A Lesson from James

Image courtesy of Photobucket

This morning's lesson at church was on the book of James. This is the book that Luther called an Epistle of Straw. Seems to me there's a lot of "meat" thrown in there, too. The balance between Grace and a Faith that produces works has been argued for centuries and when that balance is shifted too far either way, it causes problems. 


Our pastor made several comments this morning that struck me because of having just finished the book, Radical. It is always encouraging to have a message confirmed for me from more than one source. And these points echoed the book exactly. 


We were involved for a few years with some Christian brothers and sisters who had escaped from China after being imprisoned and tortured. Our pastor made this comment today, "If I were arrested for being a Christian, would there be enough evidence to convict me?" 


The he said this, "Satan believes in Jesus, but that doesn't make him a Christian." He believes fully but his belief will not save him. He and all his demons will still be cast into the Lake of Fire. In his book, Radical, David Platt describes a life that is spent for His Glory. Nothing else. He argues that God saved us because He loves us and so that we will spread His Glory. If we make God's Plan simply about us, we have stripped it of its true power. He loved us and made a way for us to be reconciled to Him so that we may spend our lives sharing Him. 


The next thing he said this morning was this: "Our faith is not determined by what we do, but it ought to be demonstrated by what we do." Our faith should cause us to act. Not to earn our salvation, but to spread salvation. Can we truly say we believe if we aren't radically changed. If my life is not completely prioritized around His agenda, what does that say? Or do I think I can believe just enough to "get me to Heaven", but not enough to really interfere with my life here on earth? 


Then he said, "Many people are going to miss heaven by 18 inches: the distance from their head to their heart." If we aren't completely changed by the Gospel, all we have is head knowledge. And that will not glorify Him and it will NOT change the world. So as today is filled with every kind of "heart" imaginable, I just want the kind that is radically, completely changed for His glory. 

I'm linking up to a brand new community called Hear It, Use It over at Michelle's place. 

                                               

Radical by David Platt

WOW! This was quite a read. 

Have you ever wondered, as you walk out your faith in Christ, if there is more? Is what I know of Christianity really what it is supposed to look like? Is this All-Consuming-Fire really consuming me? Or have I missed something? Have I been deceived by a counterfeit Christianity that is merely a shadow of Reality?


After reading this book, I can answer those questions.

There is MORE!


This book is not for anyone who is content with the price they are paying to follow Him. I have been that person. It has cost me very little to live out my faith to this point. I had a hint of what was in store for me if I read this book, simply by perusing the recommendations inside the front cover. One of them in particular was a little alarming:

"Sometimes people will commend a book by saying, 'You won't want to put it down.' I can't say that about this book. You'll want to put it down, many times."   Russell D. Moore, dean, Southern Baptist Theological Seminary

Platt makes the argument that the American Dream has insidiously watered down Christianity. A hybrid of the "Dream" and Christianity has changed our understanding of the life we are called to by our Lord to one defined by the affluent/comfortable/self-sufficient American and a Christianity that can easily fit into our schedules/goals/plans while we live out that Dream. 

". . . we are starting to redefine Christianity. We are giving in to the dangerous temptation to take the Jesus of the Bible and twist him into a version of Jesus we are more comfortable with."

     "A nice, middle-class, American Jesus. A Jesus who doesn't mind materialism and who would never call us to give away everything we have. A Jesus who would not expect us to forsake everything we have. A Jesus who would not expect us to forsake our closest relationships so that he receives all our affection.  A Jesus who is fine with nominal devotion that does not infringe on our comforts, because, after all, he loves us just the way we are. A Jesus who wants us to be balanced, who wants us to avoid dangerous extremes, and who, for that matter, wants us to avoid danger altogether. A Jesus who brings us comfort and prosperity as we live out our Christian spin on the American dream."

