learning how to learn and walking in the responsibilities given to us in our families. This is the time when we learn about the blessings of being under authority. Those lessons, learned at the feet of our parents, are critical to having a right relationship to authority in each of the other seasons. If we pay attention and focus well on learning the lessons tied into this season, it facilitates the success of later seasons. 

The Season of Production focuses on the building of our households and careers. During this season, for most people, marriage and children, and establishing a way to support them is the focus. This is an intense time and requires focused attention, if it is to be done well. Everything we allow in this season needs to be focused on building in these areas. This is a critical time for families. It is a time when it can be very easy to become distracted or out of balance in our responsibilities. 

Too often, parents in this season allow too many things to make it onto the family calendar. We must exercise much wisdom in discerning those activities that actually bear fruit in our families and in the character of our children, versus those activities that are simply done because everyone else does them. Our children do not need twenty-seven extra curricular activities to make them "well-rounded." We shouldn't be helping with every single ministry opportunity at church. What our children need during these formative years is lots and lots of hours with their parents and their family. This is the time where parents are able to sow the most seeds into those young hearts. Do not miss it by being too busy.

The Season of Provision, also called the season of the elder, is the time in our lives when our homes and jobs are well established and flourishing. And if we have come through the previous two seasons faithfully, this is the time the Lord will broaden our ministry to those outside our immediate family. Notice that it is the Lord Who is to broaden our ministry. It is not our job! During this season, the experience and wisdom earned and learned in the previous two seasons give us the credibility and empathy to be able to mentor the next generation coming behind us as parents. This is the season to help build into the lives of others and to strongly support the Body in leadership roles.

The Season of Protection is also called the season of the "city father." This is the time of life when most people "retire" for leisurely pursuits. But, this is actually the time when we can bear the most fruit of all. Having grown in wisdom and experience through the previous three seasons, the influence wielded as a "city father" is immense. This role is absolutely critical to the life of the Body. Without godly people in this position in the Body, the whole church suffers. 

Look at the vision that is cast for us through the life of Job and his faithful fulfillment of this role:

Job 29:7-17

⁷ “When I went to the gate of the city
   and took my seat in the public square,
⁸ the young men saw me and stepped aside
   and the old men rose to their feet;
⁹ the chief men refrained from speaking
   and covered their mouths with their hands;
¹⁰ the voices of the nobles were hushed,
   and their tongues stuck to the roof of their mouths.
¹¹ Whoever heard me spoke well of me,
   and those who saw me commended me,
¹² because I rescued the poor who cried for help,
   and the fatherless who had none to assist them.
¹³ The one who was dying blessed me;
   I made the widow’s heart sing.
¹⁴ I put on righteousness as my clothing;
   justice was my robe and my turban.
¹⁵ I was eyes to the blind
   and feet to the lame.
¹⁶ I was a father to the needy;
   I took up the case of the stranger.
¹⁷ I broke the fangs of the wicked
   and snatched the victims from their teeth. 

Job had arrived at this season of his life through great trials. Because he trusted the Lord through each of the previous seasons, he was now held in great honor. His scope of influence was huge.  Job was the one who protected the helpless. He was the one who was looked to to uphold justice. A dying man would bless him because that man knew his widow and children would be taken care of by Job.

This is what each of us is to aspire to. Unfortunately, those who are truly able to walk out this season of the "city father" are rare. Too many are derailed in one of the earlier seasons and never again regain the vision for where the Lord wants to take them.

We each need to ask the Lord to help us understand our season. If we have missed any of the prerequisite lessons for where we are in life, He will "tutor" us so that we can catch up. But we have to recognize what needs to happen. We have to ask Him for wisdom. He is so Faithful. But we have to pay attention. I am convinced that one of the most effective tools used by the evil one to render His People ineffective is to tempt us to get our seasons of life out of balance. It can sound very holy to step into a position of leadership and great responsibilities in the Body when we are still in the season of Production. This takes the parents out of the home at the most crucial time for their children.

Billy Sunday was a famous traveling preacher. He became a Christian during a road trip when he was playing ball for the White Sox in the early 1900s. When he left baseball, he became the "Billy Graham" of his time. Over the course of his 39 years in ministry, he preached to over 100 million people and more than 1 million of them became Christians. 

