Mom Years

While deeply pondering the important issues of life, I was meditating on the principle of "dog years". Why is a dog year seven years?  I would have to theorize that it is because dogs (at least ours) fit in enough "living" each year to equal seven human years. They are aging faster than normal creatures.

So . . . .

The question begs to be asked, "Shouldn't there be 'Mom Years'?" Compared to regular human beings, mothers squeeze more into each increment of time than any other living thing. 

In my humble opinion, to accurately come up with a reasonable formula for mothers, certain unique but critical variables must be considered. Here are the ones that instantly popped into my head:

a. number of children
b. ages of children
c. the intensity level of each child's personality
d. miles driven each week as chauffeur
e. temperament of husband
f.  homeschooler
g. misc. other responsibilities


I'm sure there are others, but this should allow us to come up with a "ballpark" figure.


Now for the equation:


1. Take the mother's age,

2. Add the number of children,

3. Add the age factor for each child (for ages 3 and under: +2 each; 
                                                        for ages 4-12: +2 each; 
                                                        for ages 13-17: +4 each; 
                                                        for ages 18 and up: -1 each),

4. For the intensity, rank each child's personality on a scale of 0 to 3, with a 3 
    representing  the intensity of a laser. Take the ranking for each child and add 
    that to the total of the first 3 factors above.

5. Take the number of miles driven as chauffeur each week , divide it by 10, then add it      to the total of #1-4 above. 


6.  For the temperament of your husband: if he is calm and even keeled then subtract 10; 
     if he is laser intense add 5 to your total so far. Anything in between, add 0.


7.  If you homeschool your children, add 20


8.  Miscellaneous other variables, add 20 just for good measure.


The total of all 8 above would equal your age in Mom Years.


Now for my numbers:

1. I'm 48

2. I have 7 children


3. I have 3 children in the 4-12 range so that's +6
    I have 1 in the 13-17 range, so that's +4
    I have 3 in the 18 and over range, so that's -3


4. I have 3 lasers! So I add 9.
    I have 4 easy ones, so I add 0.


5. I don't drive much, so 150 miles divided by 10 equals +15


6. My husband is very even keeled, so I subtract 10.


7. We homeschool, so I add 20.


8. Lots of miscellany, add 20.


My grand total=116



No wonder I'm so tired!

But I wouldn't be ANYWHERE else. I love my antbed!!