Caleb's Parenting Advice, A Link-Up in "Pages in Our Heritage of Faith"

Caleb was our only son for several years. And that was not okay with him. He prayed diligently for brothers, and the Lord imported them from Russia just for him. He takes his role as "big brother" very seriously, even while he's away at college. His influence has had such a huge impact, we will never truly see its scope this side of Heaven. But we are so thankful to the Lord for the passion He has placed in the heart of this tender warrior to help shepherd the hearts of his little brothers. 


As from the beginning of our time with Joshua, the battle rages in him between seeking only the approval of the Father and seeking the approval of "man." Joshua doesn't even understand the degree to which his choices are controlled by his desire to "please man." The scars left in his spirit because he was thrown away by those who were supposed to love him are still influencing him, steering him to seek love and approval from everyone he meets, trying to fill that gaping hole only He can fill. Balanced by the Father's Love, his naturally gregarious nature will be a great tool in His Kingdom. Out of balance, it drives Josh to do things without thinking about whether he should, whether it is wise, whether it would please Him. He tends to think only about whether someone else will be impressed.


We talk to him about the driving force behind his decisions, and about how we must "keep him on a short leash" until we know He fears only God, not man. We pray and pray. We encourage him to choose with wisdom, using God's criteria, not man's. But we are still troubled by many of his choices.


Caleb, too, went through a season when he was seeking the approval of man. During that time, he wasn't really himself. He would tend to be sullen and easily discouraged. His spirit was not at peace, and so nothing else really worked. It was a time that sent us to prayer a great deal, knowing that the Lord would have to touch his heart and help him to seek Truth which is embodied in Christ. The Lord answered our prayers, and the fruit of the Spirit in Caleb's life is so very precious to us. Maybe even more precious than it otherwise would have been had we not seen how the Lord had moved his heart.


Caleb has been reading the biography of Hudson Taylor, which is one of the most important books I've ever read. It's been a while since I last read it, and so, while we were discussing our concerns over Joshua, Caleb was reminding me of a portion describing the early years of Taylor's life. He believed it would help us with Joshua. And I think he is exactly right.


A little background here, in case you are unfamiliar with Hudson Taylor and his pioneering missionary work in China during the 1800's. He was used by the Lord to take the Gospel to areas of China that had never seen a white man, never heard of Christ. His unorthodox methodology became the standard for later efforts as he, instead of maintaining a "Western" worldview, fully embraced the dress, language, mannerisms of his adopted home. The missionary society the Lord began through him is still operating. But there was quite a journey required by his soul before he was fit for service in such a huge way.


During Taylor's early life, he, too, struggled with being too strongly influenced by peers. His parents and sister continued to speak Truth to him, but his earlier conversion had been to religion, not to Christ Jesus, and so there was no "staying power." He says this in his writings about that season of his life:

"Often had I tried to make myself a Christian, and failing of course in such efforts, I began to think that for some reason or other I could not be saved, and that the best I could do was to take my fill of this world, as there was no hope for me beyond the grave. While in this state of mind I came into contact with persons holding sceptical (antiquated spelling) and infidel views, and quickly accepted their teachings, only too thankful for some hope of escape from the doom which if my parents were right and the Bible true awaited the ungodly."

The narrative continues:

"He was all wrong, and his parents could not but see it. The father tried to help him, but found it hard to be patient with the phase through which he was passing. The mother understood him better, and redoubled her tenderness and prayers. But it was his sister Amelia, now thirteen years of age, who was nearest to him and best able to win his confidence."

That little phrase, out of the 500+ page first volume of the biography is what Caleb reminded me of. He believed that was an important key to help Joshua in the phase he is going through right now. 


It's hard to be 14 1/2, 5' 1/2", 103 lbs in a family where the guys are all 6' tall and 200 lbs. We keep reminding him that he is exactly, perfectly designed just how the Lord planned for him to be, but he struggles with trying to compensate for size with a "tough-guy" attitude. He loves the Lord, but he struggles with what that means in his choices. 


I have taken Caleb's advice, and believe it is exactly what I should be focusing on, continuing to pray that Joshua will seek Wisdom and Discernment, but also focusing on lots of hugs and teasing and words of praise and encouragement. He needs to be reminded constantly that we love him and are his biggest fans. Knowing that helps him not need the approval of others so much. So cranking up the cheering squad from the home team is the plan. Especially from Kregg and I. We need to constantly, consistently speak words of affirmation, encouragement and praise to him. We normally try to do that, but during this season for Joshua, we need to do it even more. 


And he loves it! He is so very attentive to serving me in any way he can. Several times a day, he will ask me if there is anything he can do for me, anything I need. That tender heart is exactly the type of ground into which the seeds the Lord is sowing will take root and grow strong. And as Hudson Taylor's dear sister stood with her parents in praying for her brother, Caleb prays and encourages Joshua.