But his children were casualties of his lack of understanding of the seasons of our lives. While his children were young, he and his wife would take months long preaching trips, leaving their children in the care of others. During those crucial years when they needed their parents so desperately, those parents were away from the home for ministry. All but one of their children ended up destroying their lives through their wrong choices. When word got out that his own children were in this condition, Billy's ministry imploded. He spent the last few years preaching in small country venues. His reputation was destroyed because he had not first provided for the needs of his own family.

I Timothy 5:8 says this: 

Anyone who does not provide for their relatives, and especially for their own household, has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever. 

If only Billy Sunday had postponed the expansion of his ministry until his first responsibilities were fulfilled, who knows how many more he would have been able to influence. Near the end of his life, even after all the successes, he asked his wife where he had gone wrong. He had learned, bitterly, that the true measure of the success of a man is the contentment of his wife and the character of his children.

Psalm 90:12

Teach us to number our days aright that we may gain a heart of wisdom. 

5 Minute Friday: The Hard Love

My precious sister and brother-in-law

On 5 Minute Friday posts, you just jump in and write. And that five minutes flies by. Sometimes the words come, some time they don't. The challenge is simply to let your thoughts flow and the words spill onto the page. Today's prompt is The Hard Love. So here it goes . . .

She received the phone call from the ER. Her husband had had a stroke. She boarded a plane and arrived to find him in ICU. He was there for 26 days. She sat at his side. She slept curled up in a chair in the corner of his room. She prayed and asked for wisdom to make all the hard choices. She was alone. But never alone, because her life is grounded in His Life. The doctors wanted to do surgery for the massive bleed inside his skull. She prayed and felt that it would not be best. It was a hard place to be. But afterward, the surgeon told her she had made the right call. 

He has finally left the hospital. 25% is how she describes his physical abilities. But she knows that He can either heal him or continue to give her the Grace to serve him as he is. 

The hardest part is dealing with the emotions. He has always been an "in charge, take charge" kind of man. Now, he has to depend on her for everything. The fear is overwhelming for him. She is worn and weary, but firm in her resolve to continue to serve him in every way possible. 

I love her dearly and I am so very thankful she is my sister. 

Future Job Applicants, Part 2

To those young ladies who long to receive godly husbands from the Lord:


Let me tell you a little about some of the qualities you need to possess to be a blessing to a godly young man seeking a bride.

Have you laid marriage on the altar? Have you come to the place where you are whole in the Lord alone? Are you willing to be single, if that is what He asks of you? Or do you need someone to make you whole, someone to make you complete? If you cannot honestly tell the Lord that you are willing to never be married to anyone but Him, you should not enter a marriage relationship. Only when you come to the place of complete dependence on God to meet every need and desire in your heart are you truly free to receive the fullness of the blessings He has for you in marriage.

Do you honor your parents? Are you submitted to their authority? Do you have peace in that position? If you cannot answer "yes" to these questions, you are not marriage material. The Lord placed you under the authority of your parents to teach you the right relationship to Him and to your future husband. Your ability to honor them does not depend on how they treat you. Your ability to honor them is made possible through the Grace of your Father. He expects you to honor the position they hold, even if they are personally undeserving of honor because of a lack of character. There will be temptations in marriage for you to challenge the authority of your husband. If you have not learned how to properly submit to authority, trusting only in the Lord, then you are not ready for marriage.

Have you cultivated a servant's spirit? Do you walk in true humility: not thinking less of yourself, but thinking of yourself less? Do you delight in being poured out as a drink offering, holding nothing back as you serve wherever He calls you to serve? Or does your service need to be acknowledged? Does your willingness to serve, or your attitude in that service depend on how you are treated? If you do not understand the true position of servanthood in the spirit of a wife, then you best ask the Lord to teach you the lesson well. You will be called to serve selflessly from the moment you say, "I do." The Glory potential in your marriage is largely dependent on your understanding of this principle. If you allow Him to use You however He sees fit, your marriage will bring Him great Glory. If you, however, insist on a specific "job description", you are not ready for marriage.