"But do you and I realize what we are doing at this point? We are molding Jesus into our image. He is beginning to look a lot like us because, after all, that is whom we are most comfortable with. And the danger now is that when we gather in our church buildings to sing and lift up our hands in worship, we may not actually be worshiping the Jesus of the Bible. Instead we may be worshiping ourselves."

That's just the first chapter!

Platt goes on to break down and explain the lies we have believed. Thankfully, he doesn't just leave us there. He walks the reader through the decisions, the choices we need to make to awaken from our stupor and step into the life we were called to live, the life we all truly hungry for without knowing it. The real life offered to us by our Savior is filled completely with Him and completely emptied of ourselves. 

There is more! So much more!! May our hunger for Him consume everything in our lives that would prevent our absolute surrender to His Plan and His Will.  

I just finished reading it yesterday and it's going to take me awhile to "chew on it." There is a One Year Challenge presented at the end of the book. In it, Platt challenges us to make five commitments:
1. Pray for the entire world 
2. Read through the entire Word
3. Sacrifice your money for a specific purpose
4. Spend your time in another context
5. Commit your life to a multiplying community


For each of these five points, an explanation is provided and a plan outlined. How will we respond? How will this change me? How will it change our family? The worst thing that could happen is for nothing to happen, for my life to look the same after the book as it did before it.

I believe this book will bless anyone who wants to grow in their relationship with the Lord. It gets 5 out of 5 stars in my book!

This is my #2 out of 52. And it's a doozy! 

Simply Giddy!

They look giddy, don't they?

Chapter #928 in our laundry saga:
THE REPAIRMAN IS COMING TOMORROW MORNING!!! I can barely contain myself. 

This is how it happened. I decided to try one more time this morning to call the warranty center number for the store we bought the dryer from. They were supposed to be checking with a supervisor to see if they could get special permission to have someone come in less than two weeks!!! 

I don't feel like I'm being unreasonable. Am I being unreasonable?

Hope springs eternal, so I called them back. Just to see if the supervisor has gotten around to thinking about it yet. He has had since Sunday, after all. I always try to keep calls like this light-hearted, cracking lots of corny joke and making sure the person who answers the phone knows I know it's not their fault. So when the sweet young lady answered my call today, she gave me the standard answer of, "I show that it is being considered, but the decision has not yet been made." That's what they are told to say. 

She was very friendly and was laughing at all my jokes. So I decided to push a little harder.  I told her I would simply like to be someone's priority. She paused a moment. And then she said, "May I put you on hold while I check on something?" I enthusiastically agreed to anything that would keep my hopes alive a little longer. 


She came back on the line a few minutes later and said, "I am going to transfer you to a supervisor. Is that okay?"


Is that okay?? Do bears poop in the forest? (Excuse me, that's what my husband always says when he is asked a rhetorical question.)


I was on hold waiting for the supervisor for about 15 minutes. I must admit that while I was waiting, I actually wondered if he was punishing me because I had "pushed". It was a little disappointing, then, when the same wonderful young lady came back on instead of the supervisor. My heart stopped. But then she said, "He is working on it and will call you back in 5 minutes." I told her she was absolutely wonderful and she had made my day. I may have to send her some cookies or something.


Five minutes passed. Then ten. Fifteen. I was trying to remain optimistic. 


After about an hour, the phone rang. It wasn't the warranty center. It was the appliance repair service calling to tell me they would be sending someone IN THE MORNING BETWEEN 9 AND 12! That's only a few hours away. I told the lady from the appliance repair place that I was coming to the office to give her a hug. She was so cute. She said, "Well, if you want to . . ."


I couldn't stand it.


I knew there was no way I would get the same lady, but I called the warranty center and when someone answered I told him, "I just had to call and tell you thank you so much!!! The repairman is coming!!!" The poor guy was so confused. There was no scripted response, apparently, for someone calling to say "thank you." I explained that I just had to tell someone there that I appreciated it. He's probably still scratching his head.