And so for now, we wait. And pray. And pray. And wait. Knowing that He Who is Faithful will hear and answer. Again.

Our Father is Faithfulness in Essence. There is not a single moment during a single day when that Faithfulness falters or fails us. Can't happen! If it could, He would be denying His Nature. He would have changed! And that cannot happen. So if it "feels" like His Faithfulness is wavering in the tiniest degree, the evil one, or our own sin nature, is trying to deceive us. We can build our lives firmly on the foundation of the Faithfulness of our Father. (that's a lot of "f's" :) If you find yourself in a situation that causes you to question whether He is really Faithful to you, right now, ask Him to show you. Ask Him to help you see it. Guaranteed: It is there! Even in the most challenging, trying, frightening circumstances, the Truth of the matter is that we just have to look into His Face. He will be known by us if we seek Him.


How has He proven His Faithfulness to you? Find a post you wrote years ago, or write a brand new one. Your testimony can be something "earth shattering" or it can be the quiet whisper in your spirit speaking to you at just the moment you needed it. It could be the newly unfolding understanding of a passage in the Bible. It could be the Wisdom to speak exactly the right words at exactly the right time. It could be the softening in your child's heart that you have been praying for. Whatever it is, we should give Him Glory. And that's why there is this tiny little link-up every Friday. It's simply a way to encourage us to write it down so that we don't forget. In times of trial and testing, remembering all the times He has shown Himself Faithful to us will help us to believe He will again be Faithful.

The Battle for the Imaginations of Our Children

This was drawn by "youngest" years ago

As those created in the Image of our Creator, creativity is at the core of our beings. Endowed with the incredible tool of imagination, man has been "creating" from the beginning. Intended for His Glory, our ability to imagine and create should be used to accomplish His Purposes through us. Is it any wonder the evil one has our imaginations in his wicked cross-hairs? Our enemy would love to hijack, for his own purposes, a Gift that is intended to be used in Holiness. 


So how do we thwart his efforts?


How do we protect the imaginations of our children?


Are we not the "guardians at the gate?"


No doubt, you remember your amazement when your young child came up with some incredibly fanciful idea or story or drawing. Watching their young minds at work is truly a humbling experience, because we recognize the potential contained in the gift of imagination. 


Is it any wonder there are so many attempts to capture the imaginations of our children? Attempts that do not have holiness at their core? Think of all the books and cartoons and movies and video games and regular games and apps for phones, and the list goes on forever, that try to capture the imagination of your children. Or even of yourself? 


Have you ever wondered why?


Have you ever wondered why millions and millions of dollars are spent creating things to sweep us up and away on flights of fancy? Have you ever considered just how many hours people in the United States spend each week allowing someone else to direct the course of their thoughts, strictly for "entertainment purposes?"


I'm going to spout off here, from my personal view of the world as I see it in black-and-white: I don't really believe anything is neutral. Either something is worth our time, or it isn't. Since time is our most valuable resource, the choice of how to spend it is of importance. Sure, there is value in relaxing. But we can't use the need to relax as an excuse to allow anything into our minds that isn't going to bless us in our walk with the Lord. 


We are choosing.


Whether we recognize it or not, we are choosing what captures our imaginations. Many people will argue that they aren't affected by watching something on television that they would never "live out themselves." But we must not be deceived. What we allow into our minds does affect our minds. 


As parents, what does this say about our responsibility to train our children in the use of their imaginations?


Their imaginations are always active. 


Are we offering them wholesome, encouraging, uplifting fuel for the insatiable appetites of their minds?


Their imaginations will be captured by something?


Are we being intentional about what that something is?


Do you know what your children are reading? Listening to? Spending time on? 


What is the value system of those who have created whatever it is that your child is fascinated by?


Our value system is reflected in what we create. 


If our children are reading, watching, absorbing things created by people who do not seek to glorify the Lord, is that truly what's best for our children? Especially when they are young, and their value system is still in the process of being formed? Especially when they do not yet have the spiritual discernment to recognize the schemes of the enemy that may be disguised in a book or game?


As parents, the Holy Spirit offers us the help we need to discern what is best for our children. All we have to do is ask and then be willing to allow Him to reveal Truth to us. 


There is SO much great stuff out there to capture the imaginations of your children. Of course, books are some of our favorite resources. And with the growth of homeschooling, many materials are becoming available again that have been out of print for decades. There is a wealth of historical fiction from a Christian worldview that is filled with adventure and truth and will capture the imaginations of your children. Biographies of great men and women are treasures that will bless the whole family. There is an incredible power in watching how people walk out their faith. 


Even if we haven't realized how easily worthless or even ungodly influences can creep into our home, the Lord will help us weed out and replace things with better choices. And, our children will acquire a "taste" for truly worthwhile things. That doesn't mean that our vigilance will not always be required, but it does mean that it will get easier as our "tastes" improve.


Our imaginations are intended to bring Him Glory. May we feed them properly.