Are you self-disciplined? Do you know the responsibilities the Lord has already given you? Are you faithfully fulfilling those responsibilities? Or do you allow what you want to do come before what you need to do? Do you take care of your room? Do you take care of a specific list of responsibilities within your family? Or do you need constant reminders and external motivation to complete your tasks? As a wife, you will be responsible for many things. Your home should be a well-ordered refuge of peace, running efficiently so that you may minister to your husband, future children, and those the Lord sends to you to receive the gift of hospitality. Your training ground for these disciplines is the home of your parents. Seek to learn these skills well while you have a "safety net". The transition to being in charge of your own home will be smooth and relatively painless if you "own" these things from the beginning and already understand how to structure your time and energies to effectively and efficiently carry them out. 

Have you allowed the Lord to lead you into an intimate relationship with Him? One that communes with Him on a daily basis? Do you pour your heart out to Him? Do you wait at His Feet? Do you spend time in His Word daily? You cannot stand under the assaults of this life if you are not grafted onto the Vine, drawing your very life, every breath from the Source. This relationship must come first for you to be able to fully, freely enter the covenant of marriage.

Do you understand a covenant? This is foundational for marriage. Our world has no idea what this type of relationship is about. When two people "cut covenant", they actually cease to be individuals. They become one with each other in a way that cannot be undone. Ever. When people end a marriage, they don't simply go their separate ways, a little bruised and battered. Because of the union that takes place in a covenant, the only way to separate the "two who became one" is to literally rip that relationship in two, permanently scarring both halves. Pieces of your heart will go with his heart and pieces of his will stay with yours. The covenant of marriage must be approached with the understanding that there will be no "out." Your commitment from Day One is essential. You must not entertain any thought of walking away. In entertaining that thought you are give

Does Joy overflow your heart? Your husband, strong as he is, will need this from you. He will need to know that, regardless of the circumstances you face together, your Joy is the fixed attitude of your heart as you walk in gratitude and thanksgiving. There will be hard times. He is designed to protect you. He wants to "fix" things so that you are happy. But that is impossible if your happiness is not rooted in Joy. Your husband wants a cheerful, fun companion. He wants to be free to enjoy your company. He needs to know he can trust you with his heart. But if you are not grounded in Joy, he won't have that freedom to let you see the things that scare him. He will try to shield you from anything he thinks will upset you instead of allowing you in to the deepest reaches of his soul. He needs to know you are brave, to face whatever comes with him. That helps him be brave. It sets him free to go out and fight those fierce battles real men fight. Joy in your spirit allows him to fully engage the responsibilities of his life.

I had a very interesting conversation with our oldest son this morning. It was completely unsolicited, he just started talking. He told me the Lord is calling Him deeper. He has already come to the place where his life is not his own and he believes the path the Lord is preparing for him may cost him his life. He has Peace about that. Yes, you might be thinking, "He is young. He doesn't really understand." And you would be right. To a point. He is young. And none of us truly understand what that Path will cost us. But he is serious. And the Lord is tempering him in preparation for complete obedience. 

As a natural part of this calling on his life, he has told the Lord that his future does not belong to him. He has laid marriage on the altar. "I am whole, complete in Him. I need nothing else. I need no one else to complete me. The Lord has already done that." This is what he said this morning. He then went on to tell me that none of the young ladies he has known understand this principle of completion. He was actually wondering if there are any young women out there who do. I told him there are. But that they are rare. 


Those are the wives we ask the Lord to provide for our sons, if the Lord calls them to marriage. We know there are young women who are being raised to be wonderful, godly wives. But they are rare. "A wife of noble character who can find? She is worth far more than rubies."        

Young ladies, as you contemplate the choices before you, understand that dying to self, dying to your future are the only ways to truly receive the desires of your hearts. There are young men worthy of such a sacrifice. There are young men who will rejoice greatly, if you allow the Lord His Way with you. But in the end, the greatest reward for a life lived for Him is Him. 

I did not know these things when Kregg asked me to be his bride. I am so very thankful he is patient and He is patient. I offer these things to you as a gift, a blessing, hoping they will be received in that context. I have not been a good example of all of these things over the years, but He is Faithfully revealing more every day, every moment about how to be the wife He has called me to be. If, through His Grace, you learn to walk this path early in your life, your heart and the heart of your husband will be spared much pain and grief. The Lord will accomplish these things in You if you ask Him. He longs to bless you. And me. 