Simply Being

(Having children who are completely desensitized to the fact that you are again carrying a camera around allows you to snap shots like this, which would otherwise be impossible.)

I had mentioned here that I believe one of the things the Lord wants me to focus on something this year is Being. Much of our lives, if we are not consciously choosing otherwise, can be swept along year after year in Doing. As moms, this is so easy. We need to do the laundry, do the dishes, do the floors and windows, do my Bible study, do the lesson plans for our school, etc., etc., etc. As necessary as those things are, am I simply going through the motions so that I can check another item off my To Do list?

Because I am easily distracted and my best intentions derailed, the Lord faithfully provides opportunities to refocus, rededicate, recommit.

Since Christmas, I can honestly say that we have been in the midst of one of the strangest "seasons" yet. What with the continuing laundry saga, my bizarre two weeks of looking at life from a horizontal position, and now with the lingering "fall-out" of having four children sick simultaneously (a new record here), we seem to be in a holding pattern. 

For six weeks?! 

The four kids are on the mend, but yesterday a new, previously healthy one succumbed. I have been sleeping in our family room for over a week now with two of the sickest ones so that I can fire up the nebulizer each time another coughing fit commences. Kregg is out of town, and I am thankful his exposure is limited. Of course, school is on hold. They can't really figure out a math problem when their head is throbbing to the point that their eyes cross (not really). 

And so, this morning, I was thinking (as I sit here looking into the lovely face of my youngest who has taken to stuffing the end of a kleenex up her right nostril and simply leaving it there for large blocks of time to serve as a plug). 


As our wonderful schedule has been off and on all of 2011, it dawned on me that I am learning more about Being. The fact that our normally efficient routine has come to a screeching halt has put an exclamation point on simply Being! Being still and knowing. He is in control. He is sufficient. We have what we need. 

And if I truly believe that what He allows us to walk through is the most loving way He can accomplish His will in me, then this season of "enforced stillness" is an opportunity for me to see His Plan and Work more clearly. And I almost missed it. A few days ago, I was just feeling kinda weepy, kinda testy, and really weary. But that was when I was drumming my fingers (symbolically speaking), impatiently waiting for everyone to get well so we could "get back to normal." 

Just how thick is my head? (Don't answer that!)


Why am I still so slow to see it?

All of these circumstances that are completely outside my control are simply a way the Lord uses to deepen my understanding of what He can accomplish in us without my "carefully laid plans" for how our weeks should look. I can simply accept this season in trust, knowing that He will faithfully accomplish what He desires. If our homeschooling doesn't start back up for another couple of days that doesn't mean this time is wasted. It's only wasted if I fail to seek His Face and if I don't allow Him to "drive."

Kregg just texted me from wherever he is on his business trip asking me "what's going on" here this morning. I told him "not much". And it is a fairly new feeling for me to be able to say that without a twinge of guilt because we're not Doing, we're just Being.

II Peter 1:3 says this:
His divine power has given us everything we need for a godly life through our knowledge of him who called us by his own glory and goodness.


And so, as I sit here listening to the cacophony of children coughing in chorus, I will focus on learning this lesson of Being well. Hopefully, that way I won't have to repeat it. At least not this variation. :) But even if it takes me several rounds, I will thank Him because He knows best. And as far as illness goes, this really is not a big deal.

Lego Creations

How's this for perfect timing? After mentioning lots of our favorite resources to help our children cultivate creativity, Melissa at The Joys of Home Educating reminded me she was hosting a Lego Mania Link-Up today. Well, two of our four homeschooled kiddos are still horizontal with upper respiratory gunk and fever. But the other two were more than happy to show off their creations. So from Josh and Ben to you, here they are.

Now that's a lot more fun than sitting around glued to a video game or dvd, isn't it? :)

The Tempering of a Heart

This is one of Caleb's senior pictures that our oldest, Hannah, took of him.