Approaching the Word

I have been convicted, of late, that I should approach the Word with more humility. Okay, convicted is too strong a word. "Gently nudged" would be a better description. It occurred to me that I may have allowed an attitude to creep in that sort of "takes it for granted."


Not good. 


If I really believe that His Word is living and active, my heart should have an attitude that approaches it with a humble expectation of encountering Him through the words on those pages. Every time I pick it up, I should expect to meet Him there, in those words, and for that encounter to change me.


The kids and I discussed this today. In our homeschool, we read several chapters each day in our Bibles, and the very repetition can be conducive to the forming of an attitude of familiarity and complacency. So the posture of our hearts needs to be intentionally addressed to avoid a habit forming that allows us to read the Bible like it is no different than the words written by man. 


Even though they may not fully comprehend what to expect, they should learn to have an expectation when they engage the Word. We encourage them to write in their Bibles, to mark them up, to take notes, so that the lessons being taught them by the Holy Spirit can be built upon as the years pass.


This is the first year, for the ones still in our homeschool, that they are reading through the entire Bible in a year, in addition to our other Bible work. The hope is that it will become a lifelong habit that will take hold of their hearts. Not to check it off a list, but to help them continually devote time to the Word. Even if some of them don't understand much of what they are reading at this point, the Living Word is sowing seeds in their young hearts.

The Ache of a Heart Longing for Home

The more deeply I fall in love with Jesus, the more I long to forever dwell in His Presence. In worship, the ache is often physical. (This one's for YOU, Kirsten! :)  It's not that I'm unhappy here. I'm so very blessed and our life is incredibly rich and fascinating. 


But this is not Home.


And that Truth is becoming more and more real in my soul and my spirit. 


There are so many songs of praise that speak to this "other worldliness" that He created into the fiber of our beings, but one that always "gets me" is this one:

 
There is nothing like standing, surrounded by my family on a Sunday morning, singing this song together. I think I want it sung when He calls me Home.


Another one that makes me weep every single time I hear it is this one:



"If I find in myself desires which nothing in this world can satisfy, the only logical explanation is that I was made for another world."          C. S. Lewis

He wants us to understand the Truth of our situation. He wants us to know that there is more, that we were created for more. There is such strength to be found in recognizing our Citizenship. It frees us from things that could otherwise distract or dilute our mission and message while we walk this Earth. It causes us to discern circumstances correctly. It teaches us "to number out days aright so that we may gain a heart of Wisdom."


And, even though the ache is fierce, it is the most Loving way for Him to allow me to feel. Walking through these years with a heart that is so very tender to His Touch is the desire of my heart. I don't want there to be any hard spots in my spirit, my soul. I want to allow Him to turn my heart of stone into a heart of flesh that quickens to His smallest Whisper. 


It's the opposite of the message that so much of our culture thinks of as truth: that we should be independent, pull ourselves up by our own bootstraps, be dependent on nothing and no one. It is thought that freedom is the absence of need.


True Freedom is being completely and totally dependent, knowing that every need is met only in Him.


As I learn more about the true nature of my need, I give Him thanks. 

You're up! Join the link up and testify to His Faithfulness in your life. We can't wait to read what He has done for you! I love it when you give Him Glory for His Faithful Provision, Protection, Wisdom. Whatever it is, as long as it brings Him Glory for His Faithfulness to you or your family, it's "fair game" for this link up. 

All Those Precious Souls

Photo Credit

Psalm 11

In the LORD I take refuge.    

How then can you say to me:    

“Flee like a bird to your mountain. 

For look, the wicked bend their bows;

they set their arrows against the strings 

to shoot from the shadows

at the upright in heart. 

When the foundations are being destroyed,

what can the righteous do?”

The LORD is in his holy temple;

the LORD is on his heavenly throne. 

He observes everyone on earth;

his eyes examine them. 

The LORD examines the righteous,

but the wicked, those who love violence,

he hates with a passion. 

On the wicked he will rain

fiery coals and burning sulfur;

a scorching wind will be their lot.

For the LORD is righteous,

he loves justice;

the upright will see his face.

As we remember what happened that day, we all think about the ones whose lives were lost, and our hearts ache.

All those precious souls who thought that day was like the one before
All those precious souls who unknowingly said their last goodbye that 
     morning
All those precious souls confronted with the face of evil
All those precious souls had no idea their time had reached its fullness
All those precious souls whose eternal destiny was determined that day
All those precious souls, each one lovingly created by their Father

All those precious souls for whom Christ died

All those precious souls, each known and loved by Him

All those precious souls, did they know and love Him?
All those precious souls we grieve again today

The tragic end of all those lives reminds us that only in Him are we safe.

Only in Him. May He comfort all those whose hearts were broken that day. May they turn to Him for healing and peace. 


May He teach us to number our days aright, that we may gain  hearts of wisdom. May we hold this precious resource of Time, given to us by Him to be spent in His service, with humility and reverence.