Future Job Applicants, Part 1

Future Job Applicants

If you think a Mama Grizzly is bad . . .

To any young man who plans someday to seek the hand of a fair maiden to be the queen of your castle, the mother to your children (especially if any of those fair maidens happen to be one of our 3 remaining unmarried daughters):

Don't you even dare think about coming to our door unless you possess the following qualities (and this list will only get longer as we think of more things to add):

1.We want to see you living by Micah 6:8, which says:

         

         He has told you, O man, what is good;

         And what does the LORD require of you

         But to do justice, to love kindness,

         And to walk humbly with your God?

You need to understand what it means and you need to be using it as a framework for your life, day in and day out. Your relationship with the Lord better be the real-deal. If you aren't a man of prayer, become one. Then we might talk.

2.You better be a hard worker. We work hard. We teach our children to work hard. We have NO patience with someone who won't work. 

II Thessalonians 3:10:

For even when we were with you, we gave you this rule: “The one who is unwilling to work shall not eat.” 

We believe in the LITERAL application of this verse. If we are working on a project, jump in and help us. Standing and watching us work will NOT earn ANY Brownie points. I don't really care what you are wearing. It will wash. I want to know you are willing to get your hands dirty, taking care of anything that comes up. Things come up when you are married. Things will come up when you have children. A man takes care of whatever needs to be done. Period. It's part of being a servant leader. And that's the kind of men we pray for to be the husbands for our daughters.

Oh, and one more thing: just because you have a college degree or have attained a certain age does NOT mean someone owes you a job. Earn it! We do NOT want to hear that you are going to be in school the rest of your life. We do NOT want to hear that you don't like your 23rd job this year, and so you're looking for another one. We do NOT want to hear you complaining about a job. I have seen my father and my husband do whatever it took to do a good job for their employer. Even if they weren't treated "fairly" or "nicely." Even if it wasn't a job they "loved." And the Lord blessed them richly because their trust was in Him. And their work was "as unto the Lord." So don't you whine within earshot of me. I may take a broom to you!

3. If you are not in a position to support a wife, don't start looking for one.

Proverbs 24:27:

Put your outdoor work in order
   and get your fields ready;
   after that, build your house. 

Do NOT expect us to trust you to take care of our daughter if you cannot take care of yourself. 

 

4. You better understand what a covenant is, because that is what marriage is about. It's a covenant made before the Lord. It is NOT a partnership. It is NOT a contract. A covenant results in an unbreakable union. Period. Unless you know what that means and what it takes, you will not be a blessing to a young lady. You are not "husband material." Don't even think about it!

5. If you are not a genuine gentleman, fighting hard for purity, don't waste our time. Our lovely daughters have been raised very carefully to be a blessing to their future husbands, if that's what the Lord calls them to. You need to treat them like a princess, with all the honor and chivalry a true gentleman possesses. If we see anything less, you will see the door.

As stated above, requirements will be added whenever we feel like it. We do intend to use "Round-Up", if necessary, to weed out any "unworthy" applicants. And, by the way, these are the minimum standards we expect our sons to possess before any thoughts of becoming "twitter-pated" are entertained.

      

During Phase One, qualified applicants may schedule an initial interview after the submission and checking of references. If they pass Phase One, they will then proceed to Phase Two, the essay portion of the application wherein they will be required to write a research paper on "How To Discern God's Will in Choosing a Godly Wife." Only those scoring a 90 or above will be allowed to proceed to Phase Three: Running the Gauntlet. Phase Three participants will be required to sign a medical release and a DNR directive.

Any questions?

And in case you think we are being unreasonable, we already have one son-in-law who passed our rigorous qualification process with flying colors. He is such an incredible blessing to all of us. So don't tell us we are expecting too much. Young men, you were designed by God to be so much more than most of society expects of you. Rise to the challenge. "Be all that you can be" for the Lord. And the Lord will bless you richly.

Love,
Your Potential Future In-Laws :)

Future Job Applicants, Part 2