I have wrestled tonight with whether or not to post this. It could easily come across as boastful. And so I must preface it with this: what is happening in the hearts of our children is only because of our Faithful Abba. As parents, we cannot bring forth these fruits in our kids. It is ALL Him! And He wants to do it for all of us, as we entrust these precious souls to Him. I cannot even begin to comprehend what He has done and is doing for us. But we must testify to His power and glory. So with that said, here goes . . .
 
Caleb was later than normal getting home tonight. He called to tell me that he would be here soon and then he said, "I'll explain what happened when I get there." Well, of course I was concerned at that point. I asked him if he was okay and he assured me he was. So I told him to wait until he was home to tell me whatever it was that had happened. In my heart, I was thinking, "I want him safe, here in front of me, so I really know everything is alright."

I waited. And waited. He didn't come home, and he didn't come home, and I started growing more concerned! So I called him. "I'm on our street. I'll be there in a minute."

When he came in, I was more than ready for the suspense to be over. 

He began his explanation by giving a summary of his day. It started this morning at 4 a.m. when he drove over to a neighboring town to help at a church that feeds homeless folks. Then he had his college classes and work. He got off at 5 and was heading to a meeting for the House of Prayer. 

Having a few minutes to spare, he stopped at a store. When he went back out to his Jeep, an elderly man had fallen in the parking lot between two vehicles. He ran over to him and helped him up, then helped him into the store to find the man's wife. After coming back out, there was a homeless man in the parking lot. Of course Caleb went over to talk to him. We have told the kids they are not allowed to give rides or cash to strangers and so he told the man, and a second homeless man that suddenly showed up, that if they would walk over to the Taco Bueno he would buy them dinner. 


It is supposed to be in the single digits tonight and Caleb was concerned about where they would sleep. So he had them walk to a little motel that was nearby and he drove to meet them there. He explained to the manager what he was going to do, and then he paid for them to stay there tonight and tomorrow night. The manager even offered them an extra night for free if they behaved themselves for the next couple of days. 

Caleb went back in to check on them before he left, and they had somehow come up with some alcohol. Of course, that didn't go over well. One of the men told Caleb he was using it because of the large gash on his forehead that was all stitched up. Caleb went back up and told the manager what was going on and offered to go take it away from them. Thankfully, the manager said that wouldn't be necessary. (I owe that manager a hug.) 


Caleb is not shy about his faith and he wanted to know what plans these men have for changing their lives. They mentioned the fact that they are planning to go over to a neighboring town to a church where they can get some long term help. Guess which church and which ministry? As the Lord would have it, it is the same church and ministry Caleb spends every Tuesday morning helping with. He has offered to, with our blessing, give them a ride over there in a few days.


But his day, wasn't finished yet. On his way home, he came upon a vehicle that had had a blow-out so he stopped to help them. Then he passed another vehicle that had pulled off the side of the road, so he stopped to check on them. About that time, a police officer also stopped, so Caleb left the people in the second vehicle in good hands. That was why he was so much later coming home.


In the morning, he and a friend are planning to take some food and two of Caleb's jackets to the motel. 

After he explained all of this to me (Kregg's out of town), I told him that I had a couple of questions and concerns. I suggested that, next time (because I know there will be a next time), he should call us and just explain the situation before proceeding. 

It becomes hard at this point, where the lines between childhood and adulthood become blurred, to make sure we provide proper spiritual covering while still allowing them to grow into ministry. As a mom, it's hard to think about my 18 year old son being in a motel room with two homeless men who are drinking. But, I also know that the Lord has given Caleb a heart of service. And he believes the Lord is leading him into the mission field and ministry. So I must trust the Lord to provide wisdom and protection for him. And I must continue to pray. 


Caleb's reaction to his day was interesting. He used the word surreal to describe it. He actually seemed heavy-hearted. At first, it puzzled me. But now I think I know why. Caleb is truly beginning to realize the cost of being His hands and feet to serve "the least of these." That's a good thing. Too often, we don't really count the cost when we jump into something and so we aren't able to sustain the effort. I believe the Lord is tempering Caleb's heart, preparing it for the "long-haul". I know it will be hard to "watch" at times as he is stretched and poured out. As parents, we must continue to pray.


As parents we must all continue to pray for each of our children. The Lord intends that they serve and glorify Him all the days of their lives. And we need the wisdom to prepare them for lives spent in His service. 


My mother-heart was filled to overflowing when my sweet son came back in to tell me one more thing. The men at the hotel? They want to meet us, his parents. When our children allow themselves to be used by the Lord, it leaves a mark on those they serve. 

Boredom and a Toilet Brush

The day the Wedgits arrived

This should have been included in Permission to Parent because it's a "biggie!" But, I didn't think of it until now. So consider this an addendum. 

Stop for a moment and consider how much time, effort, and money are spent trying to sell you a next greatest form of entertainment for your children (or yourself--but that topic is for another day). As Christians, anytime we see a huge effort from "the world" to sell us something, we should immediately ask ourselves if it is a move by the evil one to distract us from Truth. Why this constant bombardment? Movies, video games, phones that will bake a cake, social networking, and on and on and on. Why? Why are we expected to believe that we need to be entertained? That we have a right to be entertained?


Doesn't it just smell like a counterfeit intended to deceive us?


When we contemplate the attributes of God, one that defines so much of what we experience on this earth is His Creative Nature. Everywhere we look, we see Him revealing Himself and His Nature through the Creation. What does He want us to learn as we gaze on His creativity? As beings made in His image, what does that nature mean to us? Aren't we supposed to be creative, like our Father?  When you see someone using their God-given talents and abilities to create, and through their creativity our Father receives glory, doesn't it cause you to worship?


Therein lies the rub. The evil one desperately wants to thwart anything in us that looks like Him! Because when we reflect Him, that reflection is filled with Life. And that is our most compelling "argument" to defeat the lies and imitations the evil one uses to bind up and destroy. 


So, what does all that have to do with entertainment and our role of parenting?


Our children are naturally creative. As parents, we need to encourage that creativity. But our children don't always want to put in the effort needed to cultivate their creative talents and giftings. 

My encouragement to you is this: DO NOT ENTERTAIN THEM!

(Disclaimer: Please understand, I am NOT saying that you are evil if you let your kids watch an occasional video. But if that is always Plan A, it may be time to rethink some things.)


While your children are small, don't always pop in a dvd when you want them to leave you alone for a few minutes. Don't always give them video games. Don't always allow them to demand that you entertain them. Instead, cultivate a spirit of creativity in your home. Provide them with tools, not toys. Invest in quality things that you will keep forever, not just junk that ends up in the trash or a garage sale. Tools, as I use it here, means everything from wonderful books, to art and craft supplies, to great outdoor activities, to fascinating things to build with, to cameras, etc. It can include anything that fosters creativity. 


Your attitude toward how they chose to spend their free time is also very important (and should be reflected in how they see us spending our free time). We must train them to accept the responsibility to use their "free time" wisely. 

This may sound extreme, but we were very serious about the child's responsibility to "entertain" themselves. And so, if any of our children uttered the dreaded, "I'm bored", they were sent to scrub the toilets. We explained to them that God has designed them with a wonderful imagination and He expects us to use it for His glory. And when they chose to be bored, because it is their choice, we would supply them with something productive to do. 


Our first three children still tease me because, until the oldest was about twelve, they didn't know our television had Saturday morning cartoons on it. They were under the impression that only Grandma's tv had them, because the only time they watched them was when we traveled to their house and someone there turned them on. One day, they realized those same cartoons were on our television and they looked at me with the most incredulous looks. Since then, they have actually told me "thank you" for not allowing them to waste their time mindlessly watching television. Yes, we do watch some television. But it is limited. And if a child shows us they haven't learned to properly make use of their own time, their opportunities to watch television are basically non-existent. 


A word of encouragement here if it will be necessary "to unlearn" some of the ways things have been done up to now: have the kids sit down and explain to them that you, as their parent, have learned a better way to do things. (This works with anything the Lord shows me that needs "upgrading.") Tell them that the Lord wants us to use our free time to create and be productive, because when we do we are like Him. They will understand. They may not like how the new path feels initially, but that is okay. Your attitude of enthusiastic encouragement will help them as they exercise their newly found "creativity-muscles." At first, you may have to help them consider all the choices they have for being creative by listing the resources you have provided. But at a certain point, when you know they are simply not wanting to engage in the creative process and take responsibility for the wise use of their free time, hand them a toilet brush. It really works! And until they "buy in" to the new plan, your toilets will always be clean!


A few of the things we have invested in over the years:
Wedgits
Legos
Rokenbok
Knex
Brio Trains
Living Books
A comb binder (to make books)
A whole host of games (I love the games from Timberdoodle) 
Tool Boxes with real tools
Sewing machines
A big fort outside, complete with zip line
Lots of scissors, paper, glue, stamps, markers, colored pencils, pipe cleaners, stencils, drawing books, glitter, fabric, etc.


Basically, when buying things to encourage creativity look for items that are open ended, that allow unlimited outcomes. Outcomes to be determined by the imagination of your child, not the limitations of the toy/tool. 

One testimony here of just how faithfully the Lord grows the character we try to teach our children: 
Years ago, we gave Hannah (our oldest) a nice camera. I think it was for her birthday or Christmas. She didn't get much else, because that used up the budget. But that camera encouraged her natural giftings and abilities and she is now a professional photographer. She uses her gift to help others see their God given beauty and she considers it part of her ministry for the Lord. And, because there is so much flexibility she can work out of her home and schedule it around her husband's job. Here is her blog, in case you would like to see some of her work (her new website is under construction). 
Hannah Katherine Photography

Conceding Defeat

Photo courtesy of PhotoBucket

Our laundry woes have taken a dark turn. 

First, a quick recap (including previously unreleased information):

During the dreaded attack of the flu and Fifth's Disease the week of Christmas, there were many things that occurred in our home WITHOUT ADULT SUPERVISION! I was incapacitated for days and days. And during that parental vacuum, our two youngest sons (who have repeatedly been given instructions on how to properly do the laundry) crammed so many items in the washing machine that things were climbing over the edges of the drum. We didn't know it then, but that was the cause of all the washing machine issues which ended up including 6 visits by repairmen, and $300+ in repairs. Oh yes, and that also led to the purchase of a new dryer. 

It happened this way: 
 1. The washer was stuffed tightly to overflowing with dirty boy clothes and started.
 2. When it began spinning, several of their socks, unbeknownst to anyone, went over 
     the top of the drum.
 3. The load could not balance itself and therefore would not spin out.
 4. The boys then took the unspun, dripping wet load and put it in the dryer (the old one  
     with a perforated drum).
 5. The dryer, never intended to deal with gallons of water, shorted out and completely 
     fried itself. Thankfully, I had stumbled into the kitchen about this time and smelled   
     that hot, electrical, frying wire smell and unplugged it.
 6. Then followed the clothesline-in-the-garage incident in which we attempted to dry 
     that massive load of boy clothes in very cold weather (it took like 3 days) expecting 
     the delivery of our dryer any day. 
 7. My new dryer took over a week to come in and during that time we realized the  
     washing machine was not working--it wouldn't spin out a load. 
 8. Then all the repairman visits followed during which time two different parts were  
     ordered and installed without resolving the problem.
 9. During the 6th visit by a repairman, it was finally discovered that the real problem   
     with the washing machine was the several boy socks that had become lodged between 
     the outside of the drum and the wall of the washer and prevented a properly 
     functioning spin cycle.
10. Immediately upon the removal of said socks, the washing machine instantaneously 
      resumed normal operations. While waiting the two and a half weeks for this 
      momentous event, the new dryer was delivered and installed. 
11. My precious husband had picked it out for me while I was still horizontal and feverish. 
     And he did an outstanding job of choosing the one he thought would be the very best  
     one. The only problem was, it didn't get the clothes dry. At least not without running  
     it for two complete cycles. I thought it was simply too energy-efficient for its own  
     good. But I certainly wasn't going to mention it to Kregg. I just assumed I would be 
     drying each load twice for the next several years. Until Saturday, when it simply quit 
     drying anything. 
12. I called the store where we purchased it because it is still under warranty. Fine, they  
     will send out a repairman. TWO WEEKS FROM NOW! 

In the meantime?


I think we are going to just admit defeat. I'm considering looking for a nudist colony that allows large families. My one requirement? We must be allowed to live in complete anonymity and totally isolated seclusion, defined as 100 square miles per single inhabitant. If you have a recommendation, please let me know because I have yet to find a suitable place. 

And if we can't quite make the leap to living in a nudist colony, Plan B would be designing our own line of disposable clothing. I'm thinking paper towels and duct tape could be transformed into quite fashionable items. Have you see all the cute prints in paper towels these days? And the rainbow of duct tape colors truly is inspiring.

Since I will have much more free time on my hands now that laundry is off my list, I'm thinking of taking up a new hobby, say bottle cap collecting or taxidermy. 

Come to think of it, another benefit to doing laundry no more is all that extra space I will have in my utility room. Perhaps I could fit in a couple more bookshelves? Or we could use all that extra space for more paper towels and duct tape for our disposable clothing. I could put the floral print paper towels, for the girls, on one side where the washer was and the plain white paper towels on the other side in the dryer's spot, for the boys. 

This whole laundry fiasco may end up being quite wonderful in the end.
  

Permission to Parent

Our "guinea pig"--the day we brought her home from the hospital

I remember when we were rookie parents. We didn't have a clue. About anything! I think that is why the Lord gave us a very "strong" child right out of the gate. And I am very thankful He did. She served as our guinea pig so we could test all our new skills and theories concerning parenting. I am also thankful He put people in our path to help us learn to be parents. We really did not understand what to expect from our children.

Recently we have been reminded that many young parents do not have mentoring relationships and so I felt it might be helpful to hear some of the lessons we learned from those "down the road" ahead of us all those years ago. So all of you veteran parents out there can just skip this post. Or better yet, add in anything I leave out in the comments section. Because we still don't know it all (and never will).

The four areas listed here are each essential to successfully training our children up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord.

Obedience
Doesn't it just break your heart to be in the grocery store and hear a child defying a parent. I often begin praying right then and there for that poor, frazzled parent. Many of them have probably never been told that they should expect their child to obey them. 

The standard for obedience should be: instant, complete, and cheerful. 

Our children are able to understand what is required of them from a very early age. And as soon as they can understand, even before many of them become verbal, they should be expected to begin learning to obey. This is so foundational for everything that follows, that it deserves your focused attention. During this season of parenting, everything else needs to stop when disobedience occurs. And when you consistently give it your undivided attention, your child learns that this is important. The more diligent we are about their training, the more quickly they learn. And, as with all child training, you want to teach them from the beginning that the standards you are asking them to live by are from the Lord, not from you. They need to understand that you are required by the Lord to train and discipline them. It is not just you being "mean."

Respect
From the beginning, you need to help your child understand that you are to be respected, honored, because that is what the Lord expects. This includes showing you respect in their voice, their actions and their countenance. They should not be allowed to speak to you with a "sassy" tone or look at you with any defiance in their eyes. Many parents struggle with this because they believe if the child "did what they were told", then that is enough. But if that seed of disrespect is left unaddressed, it will grow. And the child knows when their heart is not submitted to your authority. They really do want you to require more of them. Because their hearts will not be filled with peace if they know they are not honoring you the way they should.

Help
You should train your children from the time they are very young to be helpers. Anything they are able to do, they should help do. When you treat it in a matter-of-fact way, they don't know they are being "abused". If children are trained from the beginning to participate in the family responsibilities, it gives them a sense of ownership. They should, for example, put away their toys, help fold laundry, assist with the dishes, feed the animals. Selfish children are unhappy children. They may not really understand the connection between a servant's spirit and a joyful heart initially. But they will as they grow older. And when you praise their godly character, they receive external and internal reinforcement.

Attitude 
We should expect our children to have a cheerful heart. Some young ones are more prone than others to sulking and pouting. Many children quickly learn they can manipulate their parents through "acting out", especially in public. When parents allow this, they are actually handing control over to their children.  The parent must not be afraid of upsetting their child. Too often, it embarrasses a parent when a child misbehaves in public and so they try to appease the child to make them stop. This plays right into the hands of the child. On the other hand, when a child understands that the parent will not tolerate this behavior, that they will immediately remove the child from the "audience" and deal with the misbehavior, they quickly learn to behave in public. Even young children can learn that they do not have to allow their feelings to control their actions. (A lesson many adults would do well to learn.)

One resource I wish I had had when we were starting out is a delightful little book by Ginger Plowman. She does an excellent job of explaining the process of child training with a wonderful sense of humor thrown in as a bonus. The book is called Don't Make Me Count to Three. (I have provided this link to my favorite place to purchase this book. But it is simply for your convenience. I'm not an associate or affiliate, or whatever it is called. I just really think it is a great book.) I have even been known to give this book as a baby gift to new moms. It's that good.

I hope this helps. It helped me when my mentors taught me these things. Sometimes, in the world in which we live, parents need to be given permission to be the parent. 

So . . .

Now Hear This:

You are the parent. They are children!! Be the parent! It's your job, given you by the Lord. When He gave you your child, He trusted you to do the job. Do not let anything or anyone convince you otherwise. Everything you need to do an excellent job IS AVAILABLE TO YOU RIGHT NOW. Through Him! Ask Him for what you need. Pour out your heart in prayer. None of us can do this job without Him. It's hard work, but the fruit of your labors will ripple out into eternity for generations to come. 


How's that for a "perspective check?"

Okay, I'm done for now. (stepping off my soapbox)
 

Wipe That Smile Off Your Face!

Elizabeth, squealing, as she tries to outrun the waves

As a person who sees life in black and white, I can tend to be the "all work and no play" type. That's sort of my default, pre-set response. How very dull. And that is another reason the Lord gave me seven children: to teach me to "lighten-up". Yes, there are big, hard issues to deal with in my role as wife and mother. But I think the more I grow in my understanding of who our God is and what He is like, the more I see how He is so much about Joy. How else can you explain otters and the giggles of babies and chocolate? 

And so because it has been such a gloomy week weather-wise, and because we have a house full of sick children, and because there are so many people we love struggling with hard things, I am declaring a "Time Out." 

For Joy. 

These pictures are simply things that make me smile, that remind me to be joyful.

Caleb trying to speak "fish". I don't think it worked.

Isn't that the most angelic face you've ever seen?

Tugs on a momma's heart

I just really don't know what to say . . .

How many cousins can sit on the top rail before reaching critical mass?

Two monkeys peeking out of the laundry hamper

Siblings experiencing the joy of nausea together--such a bonding experience

The whole herd of "hambones"

Big sister making little sister laugh hysterically

My Beloved and one of the many critters who have been on the Conderosa

This funny little donkey wanted to eat the camera.

Elizabeth's puppy howling

Ben rolling down a snow patch in July

I can always choose it. It is always available. Why would I ever pick anything else? 

So as I continue to focus on my two words for 2011, Blessing and Being, I want to remember to switch off my "default" settings and be joyful. 

Outrageously, contagiously JOYFUL. 

The End.